Emma's rage and Travis's Raisinets.

0:12 My name's Travis. And I'm Emma. And this is Bestie Approved. What's the last song you listened to? It was Video Games by Lana Del Rey. Love that. A classic. It is a classic. Mine was Maybe You're the Problem by Ava Max. Who we love. I love Ava Max. Yeah. Do you know for the longest time I thought she was from like Sweden or like a Nordic country or something, but it turns out she's from like Ohio or something. Interesting. I would have guessed Florida. In my mind's eye, you were going to say Florida. Oh, I can see Florida. No, but like, I don't know why I thought she was from like. Are you looking it up? Yeah, I don't know. Well, her parents. Hmm. She's from Milwaukee. Milwaukee. Which is crazy. Yeah. How do you become Ava Max in Wisconsin? Well, how do you become Trixie Mattel in Wisconsin? I really don't know. That's a fair question. Anyways.

1:29 Anyway, so today, Emma and I did our daily FaceTime. Emma, I want from your perspective, I want you to tell the world how I just woke up full of venom and anger and haste. And I, you know, OK, the other thing is I wake up at 6 a .m. and I immediately am a mother all morning long. And so I don't really have an outlet for my anger or haste. And so I drop Jack off, all is well and good. And I decide to go get a bagel while I wait for the CVS pharmacy to open because I, whatever. Worst bagel I've ever had in my life.

2:21 And I get back in my car and I go, ugh. And then I go get my stuff from CVS. And then I come home and I'm like, wow, I wish we had a punching bag. Like, I just am full. I just, you know, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. There's your audio. There it is. Oh, good. I guess I'll just fucking kill myself. I didn't mean to cut you off. I'm sorry. But like Emma's audio, like where we record looked so quiet. And then the second she moved her mic, it was like, oh, it's normal. It usually sounds better if I hold it like down there, but not today. Today is just not my day.

3:04 I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I like can feel that I have a little cut or something on my tongue that's pissing me off. That's actually the worst, to be fair. I'm just in a bad fucking mood. That's it. That's all. So let me tell you how I experienced it this morning. Yeah. So I FaceTime her and it was probably like. nine o 'clock in the morning and i was like oh she's probably like taking jack to school or something like i was doing laundry which is like yeah i was like putting stuff away my hands were full she didn't answer and that's fine so then i was playing with boomer and then i hear my phone go off and i was like oh emma's facetiming me back and i was like it's gonna be the best day ever i'm gonna talk to my best friend Today, I have no sunshine in my pocket. I got a pocket full of rain clouds. Not sunshine. I open up FaceTime. And I was like, hi. And she goes, what's up? Oh, yeah. That's not surprising to me. And I was like, I just wanted to check on you. She goes, yeah, what's up? Oh, I don't even remember saying that. And then I had goldfish pretzels that I was eating and I knew the instant that I put one in my mouth that it was a mistake.

4:30 And Emma was going on about like, oh, yeah, like I woke up in a bad mood. I was like, oh, we all have those days. It's not a big deal. And then I like crunched on one of the goldfish pretzels because that actually made it worse. I can't. I am in such a bad mood. I also have the most annoying dog on planet Earth. I love him to death, but he's a little tiny little rat. And all he does all day is follow me around and lick his lips. And so I have just had a time today. Yeah, you've had a rough day. I also. I asked Kenny yesterday when he got a haircut to ask the people at the salon where he gets his haircut if they can cut my hair because they do men and women there. And I wanted him to ask because it's like an Asian salon. Like, oh, cool. The owners are Korean, whatever, whatever. And I was like, show them a picture of my hair because it's like curly.

5:37 It's just like wavy and thick. You do a lot of hair. Ask them if they can cut my hair. Because the lady I normally go to is perpetually booked out like three months. And I, once I decide I need a haircut, cannot wait three months. This is the one that Sky Lee sent you to? Yeah. And like if I were as on top of my life as Sky Lee is, she would be perfect. Like she does a great job on my hair. Once you decide you need an appointment, you have to wait three months and I just can't do it. That is insane. So Kenny asked last night and the lady said, yeah, for sure. Just send her my number and we'll like schedule her or whatever. He never sent me her number. So I texted him this morning and I said, are you going to send me Kat's number? Are you uncomfortable with me going there? I just feel so full of rage.

6:34 You have said, I will take every man in my life and make him the victim. Suffer everybody but Jack. Because I do think it's funny when I'm in this type of mood and Kenny and Jack are both home. I'll like be talking to Jack and be like, yeah, how do you feel about that? What do you want to eat for dinner? How's your day? And then I'll turn around to Kenny and go. So. Yeah. I love that. This is where I am. It is where you're at. Anyway. I took my first trip ever to a Dollar General. Have we talked about this? Yeah. So I went to the Dollar General. There's a Dollar General in my town and like. the dollar general like their business model is problematic to begin with because what they do is create food deserts like that is actually a thing that they do but like i didn't want to drive all the way to east washington street because all i wanted was a box of raisinets right it doesn't dollar tree do the same thing where they like just pop up all over the anyway but at least dollar tree is honest about their pricing yeah that's true so whatever but dollar general i was like let me go in here and um let me get a box of raisinets because like anytime I'm having a really good hankering for Raisinets. And I know I'm like I'm a person that's nine million years old. I love Raisinets. I won't be attacked for it. I'm sorry. I love Raisinets. Oh, you know what I do? This is so sick and twisted. You know how I do this, too, where when you go to the movies, you put M &Ms in your popcorn and they get a

8:05 little like melty and delicious. I've done that with Raisinets. Oh, that's magical. It's. So messy and so delicious. It's not for anyone to judge, though. It's dark in there. No one has to see the chocolate between you and God. Yeah. Anyway, really delicious. Highly recommend. So I went to the Dollar General and let me let me tell you about the Dollar General in my town. So I go in. And the place is a pole barn and literally in the middle of a field. They like mowed down part of a cornfield to put in this Dollar General. And this Dollar General went up in 14 minutes. Like there's no way they spent any time designing this place. Right. I go in.

8:49 There's one person working there. I find the candy aisle. I go by the Raisinets. I was so excited. The person working there is gone. I don't know where the person is. very common dollar general experience because there's literally one person in that entire store right so if they have to do anything that is not at the cash register you gotta wait right yeah which is so funny because why do they put in like five cash registers why even put them there oh they don't they put in one cash register seven self -checkouts that you cannot use they they they're turned off it's been upwards of like eight years since i've been to a dollar general so they did not have a self -checkout but they did have like five checkout lanes and i was like why there's one person here anyway yeah so i go up there to check out right i um i was like oh the person's gone oh wait a minute and You know how like some places have like a bell or something like where you can like ring it or like a doorbell, whatever. It's like signal. I won't do it. Do you want to know what this fucking dollar general had? You screaming.

10:00 Hello. What? A cowbell. Not a cowbell. There's no chance. I'm ringing a cowbell. I gunned to my head. I was like, this can't be real. You must want me to steal because I'm not doing that. I said, I'm just going to sit here. I'm going to sit here for the next however long it takes. And if I if it's too long, that's just the decider on whether or not the raisinets were that important to me. I guess. Take care of Zanette's sister. It's on them. There's no one up there. Higher security. I don't know. Oh, it's even worse.

10:42 They have signs of people that were caught stealing from this place. Like, it's like they print out from their security cameras. They used to do that at the Circle K on Michigan. They still do it at the Circle K on Post Road, too. It's so insane. And I get it. Like, it's a small. It's not a small business, but it's a business in a small town. So you're going to shame the people. Whatever. Sure. But like, I just imagine the scene that is like seeing someone walk into your store and then like pointing at their picture. Do you really have the balls to do that? Or are you just going to check them out? Or like. i don't i don't know it's as someone who has worked in retail there's a zero percent chance i'm walking up to someone and being like you're banned there's a sign like i'm not doing that it's not happening so i pick up my stuff i go and then like i get home my sister -in -law is at my house i was like hey I just had the most horrific experience at Dollar General. And then she goes, oh, Dollar Tree is much better. You should check out Dollar Tree. I don't know that I've ever been to a Dollar Tree. I have. What I will say, I believe the quality of goods is better at a Dollar General.

