fast fashion, endless ads, and a bathtub splash.

0:06 Hi, I'm Travis and I'm Taylor and this is bestie approved. Hello. What's the last song you listened to? My last song was At the Beach in Every Life by Gigi Perez. I've been listening to my like replay 25 on Apple Music and her album was my top album of the year. And so I've been shuffling my replay playlist and she was the last one i listened to cute yeah she's great uh mine was happened or the steve aoki remix of happen to me by russell dickerson interesting do you know the song that's like don't know what happened last night don't know what happened last week she gonna hang on i know you've heard this song you think so it's been all over tiktok forever I'm almost positive that your TikTok is very different from my TikTok. OK. I believe that I've got something crazy going on on my TikTok that you may not relate to. Probably not. Right.

1:10 That's OK. That is OK. I love it for you. What's on our list this week? We we had a list this week. We sure did. Here we go. I think first on the list is Fruity Pebbles. How do you feel about that? I. First of all, was so proud to go onto my Instagram and start watching everybody's stories and just seeing that happen in real time. But I was also confused because I had just finished season three where everybody made up. But I've got lots of things to say. I hate to be a pro Demi person, but. More power to her. I wish that my pee tasted like fruity pebbles. I'll tell you that. So here's the thing about that around like a talent. I don't care about the act like that is the last thing I care about. The thing I take issue with is did you see the story about like so Whitney Leavitt was on. I was the I don't think it was the vile files, but it was one a podcast like that where she was explaining. Like she said, can I tell this story? And Demi said yes. And then turned around and like. Like talked about how bad it hurt her. So like gaslit Whitney into like telling the story and then used it as a storyline against Whitney. Wait, that's the issue I have. I need you to. I'm confused about what you just said. So Whitney went on

2:40 the podcast. So Whitney went on the podcast and explained that when they were filming season one of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, that this was apparently something they all knew about. And they like Whitney said, hey, can can I tell this story like it'll be funny, whatever. Like and that's where like the bag of fruity pebbles came from in season one. And then. uh dimmy was like it's so hurtful like whatever like i don't remember like the exact like parameters of the story but i do know that like witty thought it was like free game and dimmy led her to believe that because dimmy is a little demon monster right that being said i don't care about the act like i think the act like far be it for me to kink shame i think that's totally fine like if you're two consenting adults god bless more power to you yeah I do have a problem that Jesse went as far as to be so angry that she let all she aired all that out on Instagram. If that wasn't something that was well known, because I'll tell you, I didn't know what Fruity Pebbles was. Right. So I do. I am usually pro Jesse, but I'm like, that was a little bit messy that she went and did that. I get where you're coming from with that. Jesse can do absolutely no wrong in my eyes, though. Like, I feel like. Because the thing about Jesse right now is she is being attacked on a level that like is. Surpasses understanding.

4:12 Yeah. And Demi has been at the forefront of that. Yes. So. I mean, that whole season three was crazy to follow. Right. And I loved every second of it. Yes. And I was really surprised when. Near the end of the season, they all kind of made up and stuff. But obviously it was either fake or short lived because now there's all this drama between Demi and Jesse again. And I just keep going back and forth on their stories. I think the problem that you have there is is Jesse is someone who I believe if she says she forgives someone, she's done is over. Right. I think Demi, however, is. She she is not matured emotionally whatsoever. So I think the issue she's running into is she says she forgives and then she can't get past it because it was the same thing with Taylor. It's the same thing with with Jen. It's the same thing with. I don't think she was ever fighting with Whitney, but I mean, it's the same thing with all of them where she cannot get out of her own way, which is not great. But for sure.

5:21 Here we are. Yeah. Yeah. I. I again hate to be a pro Demi person, but I love that she's been joking about it on her story and just really riding that train. It's like if if I'm going to be made fun of for it, here's here's some more fuel to the fire. I will give her that. Like if you're she's having a fun time with it. Yeah. If it's going to be something that's out there, let it be out there. It is what it is. With that being said, I am still anti Demi and pro Jesse. Yes. Unless I unless there's things that I don't know. There's nothing you don't know. Right. I know too much. I think the problem with these girls, I was talking to someone about that. I was I was husband's watching Alice Wives yesterday. I I think the problem it's not the problem with these girls. Like, I think the true fact of the matter with these girls is what you see is what you get. Like, I don't believe Taylor Frankie Paul has a Hulu subscription. I believe like she does not edit who she is at all whatsoever.

6:17 I believe like what we're seeing is is very real. The only two I wouldn't say that about are Demi and Whitney. Because I think we're getting everything with the rest of them. Yeah. Maybe Jen. But I think Jen has gotten better. I think Jen was just going through a really hard time. But yeah, the rest of them, I think we know everything. For sure. Yeah. That was a really fun thing. That really spiced up my week this week. I'm happy. I'm really happy. Have you seen how much 50 Cent hates P. Diddy? I have. I saw that on the notes and I literally have no clue what you're talking about. I need you to unpack for me. 50 Cent. You know who 50 Cent is? A rapper. Yes, a rapper. I don't listen to his stuff or ever have, but I know he's there. He had a lot out recently. He was super big when I was in like middle and high school. Right. And he. I don't know what the interaction was 10 years ago, but Diddy said something to 50 Cent 10 years ago that 50 Cent responded with, I will start collecting information about you now. Like and for 10 years, he was gathering information and he released a documentary on Netflix or I think it was Netflix.

7:41 I'm pretty sure it was Netflix that about like there's like an unfiltered Like a previously unheard confession to something. There's a lot of information about the freak officers, like footage that no one's ever seen before. So there's a lot in there. And 50 Cent is doing interviews. Number one, he said, I will only do interviews with channels that are available in prison because I want Diddy to see this. Two, watching him. In these interviews is like watching a kid on Christmas where they I think the interviewer asked 50 Cent where he was like, what do you what do you think that he's going to say when he sees this? And he just is smiling from ear to ear. And he goes, I think he he's going to think it's the best or the best documentary he's ever seen. And it is it is so good because like 50 Cent is someone who. I think a lot of parents growing like I mean, when I was growing up, like a lot of parents were like, I don't want my kid listening to 50 Cent. And like looking back on it. Yeah, it was his music was pretty explicit.

8:58 Like it is what it is. But like it's like now he's doing the right thing. And like I'm like looking back on I'm like, I would let my kid listen to 50 Cent. Like now you're putting all your eggs in the 50 Cent basket. You're like, well, now we're going to listen to his whole discography. Yeah. Hi, everyone. This is JJ, the co -founder of GoodPods. If you haven't heard of it yet, GoodPods is like Goodreads or Instagram, but for podcasts. It's new, it's social, it's different, and it's growing really fast. There are more than 2 million podcasts, and we know that it is impossible to figure out what to listen to. On GoodPods, you follow your friends and podcasters to see what they like. That is the number one way to discover new shows and episodes.

9:40 You can find GoodPods on the web or download the app. Happy listening. Yeah, you mentioned when we were talking earlier about when we were doing the What's Your Last Song, you mentioned your Apple Music replay. So what's on your 2025 replay? Well, how do we want to get down with this? Like our top artists, our top songs? However you want. Now, dear listener, please listen in on the fact that I have The same artist, singular artist ever since 2022, when I've actually followed my replay playlists and all that. I've always, always, always had Lizzie McAlpine in my top artist. I don't know who that is. She's perfect, beautiful, special and amazing. She was my. Top song, top artist, top album in 2022 and I think in 2024. And she is my top artist of 2025. Love, love, love, love. Although I would like to compare minutes with you because I feel like I do not like minutes in place because I feel like mine is very low compared to other people, even though I feel like I'm listening to music every day.

