stop optimizing, start writing to your prison penpal.

0:14 And this is Bestie approved. What's the last song you listened to? Oh, I don't even have to look. I know for a fact it was The Subway by Chapel Roan, because I swear to God, I'm hitting those notes every time I'm in the car. I love that. I'm getting signed soon. Watch out. Mine is Love Bites by Nelly Furtado and Tuck. How do you say it? It's not Tove Lo. How do you say it? Tove Lo. No, it's, like, Tuve Lo. Tove Lo. I don't remember. I don't know. She's, like, in a bunch of songs you don't realize that she's in. She's also, like, I guess, like, a really talented writer, too. Yeah. Like, what was the girl that wrote? Bonnie McKee or whatever her name was that wrote a ton of songs for, like, really famous, famous, famous artists. Like, she's, like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I love.

1:11 Love. But I'm really glad Natalie Furtado is making a comeback. Yeah, that's actually what I was going to complain about today is the comment section under Natalie Furtado's latest live performance. Oh, OK. Are we are we jumping right into complaining then? We can. We can. I'm still moving stuff to next week. Dear listener, just know that Emma and I have a shared note of. It's the most chaotic stream of thoughts, to be a thousand percent honest with you. But I find myself adding things randomly every time I see a TikTok, just like with a thing that's like just it just says what in the actual fuck next to it constantly. So that's what we're working with today. But we're going to jump right into complaining. So, Emma, take it away. My pregnancy update can also just be complaining. My back hurts. My hips hurt.

2:04 I'm over it, and I still have allegedly 18 weeks left. I'm over it. Well, 17 by the time you hear this. But still, I'm done. I'm ready. I can't do it. Okay, but getting into what I actually want to complain about, I see Nelly Furtado. Performing live. Looking stunning. Looking... As incredible as she did in 2003. Yes. Just a little older and perhaps a little larger because she's 20 years older. And all of the comments, all of them, all of them, all of them were either calling her fat or... Defend people trying to defend her against the people calling her fat.

3:05 Are you people OK? Like, are you OK? She looks so good. She's literally stunning. Her voice has never been better. I could not believe what I was seeing. If you have not seen this on TikTok, all you have to look up is Nelly Furtado. It is insane, actually. I struggle with this. Because. How? No, no, no, no. I struggle with like this idea that like people need to look the same as they did forever. Like it's, it's, it's clinically impossible. I mean, like you've got Kim Kardashian who doesn't look the same way she looked in 2007 and no one's batting an eye at that. She has never looked the same two years in a row. But like you have Nelly Furtado who. Has children.

3:55 Has children. dropped off the radar for a while like whatever and then she she makes a comeback and it's like did you think she was going to look the same that she looked when she was 22 years old singing i'm like a bird it's like i struggle with that like that entire mindset like what are you holding on to well it's like i don't know you have people like dolly parton she's aged But she looks relatively the same, just older. And people don't say anything. People feel the freedom to comment on people's weight. And I'm over it. I'm over it. I think it's disgusting. I agree. Also, this is why we have an Ozempic epidemic where you have people who are 150 pounds taking Ozempic. These celebrities who don't need it and now they look weird. Well, so... We'll get into the Ozempic thing eventually, because I struggle with. It's a little bit of a Pandora's box thing for me with the Ozempic thing where it's like, OK, we have found. Ostensibly a medicine that. Is reversing an obesity epidemic, it is it's they found incredible use cases for diabetes, diabetes for addiction, for. Anti -aging benefits because they're they're calling it the fountain of youth now because it's actually slowing down

5:26 like cellular aging. They've found it's slowing. I'm so happy for the people who are benefiting from it genuinely. Sure. But there I've seen so many celebrities who are not even on the verge of overweight and they just look awful. Awful. it's the olympic face that's what you're it's that the face that you get who was it i don't even want to like say who i think it was because i'm again i don't think it's cool that we think it's free reign to comment on people's weight and bodies especially women but like you're too skinny and what i fear is going to happen is we fall back into heroin chic that that does scare me and we have eating disorders out the wazoo girls who haven't eaten in four days like i can't well it's it's scary because there's going to come a point in time where people say well there's no excuse like you you should be skinny like you you've got um That's another point I want to make about that, actually. Go ahead. With the Ozempic thing, with it being like pretty readily available. So easily accessible.

6:51 If you have insurance and if you don't have insurance and you need the money to pay for it, it's going to be a poor man's disease to be fat. Oh, that is what I fear. That's just what I see. No, that's a fair point. But the other side of that, too, is I was talking to my doctor, the one Nancy works at, the American hero that saved the children from a fire. I think about her a lot. But that doctor that she works for was talking about how what they're starting to find is like the compounding pharmacies that we've known people to go through to get semaglutide and trizepatide. It's all counterfeit. Every bit of it. And, like, I don't understand how that's even possible. My mom works in pharmaceuticals. In production, not, like, at a pharmacy. Compounding pharmacies are a problem.

7:51 Oh, yeah. They are a huge problem, and they're not regulated the way that other places that make them real. They don't follow FDA guidelines. Right. It's scary. Very scary. And there are some people who are like, well, I have to get my medicine from this compounding pharmacy. It's like the only place to get it or whatever. So I had the same thing when I was when I had to be on testosterone because my body simply wasn't producing enough of it. And you it's impossible to get it from a regular pharmacy like. So I don't know what the answer to it is. And like I. I struggle with this whole conversation around like where you should and shouldn't be getting medications because I think that it speaks to a larger issue that is the broken medical system in the United States. Yeah, it's just a symptom of the actual disease. Right. But I also believe that like you shouldn't. You should not be able to open the doors of a business and buy. And this is this is not anything other than like what what research has shown us. We are finding that. Fake medication is coming out of certain regions of Asia. And you shouldn't be able to buy that and sell that in a pharmacy to people that are desperate for medication. That is fucking insane to me. You're going to give a sugar pill to someone who thinks they're taking an aspirin,

9:22 but they're diabetic and then they spike. And now what? Is the compounding pharmacy going to pay that ER bill? No. No, because you can't get them. Right. It's just so weird. I don't understand why it's allowed. Anyway, moving on. What do you want to complain about? What am I complaining about? Have you noticed that stores are getting rid of baskets? Literally, no. I saw that. I saw that you put that in the note and I was like, OK, but I just used a basket at Meijer. OK, the Meijer by your house has them. The Meijer on East Washington Street and the Meijer in Southport do not have them anymore. Not to generalize, but are we sure they're not being stolen? Entire.

10:07 I don't know. Maybe they are. I don't know. But like that. OK, so like. You know, when you go into a store, this is what I'm complaining about, dear listener, you go into a store and you have the option of either a cart or a basket. And I prefer to get the basket and the Kroger and Nora is the same way. They don't have the baskets anymore. So I find myself I don't like carts because and this is. This is a peek into my neurodivergence. I can't handle a cart that like if the wheel on it is like bumpy, I cannot. It's a trigger for me. You just test it right by the line of carts. And if it's wonky, you get a different cart. That's what I do every single time. But like you've never been walking through the store and it just starts getting bumpy. No, because I've done it back and forth five times by the carts. And I will not take a cart. I've watched the wheels. I know what to look for. When I'm testing my carts at the Whole Foods, at the Meijer, anywhere. People are tuning out so hard right now. I feel like people understand this. I test my carts. So if you ever see like a stray cart that's just like by the rest of the carts, never use it. OK, never use it. Someone decided it was not worthy. OK, well, so maybe I'll start testing my carts, but because I can't handle a bumpy wheel. And so what I've resorted to is

11:39 literally like anything my little arms can carry is what I end up buying. That's just where we're at. I hate a basket because it gets so heavy. I guess you're not like carrying a purse. I always have my big ass 20 pound purse. And so if I have a basket full of stuff in my other arm, like I am weighed down. I am not happy. That is a lot for a woman that has like a purse and a whole thing. It's a lot. And you always have a fairly big purse. One thing about me, I love a big purse. You do. I've always been that way. Even like in high school when I had a backpack, I needed a big purse too. See, I love a belt bag. I love more than anything a Lululemon belt bag. I've started using mine more, but even when I use my belt bag, my whole purse is in my car and I just take what I want from my purse and put it in my belt bag. It's probably not a bad idea.