12:04 That might be a hot take. I don't know. But Dollar Tree is much more. Well staffed. You're going to have a better experience there. It doesn't feel like you're fighting for your life. For some reason, in a Dollar General, it feels like someone's mad at you for being there. A Dollar Tree does not feel that way. Yeah. Well, listener, if you have any opinions about Dollar General versus Dollar Tree, let us know. Also, why are they still called dollar stores when everything is like three bucks? I don't get that. I don't know. I did pay $1 .25 for each box of Raisinets.

12:47 I bought five of them. It was five for $5. So it was $1 .25 or five for $5. So. Okay. Made out like a bandit there. But that's like, sure. But you used to be able to go to a Dollar Tree and get like a bottle of hairspray for $1. Or like. a notebook for one dollar i don't i don't know what happened to that if i'm being honest like so this is the thing i i've never been a dollar store shopper but i've never been like a frequenter of dollar stores but i remember that yeah and like i remember when this was like a thing on the news where like it went from a dollar to a dollar 25 and people were like protesting and i was like I guess then don't call it a Dollar Tree. I don't know. Well, that's what I'm saying.

13:36 Like, you would think they would have rebranded. But I don't know. What are they going to rebrand to? Like the cheap garbage store? Because like, I mean, just based on. I don't know. Maybe. But like based on. Based on the experience of the Dollar General, if the Dollar Tree has the same quality of items or lesser, because I cannot imagine it's. It gets worse. I mean, yeah, I don't know. It's been years since I've been to either one of them, to be fair. It's probably been like five years since I've been to a Dollar Tree. And like I said, like eight years since I've been to a Dollar General. But that has been my experience. I don't know. Well, now we know.

14:23 And that's checked off my list, my little bucket list. I have a question for you, Emma. Would you pay for a ticket to go to a wedding? If they don't want a gift. Yeah. Really? Yeah, because like when I go to a wedding, odds are what you're getting from me is three hundred dollars. That's pretty much what I've given every single wedding that I've gone to. That has been my gift. Three hundred dollars cash. And so if you. want to forego your wedding present for me to pay in advance for my ticket to your wedding, then fine.

15:06 Unless I don't want to go to your wedding, here's the thing. You need to be open to hearing that people don't give a shit about your wedding if you're going to start asking them to buy their tickets. Sure, okay. OK, so, yeah, depends who it is. If I really want to go to their wedding, then yes, but they're not getting a gift. And if I don't want to go to their wedding, then they're going to have to hear about it. Fair. I do. I don't know. This is the thing I'm conflicted about, because. Like, so this is all like this all comes from an article in People about these. They call them they fancy themselves entrepreneurs, Marley Jackson, Steve Larson, who. As a case like this, the way this article is written is very I don't I don't love the way this article is written, but it's like, OK, so the. entrepreneurs Marley Jacks and Steve Larson sold tickets to their wedding weekend in Idaho as a case study, a proof of concept that weddings could be funded, not financed. Guests could buy a basic $57 ticket for admission to the wedding day or a three day experience for two tickets valued at $997 that allowed access to the wedding day. Plus the pre and post wedding events. You have to be so conceited.

16:27 That's what I'm saying. Like, okay. If you were like a celebrity, I think it would be a cool concept. Oh, if this was... I can't stand her, but someone I can see doing this and being very successful, that's Larsa Pippen. 100 % Larsa Pippen could do this and get away with it. I have Jason Derulo on my mind because he's coming to my city very randomly for a golf tournament. Yeah. If Jason Derulo or Larsa Pippen or someone like that wanted to be like, hey, anyone can come to my wedding, but you have to buy tickets to it. I can see that being cool. Absolutely.

17:08 That would be sick. But not these random people. I don't know who these people are. But. And the fact that you're like, OK, so here's a $60 ticket to just to show up to the wedding. There's a $1 ,000 ticket to have the privilege of coming to all the pre and post wedding events in Idaho of all places. Like what? Like, did they? How do they even present this? Like, I don't know. How do you even? Do you just call all your friends and you want to be and be like, do you want to come to my wedding? And I say, yeah. And they go, OK, great. That'll be a thousand dollars.

17:50 What I'll bet you happened is that they made an Instagram or TikTok or something and sent it out to everyone that they were going to invite. But here's the thing. Apparently, the couple broke even on it and then had money left over. So they donated one hundred and thirty two thousand dollars to Village Impact from the proceeds from this. I have to tell you right now, if I received a thing saying. You can you can come to our wedding, but you have to pay for a ticket. I'm not going. I will not be going because like this is the whole song and dance of it is you show up to a wedding and like you're there to celebrate the couple. I don't want to feel obligated to be there. I don't like that. Yeah, I do see that there has been so like discourse I've seen online is that. When you're buying someone a wedding gift, you should try to like, and I don't know that I agree with this. You should try to like keep in mind how much they paid like per person in the wedding. No, I'm sorry. Well, I feel like if you want to celebrate their matrimony and do the thing, then I don't see a problem with that. But I don't think that. People should only be invited to your wedding if they have money.

19:09 Now, the problem I have with that is and like, you know how I feel about this, where it's like this whole idea of like keeping count. Like it's like, oh, you spent X. You spent, let's just say, seventy five dollars a plate for food or whatever. So I have to spend at least seventy five dollars for your wedding. No, I don't think that's. I think the sentiment is I want you to start your marriage on the right foot and like in a comfortable place financially. Oh, sure. OK, that is the sentiment that I've gathered. That's fine. Because that's like the whole the whole thing with like. Putting on your registry the honeymoon fund where like people can donate to your honeymoon. I'm a million percent fine with that. I love that. I think it's the same idea. It's like you want them to be celebrated and all of this. And so you don't really want them to like struggle financially from it. No.

20:05 And that's the thing, though, is like I think it comes back to this thing of like. Yeah, if you're throwing a wedding, if you're throwing a really, really high -end wedding, you're looking at anywhere in, like, it's a wide range, but anywhere in the ballpark of, like, $30 ,000 to $100 ,000. Not for a high -end wedding, mama. Not in this day and age. You're looking at at least $100 ,000. That's insane. Yeah. Like, weddings are stupid. They are stupid expensive. And there's, like... Like how there's a pink tax on all feminine products. They're more expensive because they're girly. There is an exorbitant wedding tax. Like a venue for a baby shower or whatever is not that expensive. But as soon as you say it's for a wedding, it's a million dollars. Is it because of the... Like, do they have to take extra liability insurance out or like, is it just because they know you're just because they know people will pay out the nose for a wedding? It's problematic as fuck. It's really bad. It's really bad. This is like this whole conversation is like the reason I am torn about what I would do for my wedding, because what I would like to do is have a destination wedding and only invite. like maybe a hundred people but the thing is a hundred people for

21:35 a destination wedding yeah oh that is nothing for a wedding i would invite like 12 people to a destination oh no well but that's my thing is that i would need to be able to afford to fly anyone out there who tells me that they can't afford to go Because I don't want anyone to miss it because they don't have the money. That's fair. Like and see, that's that's that's why I would invite like 12 people, because like I I would assume that I'm on the hook. Like this is this is where I come from with all this. And I think this is like just because of the way I was raised. If you're hosting an event, if you're putting on an event, you're on the hook for the event. So like if I'm having a destination wedding, if I'm saying I want to like I have to have my wedding in Cabo, Hawaii, wherever.