10:56 So like go to your top artist. And tell me two things, who it is and how many minutes you listened to that artist. Kesha for 623 minutes. Oh, OK, fine. Because mine is obviously Lizzie McAlpine. OK. And I've listened to her for 1900 minutes. What? I thought that was low compared to other people. I thought it was really low. OK, so who's your number two? Is it like a significant drop in time? Um, not necessarily. No, it's Leve and she's 1600. OK, so mine's Diplo and it's 330 and then Lady Gaga at 323. Kylie Minogue. My Apple music is basically calling me the F slur.

11:37 Kylie Minogue at 277 minutes. Orville Peck at 273. I love Orville Peck. I that Midnight Ride song. Are you kidding me? Incredible. Such a good song with him and Kylie Minogue. And his voice is just so young. And Diplo, by the way. He's like that song covers like. Three of my top five artists. Yeah. Well, what about look at your top song? How many plays do you have on your top song? It's Midnight Ride at 83 plays. OK, because mine is Savannah by Jensen McRae. And I have 64 plays of that, which I'm kind of surprised that it's that little. But I would have thought I had more. Midnight Red, because I listened to that song like 9000 times. Yeah.

12:25 Attention is on there. Hot and Sexy by Zara Larson is on there. Kesha was my top artist four months in a row, though. That was really good. I believe that. I believe that. And I also love it. My even though I don't perceive my music to be very alternative, I'm not somebody that's like, oh, yeah, I listen to alternative. My top genre is alternative. A lot of the people that I have, I guess, are considered alternative, which honestly kind of makes me feel kind of cool. Kind of makes me feel kind of cool. You're such a cool girl. I was talking. I was doing Hudson's Watching Housewives yesterday. And Scott's top genre was bedroom pop. Have you ever heard of that? No.

13:12 What is that? It's like pop that like is something that like sounds like it could have been created in someone's bedroom. I listen. I want to say, yeah, if he likes it, I love it. But I mean, that sounds like a really cool concept. And I and I love that that's his top genre. Yeah, I love that. I actually I think that's kind of cool. Did you do your YouTube replay from last year? I barely watched any YouTube, so I didn't even bother. But tell me about yours. Oh, let me pull it up here. Oh, while you pull it up, I will say I did get a comparison between my top song last year and my top song this year.

13:59 And I think that it was really adorable because my song from last year, it was called. I have to think about it for a second. So cut out all this thinking. I can't even think of it. So my top song last year was from Lizzie McAlpine. And it was basically a song about having such a hard time leaving a relationship that is so terrible and so toxic and so traumatic. And but, you know, you have to do it. You don't know how to do it. And this year's song is Savannah by Jensen McRae, which is basically like you were.

14:49 a monster and I hate you and I have such a beautiful life now and I'm moving on and I'm having everything I want. And I think that that's such a beautiful comparison, especially considering the way my life has been the past couple of years and like leaving my previous relationship and being in this new one. And I have. Not just in this relationship, but being home and having all my friends and all my family, like I truly and sincerely have everything I could ever want and need. And I think that that's really cool to have seen that transition and that progress through my top songs. That's beautiful, isn't it? So I went back to 2024 in my my Apple Music replay before we get into my YouTube replay. Yeah. I listened to Beyonce for two thousand one hundred seventy two minutes in twenty twenty four. So maybe like my like what I thought was like a lot of skewed because I thought like ten hours of Kesha feels like a lot. But really, it doesn't feel like that much now. Yeah, for sure. Apparently, I listened to heated one hundred and thirteen times in twenty twenty four. And and I wish you listened to it more. I probably should have. Well, I was talking to my sister about her Apple replay yesterday.

16:10 Her her listening to her top artist, it was Tate McRae. She's obsessed with Tate McRae. Of course she is. It was literally like four times more than my minutes. Why? Of my top artist. And I'm like, do you just do you just have headphones on 24 seven and are just listening? And she's just like, I just listen when I want. And I'm like. Is it 24 seven? I mean, it's it's a crit. So that's why I thought I had a very low amount of listening to my top things. I don't know. Do you know who else listens so much as your mother to music? Because so like I pay for all of our Apple music because we're all in the same Apple family. And. Emma is also on our Apple family, but she listens to Spotify. I don't know why, but God bless, she's allowed to. She can make whatever decision she wants. She can do no wrong. I just assumed that I was really the only person that used Apple Music in our family.

17:09 I was just paying for it. For yourself. I'm pretty sure it's the same price, whether it's me or whether it's everyone, because it's a shared subscription. um, Tanya calls me cause she gets a new phone and she's like, Hey, I don't, I don't know my Apple account password. And like, which is problematic. Cause it's like, that's whatever. That's either here or there. But she's like, I don't know what to do with that. My Apple music. And she's like, I'm leaving for Florida. I don't know. Yeah. It's just like having a full blown meltdown. And I was like, I'm so glad that people are getting used to it. Oh, for sure. And and I only use I don't know how you feel about Spotify versus Apple, but I am pro Apple. Like Spotify confuses me. Can I be so real with you? Spotify to me. If I it it feels like a college student thing versus Apple music feels like. grown up and more refined and i know fundamentally it's exactly this i think it's the color scheme like i think that's what it is for me because like the apps um the apps are i mean they're the the search functions are different and that's fine and like the um the like the back end of like how the music artists are paid is is pretty similar but like i i i don't i don't I don't think one's better than the other. I think it's just I just I feel like Spotify feels like it's for high schoolers and college students. Yeah, I feel

18:41 like it's all down to preference. And in some people, what I get confused about when it comes to Spotify is when I want to look up a song or look up an artist, I don't and I don't know if this has to do with a free version versus a paid version. But when I look up a specific song or a specific artist, it wants to give me things similar to it. Immediately. And I'm like, no, I want to listen to this song by this artist. Spotify has put a lot into the algorithm building, whereas Apple Music, I think, connects you to exactly what you want faster and builds off of what other people have listened to after that. Yes, because what I like about Apple is I'll find exactly what I'm looking for much faster, like you said. And if I want to go to like the.

19:32 Just like the home page and go through some of the playlists that it gives me. I trust the algorithm of the playlists that they're creating for me. I I listen to a lot of those playlists that Apple curates for me. But Spotify just dear listener, you know where I stand when it comes to Apple versus Spotify. And you can beat me in the comments about it. I don't care. But you said you don't watch YouTube. I. Do watch YouTube, but I've watched a lot, a lot, a lot less throughout the past like five years. And I only have a very I probably only subscribe to 20 different creators and I watch them whenever I want to. And sometimes that's like during lunch at school. And otherwise, it's very few and far between. So you tell me about your YouTube. I watched 719. So first of all, I didn't know that YouTube did a recap.

20:30 I think this is like a new thing for them. But I watched 719 channels this year. My number one channel was Sexy Unique Podcast. So Carrie and Laura, if you're listening, love you. I'm in the top 1 % of your viewers. I watched 175 of your videos this year. That's incredible. Have you listened to sexy podcast? No. I love them so much. I believe it. Like I base a lot of my personality on them. I think Laura and Gary are probably two of the funniest people on God's green earth. And then a fun fact for because they like break it up into like early 2025. You did this mid 2025. You learned about this late 2025. I learned about podcasting. You don't say.