12:33 So like you're not, you don't have too much in your bag with you though. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway. We've got we don't have a time because we moved a lot to the next couple of weeks, but. We'll start with what I've found myself falling in love with. Do you get the I know I've sent them to you before, so I don't know if it's changed your algorithm. Do you get like the random videos like from prisoners in Idaho on TikTok? I see a lot of videos of prisoners on Twitter, but not on TikTok. So my TikTok feed is full of them because it knows I'm single. And I love I love a guy that looks like he'd go to prison. Like, let's just call it what it is. But they keep showing up on my for you page. And it's like, hey, I'm this guy. I'm getting out in like eight months. Write me a letter. And it's like always for that app that you can put money on or whatever.

13:35 And I have found myself like. do i say pay jay pay that's yeah and i'm like do i send them money like do i tell like do i tell them i'm in love with them because they're so hot but also i thought they weren't supposed to have phones no it's like i think it's like a little video booth or something they have set up because it's always from the same perspective it's always in the same place like what account is it even on i've never looked like do they have it's hang on i'll tell you exactly what it's called it's called prison friendship right i knew that it was like not their individual accounts no it's like one thing that keeps posting all them but they're all like look at this man he's so hot i will have you know you're not the only person to do that they're like it's a common thing with like serial killers and people who have done really awful things they'll like get girlfriends via letters. Like, people will write them fan letters.

14:38 Oh, see, I don't want... And that's been happening for decades. I don't want a murderer. I want someone who's, like, in prison for, like, maybe petty theft or something. Right. Or, like... Ooh, a car thief. A grand theft auto. Or, like... Securities fraud. I could deal with that. Ugh, so boring. I mean, I don't want violent criminals, like unless it's like standing up for like tax evaders. I would. Yeah, I don't care about that. So like, yeah, no. Listen, dear listener, it's hard to be a grown up. It's hard to file your taxes. Dear listener, if you know any hot prisoners, please send them my way. It's Travis at Travis and Emma dot com. Listen, it's fine. What else?

15:29 What else is on the list? So, okay. I like both of these questions and I want to answer both of them. Okay. I want to know what colors you think math, English, social studies, and science are. Well, science was always green. Okay. Social studies was blue. No. English was, no, no, no, I'm sorry. English was blue. Social studies was yellow. Math was red. Right. So wildly incorrect to me. OK, well, we're talking about like what folder you would use for each class. Like it's a very individual question. No, my school. So this popped up on TikTok and like people are like fighting in the comments about it. My school like you had you had to do this. Like teachers mandated which folders were which colors. I wish you could tell me what folder I have to use.

16:31 No. So science is green for sure. And it was always like, I don't know why every green folder is like a loud chartreuse of a green. But anyway, English is purple. Math is blue. Social studies is red. Okay. Because that is how my brain works. But like your school didn't tell you what colors to be. No, I wish they would. They stopped being that specific after like elementary school. No, this was a thing clear up until like probably my sophomore year of high school. And then because I remember I had a Captain America folder that like I got like it got sent home with me. And the way that my papa like threw a fit with Mr.

17:22 Lindsay being like, you're out of your ever loving mind. Like this was. Probably fifth or sixth grade, but like he was just like you were out of your ever loving mind if you think that like this is acceptable. But yeah, no, like it was. I think this was a mandated thing. Why they would do that. I mean, I guess if you're keeping them at school, but like we carried all of our stuff around. I don't know. Triton was weird about a lot of things. That is so weird. I remember I had one year these folders that like. If you rub them with a pencil, it would go. And if you shifted it, like the picture on it shifted. I hated those with every fiber by being because I couldn't handle the sound they made. The noise was really bad. It was really bad. It was really bad. Did you ever get in trouble for having trapper keepers at school? We weren't allowed to have trapper keepers like the zipper. I never saw anyone get in trouble for it. But on on our school supply list, it would say. All caps and bold, no Trapper Keepers. Yeah. What is the problem with the Trapper Keeper? I don't understand it.

18:36 What is a Trapper Keeper? A Trapper Keeper was like, it was like a big binder that you, that like zipped up, but like you could keep like pencils and like a bunch of stuff inside of it. Like it had like pockets for everything. And like in today's age, I'll buy that. Like you can hide a phone in there or you can hide like whatever in there. But like in 2004, I thought it was a wild concept to say don't bring this to school because like. Unless it was like an elitist thing, it's like, oh, I can afford a trapper keeper and you can't because that was a very serious problem. In fifth grade, we all had to have this specific brand of binder that was. essentially the same thing it was like a binder that would zip up and it had pockets but that was for extended learning gifted kids it was horrible wild yeah did you ever have the the like agenda things or whatever that you would like write everything down and they would send it home when your parents had to sign it oh my parents never had to sign one oh My granny and papa just signed mine every single week. Actually, they had to sign our reading log, but that was it. Oh, that was all part of our agenda, yeah.

19:56 Oh, no. But, like, ours, I think, was just to say, like, oh, yeah, we know what homework our kid's doing or whatever. And the way that, like, we'll get into this one day, but, like, I wish I could, like... this is such a specific memory that my aunt tanya and i both have of like sitting at the kitchen table and like my granny would be down and and this like happened to us independently and we both corroborate this story for each other so like we know it happened like to us individually but like My granny would just be sitting down like watching like TV or whatever. And my Pavel would just be up in the kitchen screaming at us about our math homework. And I'm like, he doesn't need to sign this because I like I had the trauma of screaming. I do know that some places did that because I had I was one of those kids that got on like a little bus that took you to a daycare after school. And I distinctly remember this little girl. forging her mother's initials every day. Which, like, go off, Quinn.

21:06 I don't know. Like, if you're not failing... I mean, that's my argument. It's like, I don't see why the parent needs to sign it if, like, the kid's doing the homework. You know there's a problem if the kid's not doing the homework. That's the long and short of it. Like, that is how you know there's a problem. Also, this is... I fully forgot about this. Speaking of my aunt Tanya, my cousin Taylor started listening to the show. She loves us. Hi, Taylor. Josh, I love you. What's next? Have you seen this idea of. And it's not necessarily related to AI, but I think it. consistently comes back to ai of people needing to automate and like optimize everything in their lives on tiktok yes it reminds me so very much of the early 2000s absolute pinnacle cinema smart house yes yes which i loved but do we not remember the end of smart yes we're the mom from um oh god what was that show um Was she the mom on another show? She was the mom on... Fuck, what was that show? She looks like the mom on Malcolm in the Middle, but I don't think that's her. I can find out. She's the mom... She's on Futurama. She's the one -eyed lady on Futurama. And she's also... Yeah, that's her voice. Oh! Not early 2000s. It came out in

22:37 1999. Did it really? That's... crazy actually it was the show where like the dad hated his family it's the dad from um modern family what they were married on this show her name was peggy hang on known for future married with children with children that is not my phil dunphy No, no, no, no. Like the, the grandpa, like, uh, yes, yes. I thought you meant Phil. No, no, no. I'm sorry. Like the, like, uh, Sofia Vergara's husband on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. But yeah, she was like ruining lives cause she wanted to take over. But like, this all came from. and like there there are a lot of things that like i know i get into that not everyone gets into and like and i've talked to him about this before where like i've seen in like reddit groups about podcasting like oh are there ways to like automate like the editing of my show and i love editing the podcast i love like i i love all of it and like at this and i think this triggered me because like i also saw this like laundry folding robot on tiktok and this guy bought it and he was like oh yeah like i bought it to like automate my life and it frees up so much time for me and i also love folding laundry like that's actually a thing i genuinely enjoy doing but you use the time

24:09 cleaners what When I get the tide, when I pick up my tide cleaner stuff, I refold all my laundry. That's absolutely insane. That is insane. I have a little folding board that I fold everything from. I love it so much and I won't be attacked for it. Dear listener, I also don't do my own laundry. I take everything to the tide cleaner and when I get it home, I refold it and I put it away. But my question is, is like, okay, so you're automating everything in your life. You're optimizing everything. Everything is so efficient. Like you have, you've no inefficiencies in your life. What are you freeing up your time to do? To scroll on TikTok. I don't know. And the girls on the deep dive with June Diane Rayfield and Jessica St. Clair, they talk about this a lot where it's like, I don't want to automate my life. I don't want to optimize. I just want to sit. And sometimes that's just okay. And I don't need everything to be. Six Sigma black belt course in in lean management. Right. I have talked about this in my personal life. We have lost the plot on like enjoying our lives in general. Yes. Dilly dallying. Like. Frolicking. Everything is a chore.