22:19 I believe that like. It will be my Delta Sky miles that are paid for to come out there. Do you know what I mean? I feel like a wedding is the one exception to that. Honestly, maybe because I feel like everyone's supposed to rally around you and be like seeing you off to your next stage of life or whatever. That's fair. I don't know. OK, but to answer the question, the original question I asked now, I wouldn't have paid for tickets for this this wedding. And just know if I ever do get married. I you're not paying for the ticket to go to wherever I'm getting married at. Yeah, I don't know. The drama. Oh, God. I have one thing I want to talk about. Talk about it. I've been watching the second season of Wednesday and I rewatched the first season because I wanted to like. remember what was happening and I cannot look away from number one Catherine Zeta -Jones wow she looks amazing she looks stunning but most importantly and what I want to talk about the costumes the clothes their costume designer eats every time it is so good so so good every single character looks so good and

23:50 so i looked it up and of course this woman designed the costumes for like johnny depp sweeney todd sleepy hollow all of these scarier horror movies and she has like a million oscars and stuff like that so it's like yeah obviously anyway colleen you ate good job colleen Um, when's the last time you felt super patriotic, Emma? I gotta tell you, never in my life. Never once have I felt patriotic while voting. Never once have I. Never. I'm going to tell you, my Apple music was on shuffle and the Whitney Houston version of the Star Spangled Banner came on from the 1991 Super Bowl. God, she has the pipes. I listened to that all the way through because I was like, what is what am I listening to? And I didn't like it didn't hit me until like, yeah, we got into like the chorus. And I was like, oh, my God, this is Whitney Houston at the 1991 Super Bowl. And then I have not felt that patriotic since I voted for Kamala Harris. I did not feel patriotic voting for Kamala Harris. I did. She's a cop. Well, did I vote for her? Yes. Yes. Is she a cop? Yes. Yes. I didn't feel patriotic voting for Hillary Clinton. Did I vote for her?

25:18 Yes. Is she scum of the earth? Yes. I've never once been like, I love my country. Fair. Francis Scott Key, you don't do it for me either. I loved my country when I was listening to Whitney Houston sing. I do love my country when I go to Taco Bell. That's helpful. Or Subway. Subway? Yeah. Whatever. Chan restaurants. Okay, I see what you're saying. Have you seen this article about the couple that sold their company for seven hundred and forty five million dollars, but they couldn't process it because they felt numb afterwards?

26:07 Yeah. Cry me a fucking river. This. I. So there's a couple who sold their company off to Salesforce, the CRM company for. seven hundred forty five million dollars and and then have the nerve to cry about it well the article is all about like this company became our identity like work became our identity and now we wake up and we have nothing and i'm like you have seven hundred forty five million dollars like after taxes ostensibly you will have at least 350 million dollars like let's just say you are doing the right thing and paying the amount of taxes you should be paying $350 million free and clear. You're telling me like a hundred dollar bill and wipe those tears, mama.

27:03 Find a hobby. Right. An expensive one. Even start collecting something. I don't know. Buy a house. Start another company. This is like what we talked about in the last episode. People have no idea what to do out of their life with their lives outside of being efficient at their job. Well, that's that's exactly where I was going with this. It comes back to this whole grind set thing where it's like, oh, what do we do now? And we know a couple of people like this. Like we used to work for a guy like this. i live with a person like this yeah my papaw's like this like we we know so many people like this and like on some level i do respect and appreciate it like i i love what the person that we used to work for what he built like i think he is because he's incredibly generous and he does so much but like at the same time some of his kids don't talk to him I never meant to get on this podcast and say that being hardworking is not an admirable trait. Right. It is. Yes. It is not admirable to be so hardworking. You forget how to be a person. I don't think that's hardworking, though.

28:06 I think that that is like I have nothing else. I'm going all in on this. And like, I think it stops becoming hardworking at a certain point and it becomes an obsession. It's like we've lost the plot of how to be. A person on planet Earth experiencing life for the first and only time. Right. And that it sucks because. Like you, it's this whole idea of like, oh, you can't even be proud of what you built to to the extent of a company like Salesforce, like one of the most powerful and one of the most well -respected companies in the world wants to buy your brand from you. You can't even be proud of that. You're like, I have nothing. Mind you, they have kids.

28:48 Yes. Throw yourself into parenthood. Hello. Yeah. There's so much you could do. What a cool opportunity to be like, oh, my God. Now I have time to spend time with my fucking kids. And I don't I will for the rest of my life. I will never have to worry about money for the rest of my life. For the rest of my kids life. They will probably never have to worry about money. And now. Instead, they're going to see this article on CNBC about how you hated your life after you stopped working the first time that they ever got to see you, probably. Well, and this is the thing is this is not the first time they've sold a brand for millions of dollars. And it's like, well, now we have to do something else. And I think this is what I struggle with is like. you will never find someone who's more of a capitalist pig than i am i love money i love shopping i love excess i love all of it like i i do and like that i yeah i love to order on amazon i think there's a package on my front porch right now there was and so we we do this whole song and dance of like Yeah, like this is this is who we are, but like you have to be realistic going into it.

29:57 I don't I don't want to lose who I am. I don't want to lose the relationships with my family. I don't want to do the whole song and dance if it comes at the cost of only doing the song and dance. It's literally your whole life. And like people don't take into account what their life is because to them, their life is how much money they have. And it's like, what about your family? What about having friends? What about a bucket list? What about like, what do you want to do in this life other than generate wealth? Right. Because what is the point of wealth if you never do anything? Right. What is the point of having money if all you do is go to work every day?

30:39 Well, and this was what I struggled with. And I had this conversation with the guy that we used to work with. more so like when i was when i knew i was leaving and i was like you what are you doing because like i it was right after he had me donate it was like a million 1 .2 million dollars to a high school for them to build a performing arts thing and i was like yeah do you ever use this money for you because he was the cheapest man on god's green earth to just know that yeah do you ever use this money for you he goes oh well you know i like i bought bought my wife a boat. And I was like, but for you, his splurge for himself was like buying real estate. Yeah. Yeah. And like, and he's proud of that golf course, but buying a golf course is giving yourself another job. Like I was proud of, it doesn't matter how proud you are. Now you are the owner of a golf course and that in itself is a job. You'll remember this. Cause when we shared an office and he walked by, I, had the article up that was like this golf course was voted the number one golf course in the state of indiana right do you remember this and i was so proud of him and he could not take pride in that yeah he was just like yeah he goes oh and it's like oh you don't care about that you don't care about the success you know you care about checking the box and that's what i struggled with with him because i was like there there was a lot of problematic stuff to him don't don't get me wrong about that and like he's an old white man yes and we fought a lot but like at

32:11 the end of the day I do believe he cared about me and I do believe I cared about him and it was problematic in its own way but like that is what it is so that being said I wanted him to be happy and I like I don't think these people are happy no and that's my problem with it is I think your only goal like Your major goal that all of your other goals should align with is being happy and content in your life on this earth. And I don't think you have sight of that. I don't think you are even going after that if all you think about is money to the point where you don't want to go on vacation because then you'll miss opportunities at work. You don't want to. Take a month off and be in your son's life when he has a baby, because then you'll miss an opportunity at work. You don't you're not interested in that. And I where is your happiness coming from? Because I don't see a smile on your face when you log in and check your bank account.

33:20 I don't see that. Like, where does it? I cannot believe that. numbers on the screen are making you genuinely happy no well and that's that's the thing is like I mean even when he did because he went to what was it was Italy or Spain one of the two and he called me every single day 30 times a day just to see how everything was going how the investments were doing like like the whole thing and I was like Take a fucking break. Do you remember he got COVID? His wife is tired of him. His wife. His wife put him out of the house while he had COVID. Yeah, his wife hadn't seen him in 50 years because he spent 12 hours a day in the office. And so he was home with COVID and his wife called the office and was like, please, God, take him back. I can't fucking deal with him anymore. Can you imagine that being? I forgot about that. But can you imagine that being your life? You have thrown your whole life away into money to the point where even your own wife can't stand you. But that's the thing is like. And that's it's like it's the devil, you know, is better than the devil. You don't know that whole saying. And like I, I love I love both of them. I do like to this day. I love it because they still call and check on me like they're there. I believe they're good people like say what you will. I do. It's hard because I'm just like, oh, you guys, this is the life that you live and you've

34:50 been running from what life is. And now that like their businesses are winding down, like the the individual we worked with is he's pushing 80 and he's like 74. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, and he's I mean, he had like seven strokes or something insane like that. He had a ton of strokes. And I'm just like, you are running from. who you are because i don't i think he doesn't have a sense of who he doesn't know who he is yes i think you're right and that's i think that's where i'm where i'm at with this article where it's just like the article talks about yeah we were in the car and my husband asked well okay what do we do next and i'm like what do you mean go to mallorca i don't know but i just and I understand the privilege that comes with this conversation, right? Because there are millions of people out there who are financially insecure and would do anything to, you know, live their life for a paycheck if it meant that they had a place to live and food to eat and they didn't have to worry and all of that. So I want to acknowledge that. But like.