21:15 I hope I learned something to your list. How do you how do you look it up? Because I think you just go to your on YouTube, go to like your profile. And I like it for it showed up like at the very top for me. But now it's gone because I think I've looked at it. I don't think it wants to show anything for me, which is kind of sad because I would be willing to because I have watched some stuff. But anyways. Well, I love. That you're learning about podcasting. Love. Thank God you do. Or else this would be a little difficult. Probably. Are we complaining? Yeah.

21:59 What are you complaining about today? I even have a new thing that's not on the list. Tell me. So I, my boyfriend and I have been doing a lot of selling on Facebook Marketplace. First problem. Okay. Second of all, second problem is I have a huge bone to pick with the people that want to converse with us and then just stop the conversation. And I'll let me actually tell you a specific. So last I would say this past Tuesday, I was talking to a woman. We'll call her Judy. Judy. We were talking to Judy and Judy wants some of my beaded bracelets so bad. I have real like gemstone beaded bracelets. I have like eight of them. Judy wants them for her granddaughter so bad, but she lives in Greenfield. So she was like, is there any way you can ship them to me?

22:57 And I'm like, oh, like, I'm sure it's easy to figure out, but I don't want to do shipping. Like, I just want to like pick up or meet up or whatever. So I was like, well, how do you feel about maybe meeting me in Fairland or close to Fairland? Because I visit my granny and papa sometimes. And she's like, yeah, let's absolutely do that. Let's meet off of this exit at five o 'clock. And I'm like, perfect. I'll do that. That was for today. Today, as we are recording, I was supposed to meet Judy at five o 'clock. What I do is I confirm the morning of. I say, hey. Just wanted to confirm and see if five o 'clock still works for you today, Judy. I got my bracelets for you, baby. I send her that nine o 'clock. No answer. I wait until about three o 'clock and I'm like, hey, I really want to confirm the plans before committing to them.

23:52 So please let me know when you can, if you're still interested. And to this moment, I still don't have a response from Judy. So imagine if I had just not confirmed and I just thought in my head, well, Judy said five o 'clock today. And then I went to this exit on this at this gas station and I waited for 10, 20, 30 minutes waiting for Judy to show up. And I think that's like we're all adults. Just if you're not going to meet me. If you're not going to meet me, tell me you changed your mind. I'm not going to be heard about it. But what I am heard about is if I go to meet you at a place in a at a location at a certain time and you don't show up, that's going to make me mad. And thankfully, I'm the kind of person that's like, well, if you're not confirming with me, I'm not going. So I didn't.

24:45 From my understanding. So I've sold. I've either sold or given something away on Facebook Marketplace like one time when I was moving out of Solana. And I don't remember if I sold it or gave it away because it's been years. But that, as far as I'm concerned, was a lovely transaction. It was like this Ikea like bookshelf thing that I was like, I don't feel like moving this. Like, it's fine, whatever. And then I think I ended up just like giving it to the guy when he like tried to pay me. And I was like, please just take it. But apparently my. scenario is very unique and that there were no issues and everyone was lovely and like there wasn't like something strange going on i like because from my understanding facebook marketplace is like the third circle of hell it feels like it i'm sorry like it sounds so miserable and awful it's so well i think that what makes it so miserable and awful is nobody knows how to act Nobody knows how to treat each other. It's the same problem with like customer service these days where like the customers are awful. The people are awful. The people selling are awful. And I just think it's crazy because if we have to use this technology to communicate back and forth and if you want an item from me, I would expect a response. And if it's just like a. Hey, is this still available? And I say, yes, are you interested? And then you never respond to me again. That's not going to hurt my feelings.

26:17 But like if we commit to a date and a time and I put you in my calendar and I put you in my planner and I'm expecting to shift my day around making sure that I'm at a mire in this town at this time, the least that you can do if you're not interested and be like, hey, just wanted to let you know, I'm not going to be buying this. It's so annoying. It is. I mean, I mean, First world problems, whatever. But it's still annoying, though. It's still valid that it's annoying. It is. And it's yeah. So that's one thing that I have to complain about. So you give me something to complain about. I am going to complain about the constant. tiktok ads that pop up for this one very like this is a trend with like new apps now that are only out there to steal your data but there is one in particular that's like it's called like truth seek or seek truth or something like that where it's like a girl in her car crying and this is every single video that is is advertising this out and it's like i i looked up his name and i found everything i didn't want to know and like i've blocked every single one of these accounts because they're i'm like it's there are like 9 000 of them i've blocked every single one of them and it just keeps coming up and like i've gotten to the point where like i've started reporting every one of these ads because i'm like at some point like i understand that like these it's this it's the same thing with meta

27:48 it's the same thing with instagram it's the same thing with uh twitter where if you're using the free version of twitter where you're not paying for the premium version if you're using instagram on any level if you're using tiktok it is harvesting your data and i understand that you're that's part of the game like i i get that and like i The ethics behind that, that's that's a conversation for another day. But like this truth seek thing, I feel like is a little more predatory because it's it's. It's like preying on the insecurities that people have in relationships. And it's like, well, what am I going to find out there? And you're not going to find anything like I want to I want to start here. You will not find anything because it's all behind. I'm assuming a paywall, just like all of these websites are where you type in a name and it's like I'm going to give you like. The first and last name, this person might be 27 years old. This person might live like in the zip code. Do you want to know more?

28:46 Pay for this. And then they get you on a subscription. You keep paying, paying, paying, paying. I have to tell you, I think that's so predatory and gross. But like the the back end of it is it's all harvesting your data. And I don't like I just keep blocking them. Yeah, I have a similar problem right now, but it's. Now, my problem is with TikTok shop because the constant ads that I'm getting. Well, I don't even know if they're ads at this point, but it's content creators advertising specific products that you can buy on TikTok shop. And I had the displeasure of having a momentary lapse of judgment when I saw this automatic screwdriver thing where it's like a screwdriver. I forget. I don't know what it's called. I know exactly what you're talking about.

29:39 I bought one. I bought it on Amazon, but go ahead. I was like, OK, I genuinely want that because with all this selling on Facebook marketplace, Todd and I have also been like replacing things that we sell with better things. And we had to build up. coffee table recently and my god i could not twist anything for the life of me it was so difficult i don't know if it was my nails or just like the tiny little like l -shaped thing that they always give you it's just too difficult it's called an allen wrench go ahead an ellen wrench allen allen wrench thank you um it was so difficult and i was like oh i would do anything for like an actual like drill or like that's exactly why i bought mine go ahead exactly so i was like i wonder how much that cost i did go to the tiktok shop link i clicked on it i saw that i saw the price i'm like maybe someday when i tell you i had eight videos in a row eight videos in a row one two three four five six seven eight of that ad with the screwdriver and a couple of them were different like different creators advertising it whatever i don't know i don't care i had it eight times in a row and i've had it every single time i've opened tiktok since then i get the same thing for there it's uh two things that i that i constantly get it for one because i've purchased it on the tiktok shop the bradley thorne candle or the thorne bradley you know who that is the guy that's always chopping wood No, but I love the idea of that. He's so hot. He's so beautiful. I love him. Thorne Bradley, if you're listening, love you. I bought his candle