25:28 Everything. People are so focused on getting things done that they forget to enjoy anything in their lives at all. And it's sad to watch. Like, just turn on some music while you fold your laundry. You'll enjoy it more. Or. Except that, like, this is a part of life. And if you don't want to do it, like, hire a housekeeper. Do whatever you want to do. I don't care about that. But, like, this is a thing that, like, normal people do. Yeah. You know what fixed me? What? Sorry. No, please, go ahead. Finish. No, no, no, go ahead. Is the idea of practicing gratitude.

26:08 It sounds so corny and so woo -woo until you actually do it. Because, like... I hate doing the laundry too. But if you sit there and you're like, I'm so grateful to have clean clothes. I'm so grateful to be able to do this. It like completely changes the way you think about everything. Like the dishes. That's another thing that's like Sisyphus pushing his boulder. It sucks if you decide to look at it that way. Or you can say. myself and my family are fed and this is the outcome of that and i'm grateful to be able to do this right it like completely changed how i view stuff like that i think that's amazing that like you got there but i'm just but like i i think that speaks to a larger thing of like this obsession with like we have to be grateful or we have to be efficient like we can't just be normal people like do you know what i mean yeah and i think it's it's like the work culture we've cultivated that grind set thing yeah yeah because you go to work and for nine hours a day let's be honest no one's working eight hours everyone's working nine at a minimum yeah yeah The whole time, everything is like, how can you get this done faster? How can you get this done better and faster? It's never quality. It's never, how can we improve the quality of your work?

27:43 How can we improve your language skills? How can we improve your communication? No, it's how fast can you get this done to an acceptable level? Mm hmm. And so I think it's like hard to turn that off when you get home. Well, and it's not to mention everyone's exhausted when they get home. Well, that and like what I struggle with is like because I talked to my doctor about this recently when I had a checkup after I busted my head open and he came in and he like he was just like, OK, like, did I answer all your questions today? And I was like, yeah, everything's fine. He goes and he like he and I have a very good relationship. Like he's he's such a good doctor. But he was. Talking to me about like, yeah, you know, they did this study about. About if if a doctor spends, I think, on average, three more minutes with a patient, satisfaction rates skyrocket with the medical industry, like and it's just like and it doesn't matter like what the doctor did. It's like, did the patient feel heard? Did the patient feel like they were valued? And on the other side of that. These these major health conglomerates in Indiana, there are like three of them. It's IU Health Community and Ascension St. Vincent. And I think there's a Riverview.

28:58 You've got like those businesses that are saying. And my doctor told me this, he goes, I'm expected at most to spend 15 minutes with the patient. Because it's a numbers game. They want the maximum number of patients because if you're not going to their hospital, you're going somewhere else. And like that, that's a problem with insurance companies and the whole privatized hospital thing is that we're not worried about your quality of care. We're worried about getting you in and out. How many people can we get through the door? You're a number. Yeah. And that for me is. I'm like, where do you find the balance? Because it's and it comes back to the same thing of like where, yeah, corporations are evil, but like they still have to serve the people that they.

29:45 That are like patronizing them. So I guess for me, it's just like, OK, where do you find the balance of like? Of profit and. acknowledging that these people are the only reason you have a functioning business i well that's the breakdown for me is like okay okay so you're operating as a hospital in this very capitalist society so you need to draw people in as a patient i am much more likely You were smacking that thing, too. Have your drink. No, go. Are you muted?

30:29 Oh. I was, like, just waiting. Okay. No, no, no. Okay. Right. So you're a hospital operating in this capitalist society. You need to draw patients into you to choose your hospital. I can only speak for myself, but I am so much more likely to choose you based off of people saying they've had wonderful, careful experiences there versus you saying you had 89 ,000 patients. Like, I don't care how many patients you had. I care about what people have to say about you. Do you want to know something I think is wild? Is hospitals having marketing departments in general? Well, yeah, because it's like I understand it to some extent because it's like I do believe hospitals and health care systems should be involved in the community and be accessible in that way.

31:27 But they shouldn't be running commercials. No. If anything, all you need is patient testimonies and that's it. Right. But for me, I'm just like it is wild to me that. There are there are hospitals that are like we're the number one choice for like X, Y and Z, like whatever. And I'm like, let me tell you where I'm not interested where anyone's the number one choice of when I have busted the back of my head open when I am mid stroke. I'm like, OK, where can I get to now? Yeah. And if anything, if I know that you're the number one that's doing all of this, I'm assuming you are too busy. that like that's what you put in my head i don't know but yeah that's but and i don't know how we got here from this like whole optimization thing but like i just i my dear listener i ask you stop and smell the roses stop and go for a walk like not everything needs to be enjoy your life you literally get one if you get more than one you won't remember this one anyway so please Like, I just can't understand. Like, I guess my question is, who is it for? Like, who are you optimizing for?

32:46 And I do. Let me end with this. I do see the argument for. People with disabilities, obviously. If you're in chronic pain or if something is extremely difficult for you to do, I want that to be automated for you. That's improving the quality of your life. Yes. That's very, very different from what I'm talking about. Yeah, I just wanted to throw that out there because I didn't want to come off as, like, ableist, as, like, you should fold your laundry. No, I think, no, no, no, no. We're not saying that at all. No, dear listener, if it's improving the quality of your life, yes, please, by all means. But I do think your average Joe shouldn't be buying a robot to walk his dog. No. You need to walk your dog because you need the fresh air and you need to, like, exist. I also think that would help with, like, being such an individualistic society. you know, we've talked about it before a hundred times, but people are only in it for themselves. There's no like community. Okay.

33:52 We're back. We're back. What else? Oh, one thing I want to talk about. Have you seen the breakdown that is the canceled podcast? No, what's happening there? Like, cause I've heard, I keep hearing about it. I don't know what's going on. OK, so it's two girls, Tana Mongeau, who I would be shocked if you didn't know. I know who she is. And then her friend, Brooke Schofield, I think is how you say it. OK, they had there was this one clip that really like shone a light on everything that's happening. Sure. They were talking and Tana was like, yeah, you pretty much disagree with everything I have to say. And she was like.

34:41 It's not that I'm trying to disagree with you. It's I genuinely do disagree with you on everything. And they were like best friends. Yeah. And they talked about like being a yin and yang is sometimes good. And a lot of times, like Tana says she needed to hear it and you're hearing both sides of the thing. So it works. But like eventually. They just kind of fell apart. So this is where the clips of them... I think it was Tana saying, I just don't want to do this anymore. That's where that all came from? Yeah. And to be fair, Tana's done her whole career on social media.

35:21 I've been watching Tana Mongeau for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Where does she come from? She's from Vegas. And she just, like, started making videos one day. And then she was connected with David Dobrik for a while. But then she was friends with Jeff after that whole thing happened. And then, I don't, I mean, she's just. So, like, she wasn't on, like, a reality show or something. No. She came up completely. Like, on her own. Genuinely on the internet. Oh, good for her. And it's because she's funny and she's very real. Yeah, yeah. Like, she's like, here are my tape and extensions. Let's do them in 20 minutes before I catch a 6 a .m. flight. Like, that's very Tana.