36:05 I don't even I think even people in those situations where they are very financially insecure would agree that they wouldn't want to throw their family or their whole life or their identity away in order to attain that. Oh, I think this is the problem that we have in this country is it's so all or nothing. Like it's like you're either the person that we're talking about here or you're the person that is. poor homeless desolate on food stamps on medicaid and you feel like you're worthless there is no space to be yeah well i think we've lost sight of those two people being worth the same like at the end of the day they are both human beings who deserve the same thing right and maybe this comes with like the conversation around like the erasure of the middle class because i i'm i'm gonna be real i do think that is happening yeah a hundred percent and So I guess I don't know what the answer is, but like I do know that. I'm comfortable financially, I'm fine, like I'm I'm happy with the amount of money I have in my bank account and I've never in my life struggled and I understand that. I do know that. After law school, I. I don't ever want to be the person who goes home and wakes up and all I do for the next 18 hours is obsess over how much money can I make? I don't want

37:38 to do it. Yeah, I completely agree. And so, yeah, I mean, we are two people who are financially stable, at least you come from money. I don't come from money, but I'm taken care of. I'm not having to. worry about it necessarily i just wanted to acknowledge that there are people who genuinely have to worry about money and they would choose to have these champagne problems over wondering where their next meal is going to come from etc sure that doesn't mean that this problem doesn't exist though because it definitely does we have people who are just throwing their lives away for a check and it's sad right are we complaining I've done nothing but complain all day. Complain again. What I wanted to complain about are the seasons. Blame global warming or don't. I don't really care what your stance is.

38:35 Summer is way too long. Winter is way too long. Why is it either 100 degrees or zero degrees outside? I am tired of it. It used to be once August hit the first day of school, you would like get a little chill in the air. You'd be able to smell fall coming. Not anymore. It is 85 degrees, mama. And by the time it goes down, it will go down to 40 degrees. Yeah, the swings are hard, especially in Indiana. I hate it. As someone with allergies, as someone who doesn't like to be outside if it's too hot or too cold, I'm angry. I want fall back and I want spring back. I love fall and spring, personally. That's what I'm saying, but we don't get them anymore.

39:29 Well, I don't. Yeah, it's hard. Maybe like two weeks. If that, I mean, in New York, it was you had like I mean, and I'm not exaggerating. You had like one one good day in the summer where like everyone was out. You called into work. It was like everyone was out running around the spring. It was like mid April. You would get that one really, really good day because it was either oppressively cold or oppressively hot. And then it would go into summer where it was like the entire city smelled like pee. And then you had. probably in the fall two ish good weeks that's what i'm saying yeah and like it's always storming during those two weeks too like it's never actually that good and then it's 30 degrees Like there's no in between anymore. And I hate it. I want to see a high of 66 degrees and a low of 40. That is my ideal day. And I understand that is colder than most people's ideal day.

40:30 But I'm telling you, my day doesn't exist anymore. Well, we'll take a trip to somewhere where your ideal day does exist, because I have a feeling it is in a place that you hate, Utah. Their summers are hot as hell. But, like, I'm talking about, like, in the fall we could go to, like, we could have a live show in Salt Lake City. You know where I'm convinced they have my perfect day? France. Ireland. Ireland, yes. Because I'm okay. I'm actually okay with a little gloom and doom. I don't need the sun out all the time. And I feel like they're pretty temperate. Like, I'm sure it gets hot. And I'm sure they don't have AC. But, like. Please. Please. Oh, anyway, what do you want to complain about? I truly thought today I was going to have nothing to complain about. I said, wow, this is the first thing that or the first time on the podcast ever. He had a pocket full of sunshine. Yeah, I was like, what? What a day I'm going to have. I pull out of my fucking driveway. Do you want to know what was back? Well, the goddamn tandem bike people.

41:38 Oh, and so this and people are in love. Shut up. No. This is not what it's about for me, because I am convinced and I am not exaggerating. They were listening to this podcast because these people were all over the goddamn road. I couldn't pass them. I couldn't do anything. And then when I gave them a little because I was like, they're not wearing helmets. These people will die. Like, I'm actually worried about these people who are retirees like God bless them. I. They don't live on my street. I know that, but I don't know where they live, but I'm just like, I'm sure they're, they're the, the ball of their neighborhood. I love them, whatever, hate them. They are all over the fucking street. And today I gave him just a little toot on the horn, just a little toot toot. And the way that they stopped the bike in the middle of the street, the guy throws his hands up in the air. He goes, you're going to kill someone. And I said, You're on a tandem fucking bike in the middle of the street. And it wasn't a full blown fight like I've had. I've had hundreds of these fights on my road before.

42:47 But I was just like. I'm going to I'm going to pass you and I'm going to hope that this conversation goes no further. Because I'm not going to kill someone. I'm going to kill you. And. Maybe this speaks to a larger sense of entitlement thing that I have where or that I have with other people where I'm like, oh, you think you're entitled to be in the entire road. You think that no one else has anywhere to be. You think that you are the most important person on God's green earth because you're on this fucking tandem bike that you do not know how to control. Because I'm convinced because I thought a lot about this since I listened to the episode where we originally talked about this. I thought about. You know, maybe maybe I'm being too hard on these people. And it's like it's these specific people. And because surely to God, a normal person on a tandem bike or two normal people on a tandem bike know how to control it and not be all over the fucking road. Yeah, it sounds like they're still figuring out their tandem bike. Maybe they are in love, but not synchronized. I don't know. They need a divorce. Yeah, this is their first sign. Are you ready for reality roundup? i am okay so we're on episode one i'm sorry season one episode three of real housewives of salt lake city it's called everybody needs a switzerland i don't know why i put isle in front of season anyway um we get

44:19 the opening shots and what are you talking about what what are you talking about did you just do that yeah mine doesn't say that oh OK, never mind. We get the opening shots. Lisa and John are driving around and Lisa needs a Diet Coke and tells Henry that he really needs to work on his Ten Commandments. And he comes up with thou shalt not smoke and thou shalt not do anything bad. Like looking at porn. I'm like, OK, sometimes your kid just says something that you can't really hold your laugh in about. Like Jack the other day, he tripped on something and like hit his rib on his scooter, I think. And he started crying, but also he farted a million times when it happened.

45:16 Poor Jack. I know. Just like all came out of both ends. So, like, he dries his tears, he's sitting with me, and of course he's blaming his pretend sister Gabby for the whole thing. And he goes, Gabby! You made me cry and fart. I love that Gabby's such a little client. And I died laughing. I could not hold my laugh because it reminded me of that episode of Parks and Rec where Aziz Ansari's character is saying that Jerry had a fart attack because he had a heart attack and he farted. I could not stop laughing. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. I love that so much. Anyway, yeah. Kids are so funny.

46:01 Meredith and Brooks are working out, in air quotes, where they're laying on a table with electrode things attached to you to kill fat cells. And Brooks says this is the most he's worked out in five months. Have you ever done one of those things? No. Have you? Yeah. And do you know the science behind it? It shocks fat cells and you pee a lot. I know you lose water weight. I don't know that it actually has any beneficial effect, though. It's certainly not making you stronger. So God, no. Yeah. Whitney's planning a party and she goes to an antique store. That's also a speakeasy. And I hate a theme so much. Where are they going? Are you where you go into a store and you have to pretend it's the prohibition?