31:12 and now all I get are like creators like advertising his candle. The other one is like this company called called Real Men's Apparel, where like it's underwear, like in the way they advertise it is very strange to me. But like, I'm glad we've moved away from this trend of like. They'll get on there like someone is definitely getting fired from this company because this deal is not supposed to be like whatever. Like, I'm so tired of hearing that. So, look, I'm glad we've gotten away from that. But like, I think this speaks to a larger problem that we're seeing on TikTok of like. I think the creator fund has like dried up a little bit. So like this is where a lot of creators are like finding revenue is because they can't. get it anywhere else I I don't know and I don't know that I care because like get your bag whatever but like it does get exhausting when you're like it is pushed to you constantly now I've only bought I think two things on TikTok shop before and that was years after it even became a thing because I knew from the moment that TikTok shop became a thing that I was gonna hate it that I hated all of the ads from TikTok shop and I'm telling you if there was If there was a way that I could pay for a premium subscription of TikTok where I never receive a TikTok shop ad again or some way that I never even have the TikTok shop option, I would

32:42 pay any dollar amount for it. So you say that, but like the issue you run into is like it's the Netflix model issue that you're running into where Netflix had for the longest time. if they didn't have a free version they had a version that was like dirt cheap and then you had a premium version and then you had like a premium plus version like whatever that iteration is and like they are not making enough money on the premium models to like support like the loss in ad revenue from the lower end model. So they keep raising the price of Netflix. And like I'm I'm going to tell you right now, that is the first thing that will happen to TikTok is like the price will keep increasing because like they're the the ad revenue that comes into TikTok is astonishing.

33:29 Like I believe it's and it's it's the same thing with like third party affiliates is where the views are enough to like support it and like. Because it's the same thing with with like YouTube or whatever, where like I pay for the premium version of YouTube for all of us. And if like I don't get ads because like I cannot handle the constant ads. But what Google has done very well is like they have not pushed the premium version so far, like so far to like compensate for the the loss in ad revenue. But on the Bestie approved YouTube, where I don't realize I'm logged into the Bestie approved one. The number of ads that I see pop up on there is so exhausting because it's I mean, it's like every 30 seconds. Yeah.

34:15 So I don't know what the answer is, but like I do know that like and you I think you put this in your complaint, like we've gotten so far into consumerism and capitalism that. It's like we can't find our way out. Uh huh. I need to find a way out because I'm also in this kind of. This space in my life where I'm trying to prioritize quality things over like a cheap priced thing. I like I'm trying to make sure that I don't wear any polyester anymore. I don't want to wear polyester. It's not good. It's itchy. It's bad. It's whatever.

34:59 It's terrible for the environment. It's terrible for the environment. So I'm trying to make. make room for things that are better material better quality and all these things and I that also leads into we have so much what is it called fast fashion oh Emma and I have talked about this like the first of all fast fashion is one of the worst things that ever happened to the environment but like also on the other side of that one of the worst things that could have happened to the fashion industry in general because like it's Like on one hand, it does make fashion more accessible. I will I will give I will give the concept that but like that's all I can give it is because I mean, like if you look at like some of these like garbage islands that are out like floating in the middle of the ocean, a lot of it is like clothes that were just never worn.

35:57 It's that bad. Yeah, it's it's just like like what you were talking about. Like we've gone. way too far and how are we supposed to get out of it like there's a million ads how am i supposed to escape it there's so much to buy and so much influence and and obviously like i'm a victim of it i get influenced all the time but i and there's just no solution to the problem i think there is a solution because you've seen what's going on with um oh what is this girl's name hang on it's like lily something Hang on. Jaclyn Hill. Have you seen what's going on with Jaclyn Hill right now on TikTok? I think I saw something recently. I saw one video where apparently her fans say that she's out of touch. Yes. OK, so the issue is, is like so she gets on and I mean, all of her content is. consumerism like and if that's if that's your thing great like I because I'm gonna be honest I'm probably one of the worst people about it like when it comes to shopping like and it's like your mom's bad about it our granny's bad about it our aunt Tina's really bad about like this is just how we're wired and like Bailey's probably she's gotten much better about it than like we have but like I think we all have to some degree um Like the consumerism

37:28 bug, right? Yeah. And that is what it is. And I personally do need to get better about that, too. But what the issue with Jaclyn Hill is, is like that's all her content is. It's like, look at my multimillion dollar house in Los Angeles. Look at this handbag that is as much as someone's salary in a year, for instance. Look at look at this 20 person dining table that I have with like custom wine bottles for everyone. And like it's. It's gotten to the point where I think she has like four million followers on TikTok and one of her recent videos got like 30 ,000 views. And she says, well, what am I doing wrong? What am I doing wrong? And like they're saying, I can't afford groceries right now. Like this is this is a big part of the problem. Right.

38:15 And like instead of saying, hey, I'm hearing you, I'm listening, which to be fair to her, I think she made a video a couple of days later saying, hey, I want to listen like I'm in a. better place to listen now but like in the beginning it was I'm that's not the problem the problem I do giveaways I talk about dupes all the time and I'm like babe like you gotta like if the call is coming from inside the house you gotta listen do you know so I think you're what you're what we're getting at here though is like you have to be mindful about like this this idea of consumerism because like what you're saying is is absolutely true like there has to be quality over like over cheap quantity but like it doesn't have to be expensive and it doesn't have to be um it doesn't have to be a louis vuitton duffel bag it like it can be like a really good underarm like you see what i'm saying it's like it doesn't all have to be like the brands brands brands brands brands that's i think the issue for sure i i wish that there was something clear and transparent worth of a solution to this kind of thing. And I think there's just so many variables to it that it just gets all muddled. And then, I mean, the whole consumerism concept is so overwhelming anyways. And so, you know what my solution is actually? My solution is throw my phone out into the ocean. Okay. That's step one. Step two is, um, Erasing any evidence that I was ever here

39:48 on this earth. That's step two. Step three is build a cottage in the woods and garden for my food and my resources. And just live in the woods. Live in the woods and garden and frolic. That's a very ethereal idea that I think you could pull off that I know I couldn't. Sure. Do you know what I do believe, though? Yes, what? What would be fun for like two weeks is to like and I like this all obviously revolves around meeting a guy that I'd want to do this with. But like living in a van for like two weeks or like an RV and like we're just driving across the country and like we like stop at a at like not the Grand Canyon because like that place like it makes me feel uncomfortable. But like like a mountain or a beach or something and we go and like it's cool. But two weeks is like my max limit on that.

40:38 I. I agree. I think that's a lot. I think that as long as it's a generally OK RV, that that is something very doable. I'm really excited for this year. Todd and I have started planning on little trips like we did a lot of trips this year. And I'm like, well, we need to downsize the amount of trips a little bit, but. Still have fun. We're going to start doing little things out west, like go to Colorado. I think that would be so fun. I know. I would love to do more of that out west. I've never done that. And I would also like to go. We're going to go to Oregon at some point because we have a teacher from high school that we're still really close to.

41:22 And he's specifically very close to. And we're going to go visit her and her family out there. I would love to go to Maine. I would love to do that. Maine is east. It is. Yes. Okay. I am switching gears. Don't worry. I am switching gears. That was a rough transition. I would love to go to Maine. Do you know who else is obsessed with Maine? Who? Amy, my stepmom. Really? Yeah. It's like she loves lighthouses and like it's like a whole thing for her. That's really endearing. Yeah. That's a sweet thing. Yeah. That would be really cool. We're going to do a bunch of other stuff too, but it's going to be. a little bit less i'm we're going to hawaii in a couple weeks i'm so excited i'm so excited i just have no clue what i'm gonna wear because i've never been to hawaii and i don't know what the weather's gonna be but it'll be really nice i've never been and it's gonna be so sweet you'll have fun yeah i'm gonna try to be extremely respectful about it because i don't want to be like that stereotypical tourist that doesn't like respect the land. And that is just kind of a nuisance.