36:05 Sure. And so it's entertaining to watch. It's like, yeah. All right. She would love this. She's like our generation. Not my generation, I'm too old for that. The Next Generation's Paris Hilton. Oh, okay. Where it's just, like, fun to watch. I'm not saying you should be exactly like her, but she is entertaining. Sure. No, I liked Hannah. I listened to a few episodes, and then, like, it just... There's been, like, a breakdown of... I think they didn't really like each other. That's kind of what like I felt when I was listening to it. I think also Brooke got engaged recently.

36:48 And so I think they're just they just kind of grew apart. And so they decided to quit doing the podcast. Yeah. Another thing I saw is they have not communicated anything about how they're going to do that because she was like, should I just delete every video? of the canceled podcast so i can use this channel for like my vlogs and brooke was like no what is my absence well so i i think that it brings up a kind of interesting point because there's another podcast um oh my god It was too much or something like that. I know I said it to you, like when we were starting this whole journey, I very vividly. If I didn't say this, I very vividly remember thinking it.

37:33 I said, we cannot let this let us turn into this where it's like these two girls that were podcasting. One lived in Los Angeles, one lived in Manhattan. And the girl that lived in Los Angeles just locked. her like the other girl out of all the accounts and like do you remember those i remember yeah it was like a year ago or something yeah and it was like they just hated each other and i was like if we ever get to the point where we don't enjoy doing this like i want to i want to be the first to know that you don't enjoy doing it and we will either figure something out or be stop it immediately because like I don't want us ever to resent each other and I don't yapping on a microphone like why would you even let it get that I know why it's money got in the way they started making money I don't know that it's a money thing because like it becomes an ego thing and I think that the good thing about you and me is I truly believe you and I don't have an ego about most things so I think that's probably our saving grace in a lot of things we're like we are very aware that we are two idiots talking to, at this point, 300 people on the internet. And we're thrilled to be that. I think that there's a difference, too, in age. People are going to hate me for saying this, but I feel like if you're 19 through 23, everything feels so big and so important and so scary that I feel like we're old enough.

39:03 And we're not old. I'm just saying we have frontal lobes and we're 27. I'm genuinely 27, but I think that we're old enough to be like, it's never that serious. You know what I mean? And like, I do take it seriously. Like I will sit here for hours every week and record and be happy to do that. But there's a thing that we should sacrifice our relationship or I should sacrifice. any part of like what I care about. Right. But, but that's the thing is like, I, I said, I, I, we can never turn into this and I don't think we ever will. And like, dear listener, if we ever do just mark this down in your book, episode 12 is where we were wrong. But like, I feel bad.

39:48 Cause I'm like, these are, these were real friends. Like on some level, these people were good friends that like said, I'm going to put myself on the internet. And it fell apart. And that sucks. That is sad. That sucks. I mean, that happens in real life all the time. But not for the entire world to see. Like, it's like, it takes me back to. And granted, part of this was produced by Fox, but like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Like this was a very real friendship that like fell apart. And it was at Harper's Bazaar. It was in Vogue. It was in all these magazines where it was like, oh, the. these two people are not Paris and Nicole anymore and like I cannot imagine what that does to you like psychologically like we're like yeah it makes it has to make all of your emotions like more exaggerated to like see what everyone else has to say yeah because I do think we're in this era where like everyone is giving their two cents everyone has a hot take everyone has an opinion and like at some point you just have to close that out especially when it's about you right like I don't think anyone should be reading all of their comments or anything like that. No. Anyway. Anyway. Are you ready for Reality Roundup? Yes. Okay, so.

41:03 This is an excellent run of the show, by the way. Before we jump into it, and this is related to, well, one of them is tangentially related to, because it's Bravo, but have you seen Justice for Jax on TikTok? Yes. That is Jax Taylor. Jax Taylor is running that account. There is not a doubt in my mind. If anyone can prove me wrong, I will literally be stunned and I'll send you $20. That is Jax Taylor. So Jax Taylor has left, says he left of his own volition, but like he was, so he was originally on Vanderpump Rules and then he went over to the Valley and he was a, demon horrific monster to britney cartwright his wife who he viciously cheated on threw a table out allegedly i don't know if that was ever on camera i don't know if we like there's there's a lot yeah okay but jax taylor like from the beginning and vanderpump has just always been Erratic. If you've never seen him, please look up clips of Jax Taylor. Yes. Please. He is a horrible human being, but he is entertaining.

42:19 He's entertaining and he is as hot as the day is long. And that's why he's been given a platform. But he is no longer on the Valley. He says he's taking at least a season off. God bless. That's fine. He. jack stanley doesn't believe in mental health like no he doesn't there's an account though floating around it's called justice the number four jacks and it is literally comments on On his on his restaurant page being like, it's the greatest guy. He came around. It's like, do you remember when Donald Trump did this in the late 80s, early 90s, where he pretended to be his own publicist and he would call people?

42:59 This is what it reminds me. Oh, my God. That's exactly what it is. Yes. And it's like a pity party. Like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I couldn't figure out for a little bit whether it was a parody or whether it was Jax Taylor. And I'm just like, you know what? If no one believes in him, at least he believes in himself. That has always reigned true for Jax Taylor. It didn't matter what he did. I'm an avid Vanderpump Rules fan, especially the early seasons. And it didn't matter what he did. He was in his corner. He would go in that confessional and he would be like, I'm just a man. I'm just a guy. I wanted to. You can if you want to. You can if you want to. Oh, Lord. The other thing is. God almighty, I'm so happy. We foretold this. We did foretell this. And I'm so thrilled. Ghislaine Maxwell is. I pray being bullied within an inch of her life by one. We said that. We said that in the last episode and now it's really happening. Yes.

44:09 Like I pray that Ghislaine is not sleeping over it. Like that is what I want. But yeah. So, you know, Jennifer Shaw is running these. The Shaw amazing yoga classes in Bryan Federal Correctional Facility. Yeah. And like little pageants and stuff, too. And like putting on plays of being the real house. I love her so much. Here's the honest to Christ truth. Jen Shaw did some bad shit. Jen Shaw. is an entertaining person if she can say i love jen shaw i know what she did she is so funny if she can apologize and make retributions to the people she wronged i can forgive her i'm gonna come on like how chic can you be i love but the the the real thing right now is jen shaw Who is who's become best friends with Elizabeth Holmes. And I love that they are just like trying to figure out their next fraud scheme together, maybe allegedly. But like Jen Shaw said, Ghislaine Maxwell, you are not welcome in the Shaw amazing yoga classes. And I was like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're not welcome in any of these things that I'm throwing in any of them.

45:30 And I I know that like the correction system in the United States is problematic. This is the one time I'm OK with how problematic justice is being served. And like in this very specific instance. Right. And like, I think you were the one who told me this, that like when it comes to kids like these. Yeah. Women's prisons do not fuck around. And yeah. Lord have mercy. No one is fucking with her. And I love it. I love it. I also love the idea of. Do you remember when that tweet circulated around that was like, it's just two dumb bitches telling each other.

46:15 Yes. Yes. That is what I envision when Jen and Elizabeth Holmes talk about their crimes. You just stretch the truth a little bit. What it needed two drops of blood instead of one. Elizabeth. No one's heard of a little white lie anymore. Like they're gaslighting each other into believing it wasn't that bad. That is what I like to envision. I think back a lot to the clips that became public of Jin shot getting on the phone with these telemarketing fraud schemes. Or she goes, hey, it's Crystal or whatever her name was from so and so. And like, I'm just selling you this business opportunity.

47:06 And like, I want to know, like what Elizabeth Holmes has to say about that, because. Elizabeth Holmes, no, she was lying, too. Oh, I guarantee you she sees that and she's like, God forbid you're a businesswoman. God forbid a woman does something to get ahead if a man did it. That is 100 % what I envision their relationship to be. And that brings me nothing but joy. I love it so much. I think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened. Okay, dear listener, we're jumping into the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Yes. Episode two, a snow mountain of trouble. I love whoever names these episodes. You're so silly.