46:51 Oh, yeah. I love a theme store. Don't make me a part of the scene. Right. Yeah. It's weird. I don't like if you like it, I love it. Whatever. No. We go over to where Heather's planning a baby shower. Right. Because like they're all pregnant. Five out of the 20 employees are pregnant and they're pregnant with boys. So Heather wants to plan something special. Jen shows up. And this is the thing where I know for a fact at this point, Jen was the person that this show was built around because Jen shows up, has no connection to beauty lab employees. Yeah, she has. She doesn't know. Yeah. Anyway, Jen's aunt drove her to Heather's house. And I ask, is this is this the aunt that had both of her legs amputated?

47:44 And you bitch. But also that aunt does have prosthetic legs. I think they talk about that. Yeah, you see him at some point, but like this isn't the same man, right? No, I don't think you can drive with prosthetic legs. You absolutely can. I'm looking it up. While you look it up, I'll tell you. Jen makes her aunt walk her to the door and she's an absolute asshole going, hurry up. My feet are freezing as she's wearing open toed heels in the literal Utah snow. Oh, it is possible to drive with prosthetic legs, but it depends on the individual's specific circumstances and the type of prosthetic. I have a feeling that if you have weathered the storm with one Miss Jennifer Shaw, you can probably drive with prosthetic legs. You understand what hardship and turmoil is. Right. Yeah, Jen is. She has her toes out when it's 10 degrees. Yes. And it goes, hurry up. My feet are freezing. She's so mean to her.

48:51 She is so mean to everyone. She's mean to like the Shaw squad, too. She is evil to them. Yes. Anyway. So they they're planning the party. Heather buys a little role or not Rolls Royces. Range rovers for the kids. It's adorable. The little like drivable ones. My nephew had one of those. It was adorable. There's one like behind you. Yeah. Yeah. Where are we at? I scrolled too far. Sorry. Talks about Mormon messaging around women. Oh, yeah. And. And she gets into the how her most important work is raising a family. And then she kind of she talks about how life kind of stopped for her when she was getting divorced and she started getting emotional. And I thought, like, I've read the book and everything that I think this was all much closer together than I thought, because I was like, oh, she's been divorced for years at this point. Well, it's fuzzy because. I do think she's been divorced or at least separated for years at this point because the divorce is settled. Like she's not going through it anymore. And that takes a long time. Sure. Especially in Utah. Their divorce laws are very hard to navigate. And did she have beauty lab while she was still married? I don't think so. I don't think so. So like she has been

50:22 divorced for years. I feel like it does seem raw, but I feel like she it's less to do with her ex -husband and more to do with like her internal feelings that she needs to deal with. Oh, absolutely. She gets into how in a confessional she didn't get married for love, but she was doing what she thought was expected of her. And we also get into her talking about how she feels like the expectation was that she stayed married, even though she was absolutely miserable in her marriage. And I've seen this play out a million times. I've seen marriages where people stay together because they think the church wants them to or like their family wants them to, whatever the case may be. And I have seen marriages that have fallen apart because they thought they were supposed to stay together. Well, Jen asks her, she's like, if you could have stayed in your marriage, even though you were miserable, would you have? And she was like, yes, without a doubt.

51:22 Yes. And that's so it was like the most eye opening scene for me to see, because she talks about how unhappy she was and how horrible it was and how they didn't align on anything. And she still is saying, if given the opportunity, I would have stayed in my marriage, which is insane. And I think she resents a little bit that it was Billy's choice to leave because they do get into that eventually where. yeah well it's clear in this episode to me because she acts like she would have done anything to stay in that marriage because that's what the church wants her to do right which sucks um But Jen was a nightmare in the first couple of episodes. I think she did a really, really good job of being supportive of Heather right here and being like, no, you need to be a good example for your daughters.

52:12 Like you're doing the right thing. And like with this divorce, I think. Yeah. Jen did the right thing here. She did say she was like, would you tell your daughters to do the same thing? And that's where like Heather had a pause and was like, no, I wouldn't tell my daughters to be miserable in a marriage. And I think that really did kind of like. Open something up for her. Oh, for sure. We go to Meredith's house where she's making cocktails. Meredith starts the blender. And it's this whole trope. They've done it on every single city of housewives. But she starts the blender without the top being on. And Chloe and Brooks come down and they are the opposite of helpful. Like they are the most unhelpful children. Brooks is like, Mom, what are you doing?

53:01 I do believe obviously Meredith is a good mother and I'm sure Seth is a good dad, but yeah, those kids don't know how to clean up anything. No, because they've had help their whole lives. Like Meredith has had a housekeeper forever. That's fine. But like the way Brooks and Chloe were just like, mom, you made a mess. I also wrote Meredith, like Meredith will be my my Jesse for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, where like every time they come on screen, I just write. Meredith has a really beautiful family. Yeah.

53:43 Like they're all very pretty. Yeah. Jen shows up and brings her assistance with her to spend time with Meredith. She brings Marillo and Crystal and I. I don't, why does she bring them everywhere? Why is she always bringing the shot spot around? I think she thinks it's like a status symbol to have a staff, which is weird. Okay. Jen gives us a confessional where she explains that she and Meredith have very similar situations where their husbands are constantly away for work. And then we cut to Jen doing high kicks on the couch where we find out she's not wearing underwear. And Brooks goes into a confessional says and says that he's uncomfortable because Jen's vagina is in his face. And I feel like. This situation and we we come you will come to find out that this situation is blown up over the next two seasons. Oh, yeah, 100 percent. It doesn't stop.

54:40 Do you want to know what I think about it? Tell me what you think. I think Brooks doesn't like Jen. OK, I think that's where this all started, is that Brooks is a little protective of his mom, which is fine. Sure. And doesn't like. his mom being friends with jen and he thought this would be a way to get them to stop being friends i never even once considered that that's actually probably a really good point just based on how everything plays out but i i looked at it from like if you look at the angles of where brooks is sitting of where jen is sitting of where like of where her cut is facing and he she obviously wasn't trying to flash this little boy right she mind you they're by the way they're all adults he's 21 years old yeah but she wasn't trying to flash him she wasn't trying to flash anybody he could have just moved to a different spot if it was really that serious like it if he saw anything though i feel like just based on the angles based on everything it was so quick like he saw her cooch for one second yeah and like what okay yeah it's not like she hiked up her skirt or anything like she was just it's not like he was at a burlesque show with the the mormon wives hitting a joint out of a vag like it was wild but it becomes this becomes a major plot point over the next two seasons and at the

56:12 end of this like brooks and chloe leave because they need to go to best buy to get away from jen and i was like oh jesus christ like here's the thing i get it if you're uncomfortable yeah sure leave but like it felt like a little much you couldn't just go to your bedroom yeah you couldn't just you're going best buy well i don't know the last time i went to a best buy i had to go for some reason i don't remember what it was for i don't know We go to Lisa taking Jack out for a driving lesson. Jack says he has a strong pull out game as he's packing out of the driveway. Oh, my God. Just can't stop. Won't stop. No, I could not get in a car and drive with Lisa. The passenger seat. There's no fucking way. Why? Because I know for a fact she'd be like, do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Like, it would be like I'm talking as someone who's had a driver's license for 20 years. No, I feel like she's only like that because he's learning to drive. But I don't know. You're telling me she's not like that with John Barlow.