42:22 I want to be the opposite of that if it's possible. I want to learn so much. I want to appreciate so much. I want to see all the beautiful things and appreciate it and disrespect absolutely nobody. Good. I love that. Yeah. Your holidays might be chaotic, but your bed should not be. I'm really into Cozy Earth's bamboo sheets right now. They're ridiculously soft, and they'll keep you cool all night. Oprah and Kris Jenner are huge fans, and you'll see why. You get a 100 -night sleep trial and a 10 -year warranty, so you really can't go wrong. Dear listener, right now you all get 41 % off of anything on the website.

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44:00 You ready for reality roundup? Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I, dear listener, I have two pages of notes. I'm so happy. I and I didn't even need these notes. But it's something that brings me a lot of joy to take notes and to make sure that I'm writing down not just what happens, but my reactions. I do. Oh, I know you do. Oh, I know you do. So this is season one, episode 10 of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Hot Water. It's probably one of the more iconic ones because I when no one knew what the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was, you get this like this image of Jen Shaw in the like bathtub splashing and like screaming. Yes. This is kind of. This is really one of the ones that put it on the map.

44:56 It's like I think that's like the first memory I have of like seeing Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. That's amazing. But. We start out at Jen's house. Jen's acting like the victim for the way she acted at Sharif's birthday. And we find out Sharif isn't talking to Jen at the moment. So she gets up and she's like, this is the scene where like, because I haven't watched this in a couple of weeks since I took these notes. This is where she's like getting up and making the bed and the whole thing, right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Like on one hand, I can understand how Jen's feeling right now because everyone has been in that place of. I cannot believe the way I acted. I'm so embarrassed. I'm such a nightmare. God, I hate myself. That's not what Jen's feeling right now, though. Jen is fully saying this is someone else's fault. It's Whitney's fault that Sharif isn't speaking to me. Yes. But. It's something that I simply can't subscribe to. And I think that Heather did say it best, which kind of counteracts what you just said. But Heather said it best where she's like. So yes, Jen is in the wrong right now, but you have to give her a little bit of empathy. Like her marriage is in turmoil, all these things. And like, should she feel absolutely embarrassed for the way that she acted at that party? 100%. Do I, as the audience member, feel really bad that Sharif isn't talking to her?

46:21 Yes, I do feel bad. But is it for no reason that Sharif is talking to her? Absolutely not. I fully agree with. Like Sharif needed time to process and to figure out how he's feeling and to not be in her vicinity so so soon so that he doesn't blow up on her. Yes. So that yes, I can get behind that. Like the thing this is where I struggle with Jen a little bit because it's like I get where you're coming from. I get like I get that like the situation with you and Sharif right now is really, really bad. Right. like you and like yeah it's it's hard that Whitney brought that to you at like because here's the thing I can say two wrongs don't make a right right I I don't think Whitney should have brought that to Jen at Sheree's birthday party and like if I'm being 100 % honest I can blame the January 6th woman like I can still blame that January 6th woman because there you go because she's the one who suggested all of it but for And Jen, to like be that reactive, I'm like, at some point you have to say, I don't care what the situation is. I'm going to remove myself from it, especially in situations like this, where it is like the stakes are that high. That's just all there is to it. I literally want to take what you've said and I want to read one of my notes that I wrote down today. Please. I think that if Jen wanted this party to work out and be all about Coach Shaw, she would have pulled a Meredith and disengaged.

47:52 Because Meredith is always like, I am disengaged. Well, I think that's what she should have done. I agree. And I think that's what Meredith on some level was trying to do, because Meredith, I like even this early on, I think was like, I can see what's coming from a mile away. I'm I'm backing away slowly and I'm not doing this. Yeah, it's it's a really difficult situation because it's like say say the thing that I had you say earlier about actions and reactions. Oh, you can. You can't control other people's actions. You can only control your reactions. Yes. And I think that if the party and if the concept behind the party was important enough and heavy enough for Jen Shaw, that she would have taken what Whitney had said and been like, OK, so I see that this is happening and I'm really getting annoyed about it. I have to walk away and I have to truly make this about him. And I need to disengage from this conversation. I'd be like, let's talk about this later. I want to focus on my husband. And she did not do that.

48:51 And she doesn't have very good reactions to things. And that's a big, fat problem of hers. Yes. And it continues to be a problem throughout the episode. Well, throughout. The entire show. Throughout all of time for the rest of her life and then some. But then we get Whitney going to Beauty Lab and they're unpacking the disaster that was Sharif's party. And then Whitney says she has good intentions and she was just trying to be a good friend to Jen, which I do buy this from Whitney. What I will say about Whitney is that I. I wholeheartedly believe what you see is what you get. And sometimes it's messy. Sometimes it's not the right time. Sometimes it is rough around the edges. But I do believe, A, that it always comes from a place of like having good intentions. And B, it is always coming from a very genuine place. I completely agree. And the part that I didn't love is that she found a way to blame this on the other women jumping in.

49:45 And she she did that a couple of times. And I had written something down, too, where I'm like, honey. You think that it went downhill when all the girls jumped in. It went downhill because you couldn't spit it out and say coherently. She was wasted. And I'm like, it's your it is your fault that you couldn't get the thoughts out. Not because the girls were jumping in and adding their own things, because you wouldn't spit it out because you were drunk. Yes, girl. You were drunk as a skunk and you couldn't you couldn't dish it out. Like also just say that. Just say like, hey, I I could not piece. a string of thought together because I was wasted. Just say that. And like, I'll buy that a little bit more than like it's absolutely it's Meredith and it's Lisa's fault because like and Heather Whitney was blaming Heather. I didn't like that because like Heather was trying to be the catalyst to like make the conversation out. Heather, by the way, was also wasted like this. This wasn't any of their best episodes. I'm just going to be super real because like none of them came off like being. the good guy in any scenario yeah but lord have mercy it was unbearable yeah um heather says that she feels like jen wants to be associated with lisa and meredith because like they're like she considers them to be like better people right that i this is like i think a result of the show trying to find its footing where in the beginning i think the show was built

51:15 around either Jin or Lisa or Jin and Lisa. And I feel like because you can see like people gravitating towards those two more than anyone else. And like part of it probably is like the personality and like the like larger than life thing of it. But like I have to assume that like the show is being built around them because. Like. To keep coming back to the chaos that is like Jen Shaw after Cherie's birthday party, after Meredith's birthday party, after the luncheon, after all of this, like it kind of says like, oh, they felt like they had to keep coming back. Like that's that's just how I feel about it. I get that. And it made me really sad that Heather and maybe I'm jumping forward a little bit, but this whole concept of Heather being very. Open, like in the confessional specifically about if I'm not the go along girl, somebody is going to drop me like that. And that makes me so sad because obviously it is such PTSD from her previous relationship. And from the Mormon church. And from the Mormon church, of course. And I just feel like. a lot of sympathy for heather where she wants everybody to be happy and i'm i'm this kind of person too where i want everybody to be happy i want everybody to get along you want a nice bow on everything you want everything to be okay and i also want everybody to like me too as much as that's like kind of conceited to admit or something. I like being liked and