47:50 I do, too. We pick up where we left off, where everyone's at Meredith's birthday party at Jen's house. Jen's having a full blown meltdown, doing the thing of like, you don't fuck with my family. That that whole Teresa G. I stick that she's doing. But she's like different because she's like crying through it. She's crying through it. But if you look at it and like you're looking at it through the lens of like someone who loves reality TV, you're like, oh, this is someone who produced herself on reality TV. Like that was 100 percent. She's being as loud in us like.

48:33 attracting the camera as much as possible you know what I mean which is fun you're in the first season of a reality show you want to be on I will probably do the same thing to not get kicked off you have to like establish yourself yes yes um Heather goes to comforter and in the in the confessional and this becomes a recurring theme with Heather and like this is probably the one complaint I have about Heather is You get two sides. It's like I'm comforting Jen. I'm I'm making her feel better. But then she turns around. She's like, this is crazy. This is absurd. And I feel like it's the mom in her because she's done that with her kids for so long. You know what I mean? Like with kids, when you're like.

49:14 Oh, man, I can't believe that car rolled like that. And then you turn around and you're like, I don't know what we're talking about. It's like that. But so Mary walks in to the bathroom as Jen's having her meltdown. And we hear Heather say it's a privilege to be in Jen's circle. Which leads me to believe behind the scenes on this show, Jen was presented as. The person that the show is going to revolve around and people were paying the piper. I feel like that's what was happening here. Yeah. But we go around and around and around where it's like, you said I smelled like hospital. You said I smelled like hospital.

49:56 And then Mary finally just, like, and I do appreciate this about Mary because I do buy that she is this person in real life. She says, can we just, can we hug it out and call it a day? Please, God, can we make this be done? I hated that. I hated that so much. All you have to do is say you're sorry. That's it. And you won't do it. Instead, you'll say, let's hug. And then it'll be over. It'll be over when you say you're sorry. Okay. So in my mind, I think I took that as her saying, I'm sorry. I think you're right. Okay. I think I'm just a crazy biatch who will not take anything as saying you're sorry, except you saying you're sorry. Like. Okay. I don't know. I feel like Jen Shaw might agree with me on that. No, I... Which is not to say it's a good thing. 100%. And, like, I don't disagree with you, but, like, in my mind, I was like, oh, Mary's apologizing. Like, she's just trying to make it go away. I agree that she's trying to make it go away, but she's, like, not willing to take any... But she's not taking accountability.

50:52 Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. Okay, moving on then. When he talks to Lisa about the bartenders that Lisa gifted for the vow renewal where they serve Vita tequila and Lisa. Like, I guess Lisa gifted the Vita tequila to be and hired the bartender and hired, I guess, one of the bartenders. Right. No, I'm pretty sure she like provided the tequila and the bartender. Oh, I thought she had. I thought they'll. OK, I see. I was a little unclear on that. Yeah, because Whitney's complaining about how the bartenders behaved, like they drank too much or whatever. And so that's what made me believe Lisa like gifted her the service of the bartenders along with the tequila. Right. OK.

51:40 OK. And here's here's the thing that I that I saw was that. Lisa was incredibly generous. Like in my mind, she gave probably a case of Vita tequila. Like do I, do I think it was enough for 500 people? I don't know. But like, I think if you send a bottle of tequila, that's, that's generous. Like whatever. 100%. I agree. I felt like Whitney was a little misunderstood in this circumstance though, because I felt like they were both coming from the same place. Funny enough. Lisa was like, Please don't talk shit about my tequila. You're going to harm my brand. Whitney is saying, don't hire these bartenders. They're harming your brand. So I think if it were brought up off camera, it probably would have gone a completely different way. I think they were both trying to protect Vita Tequila in that circumstance, because I don't see. I don't think I. I at least did not pick up on any malice coming from Whitney.

52:50 OK, so this is the interesting thing about Whitney. Do I think that she was going out of her way to to talk to speak negatively or present Vita Tequila in a negative light? No. Do I think that Whitney always thinks before she speaks? Absolutely not. No. And she definitely shouldn't have brought this up on camera. You shouldn't have said anything about any type of gift, let alone anyone's brand on camera. Right. However, I feel like she forgets the cameras are there sometimes and just lets it roll. Because I think what we're getting with Whitney is incredibly authentic. A hundred percent.

53:32 The thing that I struggle with, though, was where the conversation went, where. She she said, oh, well, like they were wasted. OK, like whatever. I don't I don't think the bartenders were related to her brand at all. I think that Lisa could have had any conversation with Whitney and Lisa would have become defensive and like brought it back to her business because Vita Tequila was involved in this scenario. One hundred percent. I'll give Lisa that. And also Whitney never just out and said, maybe don't hire those bartenders anymore. Right. Which she could have done. But I felt like that was her point. She just never said that outright. Whitney has a hard time making her point sometimes. Like you'll see this as like as she's trying to find her voice in later seasons. Like this does become a recurring theme with her. The issue that I had, though, was like Lisa brings up like, oh, well, I like we they they got into Justin's top shelf tequila. And Lisa goes, well, our tequila is top shelf. And then Whitney comes back with. Well, you know, what's funny is we ran out of your tequila at like 6 p .m. And like the way that I would have been like, bitch, you shouldn't have gotten anything.

54:41 You shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have said that. I felt like it all. This happens a lot in Housewives, to be fair. It all like becomes this miscommunication jungle where it gets like so much bigger than it ever needed to be. Right. And that's exactly what I think happened here. I had a hard time with Whitney saying that because I'm just like, oh, you were fine. And like, because if if she wouldn't have said the thing about, oh, we ran out of your tequila, like whatever. And then in the confessional being like, well, like we it's the tequila you can't get in the United States, like whatever. Like, I thought that was a weird like it's tequila. It's all it's all made from the agave plant. Like, oh, my God. But yeah, I mean, I know some people really do care about that. But like you're in Utah, you guys barely drink. Like, it's cool.

55:32 And then Lisa gets triggered because she feels like it's all coming back to her brand. And I understand that. Yeah, I do understand that side, too, where it's like, I don't want you to say this is like what happened on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives with the Jay -Z style stuff. It's like you should not say anything, even hinting towards a negative about your friend's brand on TV. Right. I'll stand 10 toes down on that. 100%. Unless your friend is, like, dropshipping or doing something really... Oh, that actually comes up later. Or doing something really, I mean, really horrible. You really need to, like, just support them. Right. Anyway. But, like, so the party ends by Lisa storming out of the house saying, I don't want Trash telling me something's not good. that's where I'm like oh my god Whitney if you just would have been cool I would have been on Whitney's side entirely about this cause like that is this this does come up where Lisa does treat Heather and Whitney differently than she treats everyone else like full stop you can tell she doesn't want them there you can tell she does not fucking like them yeah I I feel like there's something to that story that At least where I am in Salt Lake City, we never really get to the bottom of. Like Heather has some dirt on her or something. I don't know that it's dirt. I think what it is, because I have seen this play out in the church, like where you have born again Christians and then you have

57:05 people who are. like me not religious and it is you're looked down on as a different class of person and do you think lisa would do that lisa is very very into mormonism which if she wants to be i support her in that and like you hear a lot about like it's just surprising to me because she grew up jewish so it's like it's like i thought she would kind of have like a more objective No, no. No. When someone converts from a religion to a religion, like what you typically see is like they are all in like. Yeah. All I guess you do really see that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, the next day, the Shasha, the Shaw squad is cleaning up Jen's house and Whitney's working out and gets into the back. She's had a stripper pole and every house. And isn't it crazy that a born and raised Mormon has a stripper pole?

58:00 Ha ha ha ha. I hate that. I hated that. If you really look at it for what it is, it's a piece of exercise equipment. Yes, it's used to be a stripper and be hot and sexy. In your house, that's exercise. I hate the like... I don't know. I hate that because it feels kind of like pick me where it's like, isn't this crazy that I have this? I don't know why that bothered me so much. I don't know. I'm not like other Mormons. Yeah. I'm a cool Mormon. Um, we go over to Lisa and John's house and John seems like a really, really good husband. I feel like, but he seems wildly uncomfortable on camera. Yeah. I think that's all it is. Cause he does. All he talks about is how much he supports Lisa. He's like, I love that woman. I'll let her do whatever she wants.