57:17 Hundred percent. She's throwing things out the window with John Barlow. I just I wouldn't be able to do it. I would love to be in a car with Lisa. Could not be the driver in a car with Lisa. No way. And then. I fully forgot Henry was in the backseat, just like living his little life. He's just having a time. Mary goes out for dinner with Meredith, and I feel like these are two people I would love to have dinner with. No, I don't like Mary. I really don't like it. No. OK, you haven't gotten into. Seasons four and five were like, I shouldn't take four seasons for me to like someone. It shouldn't. You're 100 percent right. I don't. I get where you're coming from. And I think I looked at this season like looking back because, you know, I've watched I've watched these episodes 4000 times. I looked at it through the lens of like everything I know now. Yeah, I. I think Mary would like even even knowing her just from season one. I think Mary would be so funny just to sit down and listen to her talk. She's so funny. I'm just like not interested in someone who I pretty much know without a shadow of a doubt. 90 % of the time she's just not being authentic with me. Okay.

58:48 She's putting on a facade. She is getting her Chanel out of one of her 16 closets. And meeting me and telling me what I want to hear or being catty as fuck just depends which Mary you get. Like, I don't, I just don't like her. That's fair. And I also feel like she, I'm not going to sit here and defend religion ever, but she doesn't act like the first lady of a church either. I don't disagree with that. She does not take that seriously, which to me is strange. I agree. Especially after you inherited that from your grandma. you would think you would take it more seriously yeah anyway i also and again me defending mary i think she is damaged i think that there is a lot there and i'm not defending her hurt people hurt people but that doesn't make me like her that's fair um One thing that Andy Cohen has talked a lot about is making sure producers include footage of Real Housewives ordering.

59:48 And I love that just in general. I love knowing what people eat. Oh, 100%. I want to know what your order is. If anything, I wish they showed us the whole menu and then showed us what you ordered. Yes. Because I feel like I would understand your brain so well. I have on many occasions, like when they show the shot of like the restaurant, I will look up their menu. They go to this place called Walter's. By the way, when we go to Salt Lake City for a live show one day, we're going to this place called Walter's. Walter has since passed. But the restaurant is it's real Italian food. And I want to go so bad. Mary talks about how she's been super close to her son, Robert Jr., for his whole life. And now that he's 17 and dating a girl for the first time, he isn't hanging around her as much. And she's having a hard time with that. Which I totally get. Yeah, I totally get the way she goes about it. I do not support, but we're not there yet. Yes, I agree. Meredith gives really good advice, which was not shocking to me hearing the way she talked.

1:00:51 I was like, oh, she's a very thoughtful individual. Yeah. And I feel like she like would meet anyone on the street, like hear a problem, be like, this is what you need to do. And it would be the best advice. I feel like she is an empath. And she also like. isn't afraid to tell you exactly how it is like she's she will say the hard thing mary gets into because we we don't hear a lot about this until like later on but we get into mary talking about how her marriage has turned into more of a partnership and her marriage was arranged and leaving isn't an option i put arranged in quotations because i I have a lot of questions about this. Well, here's the thing. It was arranged for someone. It didn't have to be you, Mary.

1:01:37 You wanted it. You chose this. I... Your mom could have taken it. Your mom is mad you didn't let her take it. Okay. That is true. Again, I feel like Mary is damaged. yeah but aren't we all sure you poor thing you poor poor thing you poor millionaire you're gonna have to move to one of your other closets to cry it out for a change of scenery I feel so sorry for you um She she talks about how she has beauty in all of her mess, and she recognizes that her marriage is weird, but she did it because she trusted her grandma. And she shares that she disconnected from her mom when she was 19 years old because her mom wanted to take Mama Cosby's spot in the church. And this is where I start to get super uncomfortable, because in a confessional, one of the producers asked, like, did you guys sleep together on the first night? And she goes, no, I was on my period. For a month. For 28 days she was on her period. She says she was on her period for a month. However, you chose it. And why is leaving not an option, Mary? Why? I don't know. And like part of me wonders if... He gets the money. Well, that. Well, yeah, because it's...

1:03:00 I don't know how that works after you're married and divorced because like half of the assets ostensibly would be yours. But... My I have a lot of questions about like, did she choose this or was she pushed into this by Robert Sr.? Like, that's because you think like she didn't step up. He chose her. Yes, I have a because I'm like, what? What night? She was she was married. Like Mary was married before this. What 19 year old would choose that? Tell me. Like, unless it's truly for the money. I mean, think about how many 19 year olds are. Looking for sugar daddies.

1:03:40 It's the same thing. But like, think about like my grandma, Kathy, Larry's wife. Let's just say Larry dies and they're sitting, I mean, they're sitting on not as much money as like my granny and pap will have, but they're sitting on a pretty good chunk of money. Like neither one of them have to work. And let's just say Kathy comes to me and says, Hey, I'm lonely. Like for me, I'm like, I wouldn't choose that. No. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but who forced her up on the altar? Well, and that's where I come back to. Like, I think the religion plays into it a little bit because I'm like, I truly if you. She doesn't cite religion as the reason she can't leave. But at some point they start to talk about how people used to believe Mama Cosby was God.

1:04:28 And. That's where this church gets into. And like, I wonder if Mary believes that. I wonder if Mama Cosby, if she believed, oh, yeah, like God's telling me to marry this man. I wonder if this is purely speculation. Yeah, no. And I do believe he is strange for going along with this whole arrangement. And I don't think he's just going along with it. I do believe he's perpetuating it. Yes. However, Mary is a grown woman. Sure. Who has chosen not to stand up for herself. And so at some point you have to turn the weirdness off. Okay. Like. That's fair. If you're going to choose to set this example, then set it. Sure.

1:05:14 And I just don't, I don't know. Something about it just does not sit right with me. The whole thing is weird to me. And I do have sympathy for her. I don't like her, but I do have sympathy for her. Yes. And if for nothing else than to say like, oh, the entire world is talking about how fucked up and weird your marriage is. I feel bad for that. Yes and no, because she did choose to be on the show and she knew that she was going to have to talk about it. I just, I don't know. Part of me wishes she would have just been a lot more forthright with about everything. The whole situation from start to finish. I 100 % agree. Because. No matter how deep it goes, no matter how fucked up it is, people will understand if you give them something to understand. Like people will either side with you or against you either way. So you should just let it out. And I think that we get that in season four. I will tell you that like in season. between seasons four and five like we start to really understand who mary is as a person as and more so as a mother and as i think she's an excellent mom oh you what i've seen when you get really into it though like it you find out how good she actually is Yeah, I can 100 % see that. I haven't seen season four, but I can 100 % see Mary being an amazing mom. And I do see that in seasons one and two, what I've seen. She's a great mom. My problem

1:06:45 is not with her as a mother. It's not with her as a wife. I don't care how a woman is as a wife. I'll just say that. It's her as a person. She comes off like she's always trying to hide something. I do agree with that. At all times. And people like that just make me so severely uncomfortable. Okay. Because I'm very open book. I'll tell anybody anything. Oh, for sure. And so like people who just always come off as not being 100 % honest or like they're hiding something just, I don't like it. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. Anyway, Mary invites Meredith to come to her church. And I feel like Meredith was really, really supportive.

1:07:27 And like, I, I appreciate this about Meredith because like, it would be like me being like, yeah, I'll go to your church. Cause it's not her religion. It's not anything to do with her, but I feel like she was really excited to check out Faith Temple. Yeah. I feel like it's like every time I've ever been invited to church where it's like, yeah. As a guest. I will come as a spectator. Thank you. Yes, that is 100 % the vibe. We go over to Meredith's house where Meredith and Brooks are making guacamole. And Brooks gets into how he took a semester off to support his mom during the separation. Diva, you wanted to be on the show, girl. They talked about it in the first episode, too. I don't know why he brings it back up. Like, OK. OK, girl. They unpack how Brooks and Chloe were uncomfortable with Jen.