52:45 I like what I like being wanted. And I hate the idea that Heather has such a huge example of how that's not true for her because that's how it is perceived. Like her husband left her when she set one boundary. And I think it is really sad that she's like, I feel like Jen would drop me. at any second if it meant that she could be best friends with lisa and meredith yeah i just think it's sad i think it's sad too but i think the difference between someone like you and someone like heather gay and i think heather has gotten a lot better about this as time has gone on it's like she's distanced herself from the church from like the the fallout of her marriage from honestly from jen shaw too um but this didn't used to be this way heather would be the like get along girl at the detriment of herself you don't like let it destroy your life your relationship and the things around you where I think at some point Heather did because she felt like she had to and I hate that for her because like she is one of these people that you look at she has so much to offer and I'm like if you could just see that like that you you would have and she does like that's the thing is like once she like learned how to kind of like live in her light She's got the world eating out of the palm of her hand. Absolutely. And I had even noted it in my notes that she has made so much progress between, say, last episode to the end of the season where she's like, you know what? If you're going to be mean to me, if you're not going to

54:17 accept all that I have to offer and you want to discredit it or discount it or diminish it in any way, screw you. I don't I don't need you in my life anymore. And I think that that's really big of her. And I would also be very. willing and interested to like read her books. And I think I even saw that she has something on some sort of TV subscription to called Bad Mormon. So she's got Bad Mormon and Good Time Girl were the two books she wrote. They're both very, very good. I've read both of them. Bad Mormon is probably my favorite of the two. And then she's got. Did you ever watch the Scientology show like that Leah Romney hosted? For sure, I did. So Heather.

54:58 I think it's called Bad Woman also, but it's it's kind of the same concept where it's unpacking, like leaving the church and like what that's done to people. It's a three part series. It's on Peacock. That's what it was. That's what I saw. OK, so, yes, I really want to watch that. It's very good. It is, I think, especially for people like us that grew up in not the Mormon church, but like the Nazarene church does have a lot of parallels there. I think it'll be very triggering. Yikes. But I think it's a good show. Well, yeah, I'm really I I agree that Heather has got so much going for her. And I'm really proud of the progress that I've seen only watching season one. So I can only imagine the kind of progress she's made over the years. Oh, yeah.

55:43 So that's great. That's my Heather tangent. We go over to Whitney. Face tying Mary to make sure that she understood exactly what Mary said. And this all kind of revolves around. Mary told Whitney that Lisa and Meredith both separately said they are afraid of Jen. I. I don't buy. I don't buy that Meredith said I'm afraid of Jen at all. I buy that. Lisa said, I'm afraid of, not I'm afraid of, but like, I can't handle the like, the blow ups and the theatrics of all. I'll buy that Lisa Barlow said that. I don't believe she said, I'm afraid of Jen. And I think if Meredith said any semblance of anything, it's something similar to what I think Lisa said of like, I can't handle this. Cause like they're both, there are two people that cannot engage in this idea of like, I need you to calm down. Like you have to like stop. Right. At this point in the episode, I also had to pause and I had to think to myself, OK, so who is lying or where was the truth shifted?

57:01 Because I don't because now that Mary has now that Whitney has clarified with Mary what Mary had said, I don't think that Whitney is lying. Whitney was told something. Yes. So that's either Mary lying, Lisa lying or Meredith lying or some combination of the three. I still believe that. I don't think Mary would say something that's untrue. I think that she's too old and too grown to have the desire to say something that isn't true. And she's been saying it up, down, left and sideways throughout the season that she's just going to say it how it is. So what I will buy is that. mary heard lisa and meredith say whatever they said and she heard what she wanted to hear she heard because like i i know that mary does not like jen like that is that has been well established right i think she heard i can't handle this blow up thing she took that and ran with it and said Oh, you're afraid of her. Like, you're afraid of the blowups. You're afraid of this. And like, I'll buy that she believed that, too. And then she relayed that information to Whitney. And the recurring theme with Whitney is she's the one that you hand the ball to. And Whitney runs with the ball. So I think Mary probably knew what she was doing when she let Whitney know that information. Yeah. Because I believe Whitney believed that to be the truth. And I believe Mary said that's. I believe that's what you meant. You know what I mean? And that makes

58:33 sense because I also thought to myself, I don't think that Meredith and Lisa have any reason to lie about their feelings with Jen because kind of in parallel to what Heather was saying, I do perceive Meredith and Lisa to be very special, very like highly acclaimed, very classy, very chic, very, very high up. in this like hierarchy of real housewives. And I would imagine that they don't have any reason to lie. They don't have any reason to even be afraid, quote unquote, of Jen. I'm not saying that they're better than Jen and I'm not saying they're better than Mary or Whitney or anything like that, but they're very. very confident women they're very comfortable in their thoughts and their feelings and they also think very highly of themselves which is great right that's that's a compliment so this whole time i'm like grappling with who where where did the truth turn into a lie and now that you were saying all of this it does sound like it's got to be mary mary mary mary girl mary um Meredith and Seth go to dinner with Lisa and John and we get the like Meredith and Seth sharing that they're starting a new beginning. And I think like that's really beautiful that a that

1:00:04 they were like able to be honest about this, because I think, number one, having your marriage fall apart like or start like be rocky is a scary place to be. Having it happen on. A brand new reality show in front of the world is a much scarier place to be. And I think rebuilding it has to be a very vulnerable place to be. And I'm very impressed that they were like kind of able to get to this place. But then we get into how. Jen had been talking about Seth and Meredith's marriage and. Like. This is one of those things where I'm like, OK, I will buy that you didn't want your marriage talked about. But like at some point you're putting yourself on reality TV, you're putting this all out there like I think it's going to be talked about. But like I do agree with Meredith, I don't like the way Jen went about it. But at some point, I think that you're if you're in for a penny, you're in for a pound with this reality TV game. That is true. And. Maybe it's just got to be one of those things about like it's a reality TV show.

1:01:17 Let's make somebody the bad guy for this scene and or this episode or whatever. But I do understand that. How do I want to say this? I like what you said about it just being incredibly vulnerable because divorce. as a concept is extremely vulnerable. And at times, people can feel embarrassed about it, ashamed about it. And it would be at a different level, also incredibly vulnerable to consider divorce, like going through a separation and seeing if divorce is the right thing. And then turning around and being like, No, we can actually fix this. Because people are always going to have perceptions of your relationships. And Whether you in in Meredith's case, like she's sharing a lot, not just with the world, but also to her close friends. And if we're looking at this from an audience perspective and we're not considering the fact that it is a reality TV show, 100 percent, Jen Shaw did the wrong thing by being like, you'll just have to ask Meredith. Yes, this is what I'm hearing. But you'll just have to ask her.

1:02:34 But that is a really interesting perspective that you've opened up. That's like, can you be so mad when you're sharing it on national television on a highly acclaimed reality show? And to be fair to Meredith, because I'll give her this one. Season one of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, they had no idea where they were going to be. Like, I'll buy that. Like, this was all very, very new for them. So I can give Meredith a pass for being upset about it, for feeling some type of way about it, because. This was all still very it was very new territory to them. I'll give her that. And it's also when we see all of these friend dynamics, we saw from the very beginning of this season that Meredith and Jen were like top notch best friends, like having sleepovers, doing all these things, throwing $80 ,000 birthday parties on Lisa Barlow's birthday.