58:53 I'll support any business she wants to do. He's also hot. Yeah. But he's awkward. He's so hot. yeah just awkward and like oh he seems like a little unsure of himself on camera that's it probably yeah and like duh can you imagine like i think what he probably feels uncomfortable with is like the the mormon church has never been great about like propping up women and like i think he probably feels uncomfortable about how the world and like by extension like the people in his life are going to view his marriage because like Lisa is like Lisa runs the show well yeah but he's like and yeah maybe he hasn't been as open about how much he supports that like outside of the show you know what I mean right but I love that for him he's like he's like a husband he's a great husband yeah let her do what she wants I also love that he's not like these mormon husbands that we see a lot that are like you need to cook and you need to clean and you need to do this and this and this on top of all of your businesses oh that's not just mormon no it's certainly not but that's like the highest concentration i've seen oh sure yeah and it's like i'm glad he's not like that at all he's like i guess we'll figure out what we're doing together talk about yeah love i love that if i ever get married like i i truly want

1:00:24 a Like John and Lisa have, because they just seem like they really love each other. I would get married to the both of them. Heather's out shopping for ski boots with Whitney and they unpacked the birthday party. Heather says she didn't have any fun and her feelings were hurt by Lisa and. Shocking. Yeah. Like Lisa called Whitney after the. Oh, this. Yeah. So Lisa called Whitney after the party and like threatened to use rumors about Whitney being a swinger against her. Yeah. Heather gets into and this is kind of what I was saying earlier. Heather gets into how Lisa feels like she's superior to the other girls and she feels like that gives her the right to call out what she believes is morally deficient behavior. Yeah. And I do see that to some extent where she's like kind of holier than thou and like a little judgy perhaps. I still love Lisa.

1:01:20 I don't get it. She's. She does come across a little bit judgmental. I also feel like, for some reason, the girls have particularly thin skin when it comes to her. Like, everything Lisa says just makes them bleed. I think that's probably rooted. In the amount of money Lisa has. Yeah, maybe. And, like, she's very successful in her life. Very successful. And I don't think it's a jealousy thing. I think it's just more like you want the validation. Right. From her and you're not getting that. But, like, I don't know.

1:02:00 Just, like, let it roll off your back. Well, so this is why I think Salt Lake City is such an interesting housewife city. Not until season four, do we do we bring someone on who doesn't have real money? Because like all of the women have. Oh, yeah. Significant amounts of wealth. Right. And so the stakes are gone there. And like so it's like who's more successful, who's less successful comes into play a little bit like this. Like this does come up in. season two or three where Lisa flat out says, I'm richer than everyone here. I don't need to be here.

1:02:45 Like she those words come out of her mouth. But what we are finding is like, OK, so like where do the stakes come from? And it's it's actually how these women feel about each other. I think that's I think it's this is what I love about this city. It's so interesting because I'm just like, oh, we're not fighting over. yeah the private jet we're not fighting over x y and z because like everyone's on the same playing field yeah i love it um then we go to whitney's and meet her dad oh yeah this was a lot so so dad's hair yeah whitney's dad is a recovering addict and his hair is box dyed black to the gods and standing on end do you know uh carrie from sexy unique podcast calls um calls whitney's dad steve he calls him diane warren because he looks like diane warren from three's company it is that very specific hair I don't know if it's because he used to be a hairstylist. Yeah. Yeah. Was really successful. Very successful. Fell into drugs. Yeah. And then his entire life fell apart, which is a story I've seen firsthand. Like, I

1:04:19 know how this impacts people. So I know what Whitney is going through. I was going to make the point he understands an emotional change of the hair. Oh, yeah. So I think that's what we're witnessing is he is constantly in his hair. Yes. Meredith and Seth go to dinner after we after we get done with the scene with with Whitney's dad. In contrast to John Barlow. Seth seems very comfortable on camera. You can tell that man loves attention. He's like, I am here. He loves it. I have arrived. And so we jump into and I don't know if they we didn't know that much before this. No, this is where you find out they're separated. OK, and like it makes me feel like the editing was weird in the first season because like this this couldn't have been the way it was meant to be presented. Seth asked Meredith who all knows about them being separated. And that's how we're introduced to this topic. And then he asked Meredith if if she thinks their marriage is built to last. And I've seen conflicting things about this on the Internet. On one hand, I appreciate. And them being very open and honest about it. And yeah, because they could have hid it from the show. They could have hidden it from

1:05:50 the show. But then like you have people on the other side of that that are like, no, this they they were producing this for the show. Like this was their storyline. This is how Meredith got on the show. No, I think this is all very real. I think. Yeah, because you can tell there's real emotion and real thoughts that are being held back because they know they're on camera, especially when we get into the. The phone thing? Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. You can tell that Meredith is not saying everything she feels and you can tell she's very aware that she's on camera. Yes. And so I think it's very real. Right. And like this is something that I have found very interesting because you have two. Also, I know we said we were going to do two episodes today. Let's just do the one because I don't want to run into time.

1:06:34 I want to get into this a little bit. This is a good episode anyway. This was. You see, you have two real sets of women on Housewives like that. And Bethany Frankel has talked very openly about this, how there are women who come on the show as like to launch themselves into getting divorced. Like Jules Weinstein was one on Real Housewives of New York who. They say that she came on just to get divorced. And if you need a little check. Right. And I'm fine with that. I'm also fine with it. If you look at Tamara Judge and her ex -husband. in the back of the car, and I think it was season three or four, The Real Housewives of Orange County, where, like, he said something, and she looked him dead in the face in the back of this car, and she said, fuck you, I want a divorce. Like, and she has been very open about she didn't know the cameras were there when she was doing that. Yeah.

1:07:23 So I'm fine with both sides, both extremes on that side of the equation. What I think we have here, though, is these people knew their marriage was on the rocks coming into the show, and I think that they said, You're getting our real lives. You're getting our real lives. Yeah. I think that Meredith is mostly okay with sharing that. Right. And also Seth is spending a lot of time away anyway for work. You don't get into that yet, but like he is. And so I think that they knew that with all that time apart, they would be able to kind of. keep that off the show as much as they wanted to and share as much as they wanted to oh for sure you know because they're not like always in the house screaming at each other right it's not like that but and then we get into meredith sharing some of the backstory about how they got to where they are and she's very honest and i think this is like actually really good for people to hear where she goes nothing really triggered it we moved a lot there was a lot going on and we struggle with communication in our marriage and yeah we started to resent each other and like that's a very real thing and i'm glad that she shared it because it provides more context for later on in this season um with like when they start to disagree about something you can tell it's like how have you guys not talked about this yet you know there's just a breakdown in communication yeah and i'll buy that like every time we feel that that is the

1:08:53 first time they've ever talked to each other is on camera i feel like you can tell because like one of them is taken aback or one of them is like no like i don't know um yeah yeah like uh spoiler alert but they talk about moving i won't say where later on in the season and it's like so they're like in a car and it's so blatantly glaringly obvious that they haven't talked about this at all right well and it gets to be uncomfortable because you're like oh I'm not supposed to be hearing this conversation right but it's the same thing that we get into with like the phone thing where so Seth gets into the idea of like I'm so transparent like I you can look at my phone whenever you want and this I get both sides of this because there is there is a conversation around Meredith and maybe she like while they were split up, she was dating someone else. And I don't know where they were with that at this current juncture. But I do know that that does get weaponized against her and later in the season and then in season two and three. Right. And we'll get into it later. But basically, the point that is being made right now is Meredith is like, I don't want to check your phone and I don't want you to check mine. Right. And I can get where, like, she's very like, that's weird to

1:10:27 me. I don't want to do that. But at the same time, I'm like. If it's that big of a deal, just give them the fucking phone if there's nothing in there to find. I get both sides of it, so I don't know what the right answer is, but I do feel uncomfortable with the fact that they're at a restaurant in Salt Lake City at a very nice restaurant and Seth is like, let me see your phone, let me see your phone, let me see your phone. Yeah, and it gets tense. I will say in practice, I align more with Meredith. It does feel like a huge invasion of privacy. To give someone your phone. Like. Because. I don't know. Like me and Kenny. Like they're. Obviously I'm not cheating on Kenny. I'm carrying his child.