1:08:14 her cooch being out and then he starts getting annoying about the high kicks like I if okay here's where I fall on this issue he could have just said to his mom hey the whole thing was weird and it made me uncomfortable more than that I think I think he needs to come to his mom and be like I don't like her I don't like being around her and I live here too but if it's for the cameras just say Yeah. That her cut being out made me uncomfortable. He went on and on and on and on and on. And then he turned it into you're the CEO of Meredith Marks Brands. You don't have time for this. And I was like, oh, I don't like this because now you're trying to say like who your mom can and can't hang out with. Which is weird. Right. It would be so much easier to just say. Hey, Jen makes me uncomfortable and I live here too. Right. Can she not come over? Yeah. And I feel like Meredith as a mother would 100 % be like, okay, yeah, I don't want to put you in a situation. Well, that's ultimately where she ended up, but it was just like him pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing.

1:09:25 Yeah. And then Jen was supposed to come over for a sleepover and Brooks decides that simply isn't going to happen. So Meredith has to text her and cancel, which becomes. a whole thing yeah i would think this is this was surprising to me because i genuinely thought jen would try to see it from like her son's perspective oh no and like i genuinely thought that she would be like oh okay and be like if anything like a little embarrassed about it that's that's not what jen was told though jen was told oh chloe's gonna be home for the weekend yeah no that's no because but also at the same time when jen found out about this and this is we get into this at the beginning of season two but spoiler we find out that jen starts retweeting not retweeting i'm sorry she starts liking homophobic contents about her uh homophobic tweets about brooks and yeah and all of this and he hasn't come out at this point on the show wow I'll let you take that one. I will say it was assumed. But that's not fair. No one should be outed by assumption.

1:10:44 Absolutely. However. Okay. With that being said. Okay, baby. Yeah. Whatever you need. But he does talk about it in season two and he's like. I never got to like have that be my news. And that makes me sad. Sure. I don't ever want to see someone be outed against their will. Right. 100 percent. But so it's never this was never about. Until Jen saw it on the on the show, we never knew why she was being uninvited. Yeah. Right. So. We go over to Mary's house. Mary and Robert Senior are talking about finding a new school for Robert Junior because he's not learning anything where he's at. And he's literally 17 years old.

1:11:28 So he's he's a junior in high school, at least. Right. Well, it's not about the school. Well, obviously, it's about his little girlfriend. Well, it's we you will come to find out more later that it's not just this like this. This is season five. I think you figure out what it's really about. Well, I remember. Not long after this, Mary starts talking about how she doesn't like his little girlfriend. Well, no, she's talking about it at dinner with Meredith. You're you're going to really find out why, though. It's bad. Oh, OK. So but that's the thing is, like, I don't like this whole conversation. Like, oh, let's move. I agree with you. It's 100 percent about the girlfriend, because I don't think they knew the depth of what was going on here at this point.

1:12:18 That being said. It is a weird time. Like, why would you be like, yeah, I know you've been at this school your whole life and you're going to graduate next year. But how about we move you to a boarding school? Can you imagine? No. We get a confessional from Mary about how. Oh, Jesus Christ. She had to she had to get to know Robert Senior after they got married and how if she had to pick a guy, this is the guy that she would pick. And after Mary had Robert Junior, Mary. drifted into being a mom and Robert Sr. drifted into being Robert Sr. I think it's an age thing with that, to be fair. Like he had done the song and dance of being at least a stepdad when he was with her grandma. And so it's like he's not he's not in a stage of his life where like he wants to take care of a baby. And that's just where we're at. Yeah. But Robert Jr. comes down and Mary tries to convince him that he should go to the sporting school in Los Angeles. And I forgot that I wrote this. If if Robert Sr.

1:13:32 is Mary's step grandfather, does that make Robert Jr. Does that make him Robert Jr.'s great grandfather and his dad? Or like, I don't understand how that works. Step great grandpa and also dad. I don't know. That's a lot to unpack. I don't know what to do with that. Yeah, me neither. I might cut that, too. I'm calling the police. We I don't know what that is. We go over to. I'm sorry, Mary's church and Whitney, Whitney's dad and Meredith are all showing up for the service. When he thought it would be a good idea to bring her dad to church because he's recovering from addiction. I go back and forth on this because like, yeah, it's a great place to find community.

1:14:19 I don't like how predatory religion can be with people that are addicts. Yes. But I also like have firsthand seen someone who was addicted. finding the church and that like pulling them out of addiction which is amazing i love that if you need that then i want you to have it sure 100 and that's where i'm like it's a case -by -case basis for me like i don't like churches finding these people i like people finding the church that's where i'm at with it right for sure um mary's Church is a lot like the Nazarene tent revivals that I used to go to as a little kid. There's people crying and jumping around.

1:15:02 It's a lot. People are getting up and speaking in tongues. It's a lot. Yeah. And it's a lot of yelling. To me, it looks like emotional manipulation. But I've never been to a church like that. And I don't want to yuck someone's yum. If that's how you worship your God, then by all means. To me, it just seems like you're getting people worked up on purpose so that they will feel something. One day we're going to get into cry nights at church camp. Oh, I've been through that, actually. I went to a church camp, a sleepaway camp one time. They did not. They did not appreciate me at camp, whatever it was called. I'm not going to dox them. They didn't like me. Actually, one anecdote from that trip that I remember so vividly is we were sitting like on the Wabash River and we were supposed to be like reading our Bibles or something. And it was dead silent. And all of a sudden, my dumb ass just chimes in and goes, what's the difference between this and Catholicism?

1:16:16 Oh, they did not like that. They didn't like it at all. Anyway, moving on. Yeah, they're at the church. It's a lot. It's a lot. Mary gets down to the congregation and goes over and starts praying over Whitney's dad and then just starts screaming, heal, heal. Yes, ma 'am. And I have seen this in real life. I have seen this happen. We're like. I I've seen, I've seen it go one of two ways, either like the person just starts crying, falls on their knees and like whatever, or the person like throws themselves on the ground, starts shaking and like, and the demons are released.

1:16:59 Like I, I am telling you it is wild to see in real life. Cause I'm just like, I can't even imagine. I will tell you my uncle Kirby has talked very, very. Frankly, about like, yeah, when I was a little kid and like we because Dad Bolin used to take them to these church revivals. Dad Bolin took us to one of these revivals and they brought me up on the stage and they did this. And I just started speaking in tongues because I thought I was supposed to. Yeah, I have been to one church where I know that they acted like that from third party stories. But like when I went. I was with like the pastor's son and some other friends. And so we just like played basketball. And I am so glad I wasn't in that congregation because I know I would just like look confused. And that's not the energy you're supposed to get. You were supposed to be crying.

1:17:55 Right. And I can't. My face is very readable. There's no lying. But all of my feelings about religion aside, you saw. the reaction that Whitney's dad had to it where he just starts crying. Yeah. And I was like, that is beautiful because like he felt like, and this is what I do feel about Mary as a pastor where she makes people feel love. And I think that like, granted that can be used for manipulation. I won't take that away from anyone, but I feel like Mary does turn that on. and yeah he needed that in this moment he felt seen and supported in that moment and i do feel like there's something to be said for as ironic as it is but for an addict going somewhere and not just being immediately judged and looked down upon but instead people like genuinely wanting to help you yeah Even if sometimes their motives aren't the best, like they're just trying to prove something. It's still like she genuinely wanted him to heal in that moment. Yeah. Instead of being like, oh, you little crackhead. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. We head over to Jen's house where the Shaw squad is helping her plan or look for the party for. I don't know if this is for the baby shower for for Whitney's

1:19:26 party. But there are literally six people there, and she says that they all work for her every single day. How much is she paying these people, or do you think she's paying them? We've already brought this up. I don't know. I go back and forth on it. I don't think that they're making a livable wage, but also she was funneling in a lot of money. That's true. I don't know. I like I know some of them came to live with her at one point. Like, I mean, she's got this massive chalet. So maybe that like she's just like, oh, here you work for me. You get a place to live and like food. I don't know. Like, I watched a Netflix show that was like that. I can't. Oh, sirens. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're like a live in assistant. But that was just one girl. Like, I can't imagine six people living in your house.