1:03:26 By the way, I had no clue about that. Yeah. So that's crazy. But they were best friends. And so, like, why are you saying things like that to other people about your best friend? Like, have a little bit of decorum. Have a little bit of respect for your friend. Yes. It's crazy. Whitney, Heather and Jen go to a spa in the middle of nowhere. And then we get a flashback of Whitney calling Jen to apologize. I didn't like. The way this conversation went down, because I think if someone apologizes to you, you either have to accept it or not. Like in the way that Jen was so like, yeah, fine, I'll go. Yeah, I'll go to the spot. Like it just it felt icky to me. Well, I when I rewatched the episode this morning, I had honestly felt like I bet there could have been more to that conversation. Like I bet there was and it was just cut. I'm hoping that that's what happened, because I felt the same way where Whitney every. time she apologizes i feel like it's genuine yes and so when jen shaw was just like fine i'll go i was like it was a little bit ew yeah um but then i was like well maybe that was like a 10 second clip of a flashback where that phone call could have been like upwards of 20 minutes long who knows that's what i'm hoping maybe but of course we already knew that going into this jen still didn't like whitney right and still had a problem with her and didn't Like had high expectations for

1:04:58 the spa thing, like if you're going to apologize to me, it better be a 24 karat face mask. It better be this, that and the third, which I also thought was really funny that Jen was so disgusted by this place. I wrote down in my notes like I would do anything. I'd pay any money to be at this cool little hippy dippy spa. Oh, yeah. And be sitting in these rocks that are bathtubs. Yeah. With hot water in nature. in the fresh air and all of the canyons i i assume i don't know i would do anything so me and jen are just not alike i wrote down the same thing where i i would love to be in one of these hot hot spring hot tub things but like so okay so you get the you get the visual of like them driving out there and you and i think whitney says it at one point um i'm i'm I brought us out to the middle of nowhere. So Jen could not storm off. And like, and that really just illustrates how big of a problem that has been. Cause like, I think I said it to Emma. We're like, we've seen it four or five times, but like, I wonder how much, cause like, I think Heather Dubrow said like, it's for every eight hours that we film one hour makes it to air. So like, you have to assume that there are like hours on the cutting room floor of, Jen just storming off or like having a meltdown that we haven't seen. So like I like they're all conditioned to it in a way that like we think it's entertaining, but like they're exhausted by it. So yeah, when he brings you out in the

1:06:30 middle of nowhere, you're you can't storm off. And I don't love that she did this again. But when he starts to apologize and she's blaming the other women for the derailing of the conversation. I know. I know. It kind of makes you grit your teeth a little bit. It's like everybody in the room. Everybody in these tubs can take a little bit of accountability. Right. For sure. But what Jen, I did appreciate. She explains like she does a very good job of explaining the party was such a big deal to her. Yes. And I get her being upset, just like not to the extent of. Where she took it and then she has a complete inability to take accountability past that. And then she has to melt down and says that Whitney pushed her to throw the glass. I know this is a problem that I have with Jen 24 seven is that she will. say what is wrong she'll say how she's feeling and then instead of looking inward and being like okay did I do anything to make myself feel this way or is there anything that's happened in my past to make me feel this way or what were my actions did I do anything to alleviate the situation and instead of doing all those things she deflects and she Says it is your fault that I threw the glass. Baby, it is not Whitney's fault that you threw the glass. You are in control of your reactions, your actions and your reactions.

1:07:54 And Jen just never she can't comprehend that. She she constantly wants to blame other people for the bad things that she does. She knows that she does the bad things. She's embarrassed about it. I believe that she's fully embarrassed. I agree. But. She will continue to blame everybody else for the way that she acts. You have to fix how you react. You have to because you just look emotionally immature. You look you look ridiculous. And and honestly, it comes to a point where I honestly feel a little bad for Jen because it's like you're already at your grown age. You're already at your grown age. How are you going to fix this now? Right. How are you going to work on this now? Probably prison. I hope. I hope. So it is sad. And I liked that at some point Whitney fully took accountability. But it came to a point where Heather was like. You just need to give her what she wants to hear in order to alleviate this. Yes. It's like talking to a child. Well, and that's exactly what I wrote in my notes, too. But before that, you get. the famous scene of Jen splashing the cameras. And it's like, it's funny that this happens immediately after not, she's saying it's your, you pushed me to, you pushed me to throw the glass. She splashes the cameras. The producer says, Jen, why'd you do that? And she goes, that's what happens when you film me in a bathtub. It's always someone else's fault. It's the exact same thing

1:09:27 about the glass. And then how crazy. like and that's the thing it's like oh you just can't do it like you simply can't do it and then like heather does something where and i immediately recognized what heather was doing because our papaw has done this i've seen huck do this i've seen tina do this i've seen a lot of people in our family do this where it's like it's my fault it's my fault like just make it go away and I feel bad that Heather did that because she takes all the blame for everything. She says it was bad timing on her part. And that was the problem. And then Heather ends up telling Jen that she's terrified of losing the friendship with her. And that broke my heart. It did. Yeah, I agree. It's what did I write down? It's like the things that we said before that Heather is terrified of. setting boundaries with people and so she's willing to just let people walk all over her or treat her however they want to treat her and it's just so sad and again I'm really glad that she's made the progress that I've currently seen having only just watched season one but from episode nine to episode whatever before the reunion I've seen that progress but this is like the beginning of that progress where she just wants this to be fixed so bad and that's also a really sad place and that's where me as a person I sit in that place a lot where if something is wrong I just want everybody to be happy I just want everybody to get along I just want everything to be fixed and I'll do anything to make it fixed

1:10:57 even at like my own detriment and so in a lot of ways Heather's become kind of one of my favorites because not only do I see a little bit of myself in her but I also see um how strong and how capable she becomes in this throughout this season not just with with like her beautiful business that turns out so well by the end of the season and all these things but that she is able to be like you know I'm allowed to make boundaries yeah and if you have a problem with it I'd rather you step out yeah I'd rather you go and she just holds a lot more value in herself later on and I'm excited for her to get there. But right now it's just sad. It is. It's sad. Lisa hosts a dinner in a yurt. Whatever. I can see her being like, this is such a good idea, John. This is going to be really good for Vita Tequila. John, I can't wait for you to hear about this idea that I have. Look at this idea. I don't want to hear your opinion, but I have a really good idea. John, I love it. Yeah. But she has dinner in a yurt. Meredith is the only other house right there, but we meet Angie Harrington. And Angie Harrington is someone who's always been really, really fascinating to me because she is the ex -wife. of brett from secret lives and more lives yes and she she was i i know beyond the shadow

1:12:29 of a doubt she was slated to be on the real housewives of salt lake city if not in the first season then definitely in the second season but that really just didn't ever go anywhere Or, like, she stayed a friend of, because she got confessional at some point, but, like, I wonder if part of the problem was, like, she was trying too hard or, like, the other girls hated her. Because I know there was a lot there with, like, her and Jen where Angie Harrington's husband, like, created, like, a burner Instagram that, like, did nothing but drag Jen Shaw. So, like, I don't know if that's why she never got on the show, but, like, there's... like Angie Harrington's always been very interesting to me. And like, she's got money. Like I, like from what I understand, she gave Jen Shaw like a million dollars, like during the trial, like to, to, yeah, I'm going to probably going to cut that because I don't know if that's liable or not, but like, there's like Angie Harrington has like real, real, real money. Like I know they donated a million dollars to, to a foundation that was like supporting trans people. Like they, they have a lot of money in there, like allies of the community. So I don't know why they, Never made it on the show.