1:11:10 Right. But like. I don't want to see his. I don't want him to have to see my text complaining about him. That's like, I should have the right to vent about him and him not have to see that. Well, that's not what Seth was looking for. No, I know. But it's like, you don't know what he'll come across. And it's like, it's not always cheating or malice. Sometimes it's just like stuff you wanted to keep private. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I don't know. And I wouldn't want to see what's going on in Kenny's group message with his friends. You know what I mean? I would rather be ignorant to that. Sure. So it's like I typically would fall in with Meredith. However, when your relationship is on the rocks and you're worried about someone being unfaithful, you're worried about them in general. I feel like if your partner asked for your phone, you pretty much should like. Just give them the phone. Yeah. And that's just how I feel about it. I don't like like I'm not going to ever just take someone's phone and look through it for funsies. No. But like if Kenny were like, OK, I feel a little sus about something. Can I just look at your phone? I would give him my phone. I don't know. It's hard. It was hard.

1:12:32 And like, but again. I think this was a very real conversation and like when we got to the point of like Meredith being like let's talk about fun stuff like let's like I was like oh she knows she's on camera and she's and this is the first time they're having this conversation yeah Yeah. Well, I can tell, I think they had talked about the phone thing before, but like, I feel like Seth just kind of let it go. And now he had gotten to a point where it's like, why won't you let me see it? Yeah. Right. And I haven't really like reached that peak yet. Right. But I don't think they're producing that for the show at all. I think this is like, oh, this is all very real feelings. No. Yeah. I felt the same way. Cause like the way they're feeling is very real. And I, But I also understand Meredith being, like, once you know that Seth is, like, never around, I do understand her being, like, can we talk about something late? Oh, yeah. Can we talk about something good? Like, use our time together well. Right. Type of thing. I understand.

1:13:35 It's such a hard relationship to get into because, like, both sides have a stand. Yeah. And here's the thing. Spoiler alert. They work out. Yeah. And I'm. I love Seth. I love Seth and Meredith together as much as I love Lisa and John together. Yeah, I think they're really good for each other. I feel like Seth is a let it all out type of guy and Meredith likes to keep a lot of stuff kind of stuff down. Yeah, I think it's a weird but good balance. Yeah, I feel like he allows her to be a bit more free with her emotions and what she shares. She shows up to be inappropriate adult. Speaking of being an appropriate adult, we go to Heather's ski day. God, the girls, the girls all show up at the ski lodge. But Mary is. significantly late because she was waiting for a chanel coat to show up so she could wear it to ski and she explains that this is because she prefers to wear brands that don't give you a wedgie and chanel is just one of those brands of course of course like do you know the does the north face give you a wedgie also you're tiny what are you talking about wedgie oh my god i don't i don't know um Whitney, Heather and Meredith, Meredith all go ski in the real mountain. Lisa, Jen and Mary stick to the bunny hill. But we get a flashback to this. I I also

1:15:08 hate these scenes that are like clearly set up for the show. We get a flashback of Jen getting a ski lesson from the Shaw squad where she was like running around like on the on the rollerblades. It's like. Go down that hill or whatever they were saying. I hate that. Like that. Yeah. Sometimes they're funny. I think when Giselle does those scenes, they tend to be hilarious. Maybe it's the execution. Yeah. Yeah. With Jen. Jen Shaw. Is a lot of things. She's not an actress. No. No, no, no. You can tell when things are disingenuous or they told her to do something. And it's very uncomfortable. Yes. But I do feel like some people are really good at pulling it off. Yeah. Giselle.

1:15:56 And also there's one other one that I've been like, oh, that was cute. From Potomac. Monique. yeah yeah where it was the it was the binders and like the whole like she was pretending to be a sleeve like i she the one where she's like very clearly pretending for the show yes yeah and it's like those are fine i think those are funny but like yeah some of them are very uncomfortable yeah karen huger oh no please stop please um at the top of the mountain whitney and heather unpacked their feelings about lisa and whitney says she's She's known Lisa for a few years, but they have a hard time communicating still.

1:16:36 And we get a flashback to Lisa telling Meredith that they need to do a little styling for Whitney. And Whitney goes, well, what's wrong with my style? And the example of them having a hard time communicating is Lisa going, well, your style's a little Utah. And you and I have said shit like this to people in real life. And I'm like, it's a joke. Like, yeah, but. I also think Lisa takes anything lightly either. So it's like and like when if we say something like that, it's like we're very clearly joking. And like we I don't think we would ever say to someone that we actually like look down on and hate. And like if I genuinely felt that way, I wouldn't say it. Do you know what I mean? Like if your style genuinely is a little Utah, I'm not saying that out loud. No, no, I don't know. And then...

1:17:32 I do get the vibe. This is a hot take. I do get the vibe that a couple of them are a little bit jealous of Miss Whitney and how young she is and how beautiful her face is. And that's where I'll leave that. Okay, so this is a common phenomenon, too, on Real Housewives. We're like... The young hot girl is ganged up on and like because it was actually too. We saw it with Ashley Darby. We've seen it with. Oh, God, the the the the doctor. What is the. In Miami, the the anesthesiologist, the one that Larsa hated. The rich doctor, she was so hot and we saw it with. Stephanie Holman in Dallas. Like this is a real phenomenon. I do see that for Whitney a little bit. Yes. I'll buy that. That's a thing. Meredith feels like Lisa is trying to be a big sister to Whitney.

1:18:32 And since it's Whitney takes that to be condescending. And I see where Meredith is coming from a little bit. Cause I think she, I think Meredith at the end of the day does assume positive intent from most people. Especially Lisa because they're friends. They're best friends. Yeah. And. So Whitney also talks about how she feels like Lisa is threatening to use rumors against her, but then immediately turns around and says she doesn't care what people think about her. And I'm just like, OK, if you're a swinger, as she calls it, because I hate the way she like leans into the G. So, yeah, if you're a swing, it's a little weird, like in general. I don't know. oh yeah it's like the fillings and the hilling and like the like but i think that's a utah thing if i'm being honest it's almost like the california girls have like a valley accent it's yeah there's something in utah um but so we we finish that up and then everyone goes to dinner the women are three and a half hours late for their dinner reservation and i guess the restaurant's about to close The way that you've seen me be this person before. We're like, if people can't get their shit together and be on time for something, I turn into a demon monster. I hate it. And I don't know because it didn't always happen this way. I don't know when this happened, but it's like the new cool thing to be an hour late to everything. I hate that. It's not cute. You're not just a girl. You are wasting people's time.

1:19:59 You're wasting people's time. You're wasting people's time. I hate it. And it's the most rude and inconsiderate thing. Like, I'll buy if something came up and you're late for a reservation. Like, I can let it slide one time, like, whatever. No, but people make it their personality. They're late to everything. Yes. And, like, this was a knockdown drag out fight that, on the infamous Vegas trip, I had a knockdown drag out fight with the... The person who this trip was revolving around, because I was like, we're we're two and a half hours late for a dinner reservation. And it was the only thing on this trip that I cared about. And I was like crying over, like being late to Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant. I was like, what the fuck are we doing? And I was like, why can we not get our shit together to go to fucking dinner? I just don't understand it because it's like. If you found out the day of and like you got to get ready and you got to do all this stuff, then I understand. No, this was a reservation we had made three weeks in advance. Like when you know something has been in your calendar, even if it's just for a few days, you knew this was coming up and you decided not to plan for it, which shows a lack of consideration on your part. Yes. That is how I feel. Right. You are inconsiderate and you're selfish and I'm willing to go that far. Yeah. And I'm late to stuff.