1:20:15 Also. Two of the people had their faces blurred out and like part of me wonders like because they wouldn't say they will. They wouldn't sign the release. But like part of me wonders is like, did they know what was to come this early on? Well, I just wonder because Jen is awful to these people. I wonder what the turnover rate was like, like if they were done working for her before the season was even done filming. Maybe. Yeah. Oh, God. We at some point I want to watch this. We'll probably watch this after season two, but like the the Hulu documentary about like what was going on, because like you get into like her screaming at one of the assistants and like, yeah, I wonder like how often that was actually going on. Well, yeah, I don't I feel like she can't be paying these people a ton of money and she's so mean to them. Like you got to get people who are only there for a couple of months before they throw in the towel. I part of me wonders if Jen is someone who gay guys absolutely live for, like gay guys love a fabulous woman who is larger than life. And that is Jennifer Shaw.

1:21:33 And I wonder if she like. use that to her advantage yeah I wonder if she's like oh come with mama shot and like I wonder if she was like better to the gay guys than she was to like Stu or whoever I don't know I don't know that was her right hand man and she was so mean to him oh well she got what she had coming if she was ever mean to him like because we find out like you'll see when the arrest happens but you'll find out that like He sold her out like you would not believe. And I believe that maybe he would have gone lighter on her if not for the way she treated him. I don't know. I love Jen Shaw, but that's one thing I cannot get past. Once you have a working relationship with her, she is mean. Just mean. We go over to Beauty Lab for the baby shower and everyone shows up and the party actually looks really fun. And I feel like it was very cute. And I feel like Heather, if she is. I say this. She's good at everything. Like, everything we've seen her do, she's good at. Yeah, pretty much. I feel like she is probably one of the best party planners.

1:22:51 It's like, yeah, my mom putting on a party. Like, I feel like she was always the mom in the neighborhood where everyone wanted to be invited to her birthday parties. I feel like she's just very thoughtful. And she's, like, a very generous lady. Because, like, she had to have a pretty nice divorce settlement. And she's making money off of Beauty Lab. Billie's still taking care of her, too, at this point. yeah and so like she's not sparing a dime on anything either right which is yeah and so like you get all of those factors together and yeah she's amazing um heather gives us a confessional where she says that she that everything going on going on in her life has made her reevaluate things and she's decided that she wants to be supportive to her daughters figuring out what they believe on their own and for a person who is as religious as heather was yeah that is Huge.

1:23:42 Right. And this is something that like I'm actually like it made me think a lot about Huck and like how Huck is my dad, dear listener. But like where he came to where he said, I cannot push my kids into the Nazarene church because of like how damaging I know it can be. And he let me and Zachary figure out what we believed in on our own. And I like that's impressive as hell. Well, both of my parents were. catholic growing up and they both like were so tired of feeling guilty and evil all the time that they both stepped away from the church and so that's how i grew up too they were like we're not gonna judge you for whatever you pick if you pick anything but like you gotta figure it out on your own because we don't know what's going on but i think that's how it should be like i think like if you force a kid to go to church it's like they're only perpetuating like whatever i think i don't know like it's hard because some people do have like a really good relationship with the church and so i get i also understand the viewpoint of like wanting to share that with your children and like have it be a part of your life and routine sure So that's hard. And it's also hard, like, if you're going to church every Sunday and you want to be that person, I want you to be that person. And so it's like, when you have kids, I don't think you should stop that necessarily.

1:25:14 But that's hard. It's hard. For a non -religious person, it's very easy for me to look at Jack and be like, I'm happy with whatever you want to choose. I'm the same way. But if I were going to church every week. It's not that I would be like, this is what you must believe. And I need you to fall into this wholeheartedly. But like, I would take him with me every week. Sure. But like, I don't know. We'll get into it one day. Like, but it's. I don't like being told this is what you believe. That's what I think. And that's what I was told my whole life by my grandparents. Yeah. And like by my dad to a certain degree. And then one day he was just like, actually, no, we're not doing that anymore. But I do think Heather is very admirable. It is like she really broke through the level of I don't want to say brainwashing, but that's really the only word I have. She really like broke through that with the LDS and they were like and was like, I just want my daughters to be happy. Yeah. And I really respect that. I do, too. Heather, Whitney and Jen break off on their own. And Jen asks if Mary's going to be at Whitney's party. And Whitney's like, I like Mary. Like, what's the problem?

1:26:28 Like, and then Mary or Jen says that Mary's irrelevant and then proceeds to go on. about how Mary attacked her family. And I'm just like, can we, for the love of God, like, can we please let the hospital smell comment go? Like, can we please, please? Like, is it the most horrendous thing that anyone has ever said to anyone? Because we're going to get into some of the shit that Jen Shaw said. Right. Well, that's the thing is coming from Jen. Like if it were Heather, who would never hurt a fly. You know, she can be a little messy, but she's not saying mean shit left and right. Right. And you, like, sort of came for her instead of snide comment. I would understand her demanding an apology more than I understand Jen Shaw demanding an apology. Right. I don't understand. When are you going to apologize for everything you've said? Well. Then we get into Jen saying that she's not OK with Meredith being friends with Mary and going to Mary's church because that's a personal dig against her. And she she says you can't be friends with her and be friends with me. I'm not saying to choose. Just tell me. Tell you what? If you're not telling me to choose, if you're not if you're telling me not to choose, then what do I need to tell you? But like at the same time. I don't like this. Like, here's the thing. You know where I stand on being friends with people that you don't fuck with.

1:27:59 I'm not going to I'm not going to be friends with someone who has been rotten as hell to you. That being said, I will never, ever, ever tell someone who to be friends with. Right. And you just have to like you just have to have your own friendships with people. And that just has to be OK. Yeah, like, let the... I don't know. And, like, if you're really that serious, Jen, watch their actions and decide for yourself. You say, I'm not okay with being friends with Meredith if she's friends with Mary. And then when you watch her be friends with Mary, you have to stop being friends with Meredith. But at the same time... I'm telling you right now, if anyone on God's green earth is capable of being friends with someone and like separating their feelings about another person from a friendship, it is Meredith Marks. Well, yeah, but I'm just saying I don't think Jen is even Jen is looking for a compliment here. She's like digging for a compliment is the way I see it. Yes, because she's like asking if you would ever choose her over Mary. It's an honor to be in Jen's circle.

1:29:03 Christ. OK, so then we head over to the to the Roaring Twenties party. I know earlier I said I hate a theme, but like I I think the party itself seemed fun. Yeah. I didn't like the whole entrance situation. I don't. That's I agree. That's the thing that I can't deal with. I didn't like the like you have to walk into a gift shop and tell them you're there for a party and then they open the secret door and like. The more and more I think about it, I think that's the whole kitsch of it. It's like, oh, the gift shop doesn't actually sell anything. Yeah. Like, it's there for the bar. No, I get it. It's just like, they're just such completely different vibes.

1:29:46 It was, I don't know. Right. But then you go in, and I couldn't stand the voice Whitney was putting on. The whole, hey. Like, she was trying to be Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. Like, I couldn't stand it. Well. I just wanted to make sure that wasn't going to fall out. That's fine. When he's doing a voice, it's okay. It's a lot. There's a stripper cowboy, and I was not mad about him. Yeah. And then... But, like, why are they there, the male strippers? I don't understand. I wasn't sure how it fit into the theme, yeah. I don't think they were all strippers. I think some of them were just... Dancers, whatever. Yeah, but they were all naked, and I didn't under... Whatever.

1:30:31 Sure, Whitney. Whatever you want. Yeah. So then Jen shows up late as always and sees Meredith talking to Mary and feels very attacked by this. Then be attacked. I don't know what to tell you, Jen. I really don't know. I don't know. And that's that's where we leave off with episode three, dear listener. Yeah. Do we call it there? I think so. We're at an hour and 45 minutes. So, yeah, we had a lot today. Dear listener, thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. We love you. From Indy to Belgium, I think was one of them on the list. We love you. Thank you for being here. Share us with your messiest friend.

1:31:21 See you next time. Bye.