1:13:39 Yeah. That's interesting. I didn't know a single thing about that woman. So I'm glad to have heard some of this information. And that's fascinating. Yeah. She was married to Brett. Yeah. I wonder if she was ever involved in Fruity Pebbles. I wonder if she knows about Fruity Pebbles. I wonder if she eats Fruity Pebbles. I have a feeling that she knows a lot about Fruity Pebbles. I have a feeling she knows about Fruity Pebbles and that's why she left her husband. Maybe. I hope. I don't know. I don't know. We go over to Jen's house and Coach Shaw comes in and talks to Jen for the first time in a week. Yeah. So.

1:14:23 I would like to have one of these talks with Coach Shaw because I think coming out of this conversation, I think that I would feel better. He is so gentle. He is. And when I think that. The time away has given him a lot of patience and he was able to find his words very well. And what I also notice is he is such a like a words of affirmation person. And he was so gentle and so kind about it. And I would also love to have any conversation with him, I think would be very validating and very endearing. Yes. But he explains to Jen that she cannot control her emotions and reactions when she drinks. And I would. venture a guess that alcohol is not the issue I think it makes it worse but I don't think alcohol is the root of the problem right I I did wonder when he said that like of course I'm this is my first time in Real Housewives of Salt Lake City first time Real Housewives anything so I don't know anything about Jen Shaw going into any of this but I did wonder like Has drinking been an issue with her in previous years? Has it always been a thing that she does? I have no clue. I think it's I think Coach Shaw is more critical of the drinking because he is Muslim and he is like he is sober Muslim, too. And they're sober. He's sober. And like, I think he follows like the teachings of the Koran that say, like,

1:15:55 you don't drink, you don't you don't. Do you X, Y, Z? And that's fine. I think that he's viewing it through the lens of I know I don't drink. I know I don't have these problems. Jen drinks. She does have these problems. And I think that it's a it's a correlation that's it's a causation. It's a correlation that's not a causation. So I think that. That's why he's coming at it from this angle. But I also think that he does not want to be like you have an emotional problem. Well, I wonder if he's scared to say that or if he genuinely is gone for so long, so consecutively that he genuinely doesn't understand what the issue is. And like, it's harder to not know something because, I mean, humans are. Powered by like, I want to know this, that and the third. I want there's a problem. I want a solution. We have to know everything. And so if there's something that Sharif genuinely doesn't understand, he probably wants to be like, well, I do know this is a problem. So that's got to be it. I'll buy that. And that is frustrating, especially when this is the first time that Jen is actually opening up about these issues. Right. She said, I've never. Told you how much I resent you. How mad she is. The one thing that stood out to me is she was like, I'm so mad at you. And I felt her when she was saying that. I believe all of this.

1:17:24 And I genuinely do think that all of her feelings are very validated. It's just nobody can validate it when she comes off the way that she does, when she comes off so aggressively. And I. do agree with like Whitney where when Jen is around Sharif she's so much more gentle and so instead of screaming and yelling and throwing glasses like what she would at Whitney Jen just kind of resorts to this very emotional response as she's talking she's crying and she's she's not yelling at Sharif but she is making it apparent like I'm so angry with you and that's great Because, I mean, imagine how miserable the relationship would be if she's screaming and yelling in his face and throwing glasses in his vicinity. And I think that that is a relationship where if they're comfortable enough to be open and vulnerable with each other, they can make all of this work.

1:18:25 And Sharif can, Sharif can support her in. making her a little more emotionally mature but he can't do that if jen's not going to actually say what the problem is right and this is the first time she's doing it right and like it's the first time she's saying what i mean and the problem is for she she gives like the full like i'm so mad at you because you weren't there when i had to make the decision to pull my dad off of life support and I like and you find out at some point later that like towards the end there, Sharif was the only person that Jen's dad recognized. And I think that that made it so much harder because I think Sharif even says it at the reunion.

1:19:06 Like he he says. I think Jen probably on some level feels like if I were there, he would have pulled through a little bit and like I'll buy that she like subconsciously might like feel that I don't know, but. She does say, I'm so mad at you and I don't know where to put this, like long and short of it. And then Sharif hears her. And I think that's the first time Jen really feels heard. Yeah. About that situation. He was very receptive to it. He was. And he apologized and his apology felt so. real sincere and real and i think that's really beautiful she was like i need you to know i love you baby i love you and i'm so sorry that you're hurt and he's like i'll be better and i don't know if he has been i i haven't watched i don't think sharif had anything to fix like outside of like being present i i really don't so like exactly if he's any more present then i'm he's fixed it hopefully but Like the takeaway from that for me was the conversation is beautifully like it feels like everything's going to be OK in the Shaw chalet.

1:20:15 Right. She doesn't do this with the other women, though. I know at some point, like you can say to Whitney, I am hurt that like you took this beautiful moment that I was trying to have for Sharif and it felt ruined and I'm hurt and I'm mad at you. She she doesn't she she gets. the essence of that but she doesn't ever get there with Whitney with Heather I don't know what the issue is with and with with Meredith and Lisa she could say I'm hurt and I'm mad that you are afraid of me like if that's how you perceive me I'm hurt and I'm mad and she doesn't ever get there it's just throwing the glasses it's screaming it's storming off it's don't talk about Mary and it's always like someone else's problem I wish she could take what she did with Sharif and translate it to the other girls because I think like here's the thing I think this group of women it's it's the most beautiful dynamic but like when you have someone as volatile as Jen Shaw like where you're gonna have drama no matter what I don't think you can walk into any situation with Jen Shaw and be like oh this is gonna be a good day because you know what's coming next yeah and you know what the potential is you know what the possibility is And I think that I agree. I severely wish that she could communicate with the other women the same way that she communicates with Sharif. But I think that it's got something to do with Sharif hangs the moon in her sky. And so it kind of leads

1:21:46 me to believe that. Not specifically at that level, but at a high level, she does not respect some of these women. And she does not like some of these women. And she's not willing to even participate in a meaningful and effective conversation with these women. And at some level, she can do that with Meredith and Lisa. But at no level can she do that with Whitney. And at barely any level can she do that with Heather. And that makes me sad because obviously, like when they were in the bathtubs, Whitney and Heather were like, we genuinely had the best intentions, which I also believe. You said that you fully believe that. And I do as well. And Whitney was like, I just want you so badly to know that I had every intention of just coming to you as a girlfriend and being truthful to you. And I can see that Whitney and Heather want to be good friends to Jen. And I think that Jen just paints them in a negative light every time and just doesn't.

1:22:46 can't show up for being their good friends even if they're trying to be her good friends and that sucks i agree but yeah there's that this was an incredible episode this was this episode's gonna have a lot of editing how long is it right now um it's an hour and 31 minutes but like i mean all all things being equal it's probably an hour and Ten. Yeah. An hour. Yeah. But dear listener, thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Josh, will you be back? You're not you're going to Hawaii next week. It'll be after Christmas. Oh, gorgeous. So then we have we have at least one episode between now and Christmas. I believe so. And then thank you for being here. Thank you for loving us. Follow us.

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