1:21:16 Okay. I am. I can be 15 minutes late occasionally. Sure. But it's almost always Jack. Right. Almost every time. But that's the thing is like. Your excuse is, I was getting ready. Like, I hate it. I hate that. I was so mad. Like, I see those posts on Twitter and on TikTok where, like, my dinner reservation is at 6, me at 5 .59, and they're, like, getting into the shower or whatever, and they're, like, a cute little hamster with a bow on their head. It's infuriating to me. What do you mean? Anyway, the restaurant still seats them, whatever. So Whitney starts to talk about how she feels judged by Lisa and she dances around the word swinger because she feels like if that comes into the conversation, the conversation starts to revolve around whether or not she's a swinger. And here's my thing. If Whitney's a swinger. Whitney. What? You said Wendy. Oh, I'm sorry. If Whitney's a swinger. I want Whitney to be a swinger. I think Whitney and Justin are an incredibly hot couple. And I think if there's love to share, I'll share it. That's beautiful.

1:22:24 And also, can we talk about she's the only one who has brought this to light on the show. She said Lisa threatened to use it against her on camera. Right. She never said it on camera. She's probably not going to use it against you because it doesn't seem like she has a lot of evidence. And you're the one. You're the only one that's ever said swinger. Like, why are you doing that? Anyway. But yeah, like it's I don't care if anyone's a swinger. I want you to swing. But like, it feels like. No, it's not even about that. It's just like. It feels like we're. Talking about a little too much. Right. Are you advertising?

1:23:05 Right. And by the way, I'll sign right up. Yeah. You're hot. Your husband is hot. They're so hot. And like for a husband that's he's almost 20 years older than Whitney. Like Justin's hot. And he's like the most kind, gentle soul on the show. I want to hug him. I just want to hug from him. He just seems so cute. Anyway. So Lisa says she doesn't judge Whitney because she doesn't care enough to judge Whitney. And I thought that was the most cunt thing anyone could ever say. I loved that. Yeah, but it felt like it was just pure venom. Like she doesn't actually mean that. She was just. Oh, I think she absolutely meant it. I don't think so. I think she has some weird reason she does not want to be associated with her or Heather. And that in itself means you care about her a little too much. She's living rent free in your head. That's fair. Heather says she doesn't feel like there's been loving kindness between her and Lisa. And Lisa says her intent is always good and she's OK with how the group perceives her. Yeah, she seems like she went into this dinner. If she were a porcupine, all of her quills are up. Yes. It also feels like she went to media training because like if you hear how she like markets, I mean, she owns a marketing company. So like she's marketing herself as. I'm a good person. And you know I'm a good person. And I don't think Lisa Barlow is a bad person. Let me just say that. I'll go

1:24:35 on record saying that. I just said last episode that she's my favorite on the show. Yes. I love her. But it feels like she's trying to convince other people that she's good. And why? I don't know. It's a weird dichotomy that we're seeing here. She's being very defensive for no reason. That's the word, yes. And you know what it kind of gives? What? Not as bad, and I don't hate her for it nearly as much. She's ultra defensive, just like Demi on the last season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Yes, she is. Just like, you can't say anything to her without her being like, ah! But what you will see, and this is what...

1:25:16 really starts to bother me about lisa barlow is like she does the same thing dimmy does is she gets loud like she's it's like if we're fighting whoever is the loudest wins right and that i'm just like you've lost the plot babe i also don't feel like she goes into these conversations with the intent of solving anything no no because she's right Right. As far as she's concerned, she is correct. She wants to prove to the other girl and America that she is correct. She's not going into these conversations being like, I want to fix our relationship or anything like that. And that does bother me. Because you see it big time once we get to the reunion of this season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I'll tell you, it gets worse next season. Yeah. It gets real bad next season. Yeah. I've started season two. I just, yeah. I don't know why she's like that. I don't either. I loved her before she started the whole show. I would love to be friends with Lisa Barlow. Like, let me just tell you right now, I would love to be friends with Lisa Barlow. I think she's probably one of the most incredibly generous people out there. I think she's probably so fun to be around. And I think she's probably incredibly funny on and off camera sometimes. I just wish she knew that she was likable without having to yell about it. Yeah, like because it seems like she's trying to prove something. Right. Right. Yeah. It's like I wish

1:26:49 you understood that you are so much more likable when you are chill. Yeah. But then to close out the dinner, we get into a text thread where Lisa sent a thumbs up emoji to Lisa and Lisa interpreted it as a fuck you. You said Lisa sent a thumbs up to Lisa. No. Heather sent a thumbs up to Lisa and Lisa interpreted it as a fuck you. Did I not write that? No, that's what you wrote. But what you said out loud was Lisa sent. Oh, I'm sorry. OK, sorry. Heather sent a thumbs up emoji to Lisa and Lisa interpreted it as a fuck you.

1:27:31 and this is a this is a gen z thing that i've i've had fights with one of my cousins about this where i'm just like that's that's not what it means it just means okay whatever and like can it be seen as like whatever jesus christ it's a it's a fucking emoji i feel like it has the same energy of saying k sure like that's what it is the gen z version of is like like i don't know especially if you say something like emotional or apologetic or something like that and instead of having anything thoughtful to say you react to it with a thumbs up that is a little bit like shady sure but then we get into fighting about an emoji and lisa literally says out loud don't diminish the thumbs up jesus christ yeah it's the drama i do feel like it probably took lisa a lot to like send that text in the first place and that's why she wanted like an honest answer and i'll give her that but like take the answer you're given lisa Just be like, if anything, be like, I wish you would have accepted my apology. I wish we could have talked that out and then drop it. Right. But then here here again with Heather, it's how we started the episode. It's how we're ending the episode. Heather's like, that's not what it meant.

1:28:51 That's not what it meant at all. She gets into a confessional. And again, I love Heather Gay. I wish I wish I had a mom like Heather Gay. I think it's so funny when she does this, but it is messy as fuck. Exactly. Where the producer goes. the thumbs up emoji and Heather goes it was absolutely a fuck you oh my god Heather there's something to be said for like trying to calm the situation at hand and being like, it's just a thumbs up. Don't, don't freak out. It's gaslighting. What she's doing is gaslighting. Yes, she is gaslighting. And I understand. It's just so funny.

1:29:34 So I'll ask the same question. She does that so many times this season. She does it the entire series. Every time she talks to Jen, she says something to Jen and then she turns around and she's like, it's an honor to be your friend. It's okay. It's like, Hey, pretty bird. Like it's like, it's very bad. And then it's just out of her fucking mind. So I asked the same question last week. About who you'd want to be friends with from this cast. Has that has that answer changed this week? So. I still will stand behind Lisa Barlow, I think, because at this point in the show, she is my favorite. OK. However, she is on thin ice for me after this episode.

1:30:22 OK. I was still 10 toes down for her the first time I watched this, though. I was like, yeah. I still like you. Yeah. This was the first episode I remember watching where I started getting hard eyes for Whitney, though. OK. I just think. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Who would you be? Heather or Lisa? Yeah. I don't think I really got on the Heather Gay train until later in this season when she starts talking about some heavier stuff. And I was like, oh, I really like you. Yeah. I think. my favorite moments with heather are where she's just being the best mom on god's green earth i'm like oh this is where you really shine because like you yeah even if you're a little bit messy even if there's some problematic stuff with like your how you're separating from the church and like you're processing some of that even with all of that you are still the best mom on god's green earth and that's not to say that anyone's less of a good mom because i think This show is nothing but good mothers.

1:31:27 Heather is an incredible mom, though. Yeah, I think she just really gets it. And I yeah, I'll talk about her more later in this season. I actually really, really love Heather Gay. Like would take a bullet for Heather Gay. But I don't think you really see it until later in the season. Like after this episode, I was kind of like. she's messy i think that's what i liked about her yeah no i love that she has that side to her she's like very real i think to generalize her as a person she is so amazing like she is such so real and like outstanding from the rest of the cast for sure well dear listener that brings us to the end of another episode of bestie approved um from indie to where do we get new listeners argentina australia everywhere we love you we're so happy you're here like us rate us comment share us with your messiest friend send me an email love you love you