let your inner child go for a hot girl walk with Amy Dickens.

WEBVTT

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Hi, I'm Travis and this is Bestie Approved. I'm

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hanging out with my new friend who believes that

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joy is a form of courage and a... powerful uh

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act of resistance which uh is absolutely bestie

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approved um amy dickens is the creator of the

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joyfully you podcast and the author of 101 ways

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to spread joy uh and she's a coach and a voice

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encouraging people to create joy for themselves

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and others around them um amy i'm gonna let you

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introduce yourself and kind of we'll we'll see

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where the vibe takes us sweet yeah i also love

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i thought you like sticky note into the book

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So absolutely precious. I love your little self.

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It's, it's incredible. You get a gold star. Appreciate

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it. Yeah. I'm Amy Dickens. I am on a mission

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to help reconnect people to their joy and their

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play as a tool of transformation so that we can

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become the version of ourselves that we came

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here to be by helping, you know, regulate our

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nervous systems the fun way because I've done

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like 10 years of all the different things and

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it's one of the tools that every single day I'm

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like, whoa. that actually works and more recently

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it's also dived into how can we create ripple

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effects of joy to create change in this world

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how can we you know kind of build bridges instead

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of more division and uh create ripples of change

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of like you know you walk into the room and that

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one person that's really joyfully like i feel

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so much better after talking to them and you

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know you could be like totally different kind

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of people but you're like oh it's just something

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about them i don't know what it is there's a

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ripple there you know because they're making

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a real single day If you're like really mad or

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sad or scared, you know, you get scared with

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that ripple. You know, you're like, I talk to

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my mom sometimes. I love you, mom. You're the

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best if you're listening to this. But sometimes

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there's like a fear ripple that can happen from

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that. Sure. And then there's totally like joy

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ripples as well. Nice. I love that. Yeah. Very

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cool. Before we get into deep, what is the last

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song we let you listen to? This is something

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we ask everyone. Oh, I love this. I was thinking

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about that. I don't know. I haven't listened

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to any music today, but I have been singing around

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the house today. And for some reason it's been

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little mermaid. I was just walking around the

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house and like, look at this stuff. I love that.

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A little like musical one by myself. Nice. I'll

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take it. Yeah. Love. Cool. My last song was the

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Steve Aoki remix of Happened to Me by Russell

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Diggerson. I'm like, I'm very into that song

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right now. So, love that. I love listening to

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it. It's so good. Yeah. Have you ever played

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We're Not Really Strangers? No. Okay. Pick a

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number between 1 and 15. 12. 12. Okay. I feel

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like this is a really good one for you, actually.

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What has been your favorite age so far? Oh, wow.

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That's a great one. For a very long time, actually,

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it was 12. Up until the last couple of years,

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there was a strange thing that happened in my

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childhood where when I was 12, I had this random

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year where I was just very confident, which I

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know is not... typical for like middle schoolers

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only unleashed i would like walk in the middle

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of class like do like a dinosaur impression like

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very loud not just like oh she's cute she's being

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like alarms like screaming at the top of my lungs

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in the middle of class and would just be like

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i don't know screaming and like it's just dancing

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and giggling and putting stickers all over and

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i don't know it's like this one little flip and

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i hold that year very fondly in my memory Wow.

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That one year where I really knew who I was.

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And I remember that was one year where I always

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said like every year, you know, people like,

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when do you want to be when you grow up? And

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it would always be something like, I want to

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be an author or a doctor or whatever. And what

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do people want me to say? And that year I said,

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I want to be a talk show host like Ellen, because

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I used to love watching Ellen. And that's pretty

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funny. That's like the closest I think I ever

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got to what adult Amy is like now. That's awesome.

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I love that. So we live in a really challenging

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world right now. And I think your message can

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help a lot of people. Even if it's just like

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a reminder to like check in with ourselves as

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we're heading into the new year. So I kind of

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want to get into your journey. So you talked

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a little bit in the beginning of the book about

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how your journey was stark. your journey was

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sparked by a struggle with social anxiety, depression,

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and some health issues. And it kind of ultimately

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led to burnout. And I feel like this is something

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a lot of people can like really recognize in

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themselves. What did this moment look like for

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you when you decided to like make a change and

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kind of start this journey? Yeah. I mean, I wish

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that there was just like that one, you know,

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like shining star moment where I was like, this

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is the moment that the change happens. And then

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I, you know, made a change and I never, you know,

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like went back to my old habits, but I think

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a lot of us probably can resonate with like,

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there's a lot of little moments where we're like.

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Yeah, I can hear that voice. And so something

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needs to change. But do I change? No, you just

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keep doing it. And it gets louder and louder.

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And I think the louder and louder was happening

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in lots of different ways. You know, the health

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issues that start happening, that's no coincidence.

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All of these things are also interrelated. You

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know, the brain body connection of your mental

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health is getting worse and your physical health

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is getting worse because you can't digest things

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when you're completely dysregulated all the time.

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And when you're not digesting things, you have

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no energy and then your adrenals are burning.

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out because you're like ah i'm just trying to

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like burn the candle at both ends and like try

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to earn my sense of worthiness in this world

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by what i'm doing and also doing all of the things

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that i think i should be doing rather than what

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i actually want to be doing because i just want

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to be laughable and i think if i do all the things

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that people want me to do even though no one's

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even saying this to me we all just like kind

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of absorb these moses you know I was just getting,

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you know, sicker and sicker, which that was honestly,

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I hate to say that was like one of the main things

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I was like, wow, I am like in my mid twenties

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and I feel awful. I'm really like was physically

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struggling, which, you know, sends you on a path

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to seek when Western medicine is like, you're

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perfectly healthy. There's nothing wrong with

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you. And you're like, something's got to change

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here. So you start looking all over the place,

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at least if you're me, I'm like. Sure. We're

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not settling for this. There was that little

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flicker of hope within that always said it gets

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better. Like it gets so much better. You're meant

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for so much more. There was always this really

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strong connection to purpose my whole life. And

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it was really, I guess, awful. It was this awful

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thing. I would literally cry myself to sleep

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and I'd be like, I don't know what my purpose

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is. one person that doesn't have a gift or purpose

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like who who is it how is woe is me and i would

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like read all these books and try and like think

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my way through it you know doing all these quizzes

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according to my calculations like this and not

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realizing that my purpose was it in i don't know

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trying harder and like crunching and doing and

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trying to perform to be someone other than myself

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it was in letting go of a lot of that and healing

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and doing all of that and there was one moment

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where It was actually the day before the pandemic

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hit. I used to work at a grade school and we

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had we had a particularly rambunctious group

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of kindergartners that year. There's one that's

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biting my arm on this side. And there's another

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kid that's trying to get this kid that's biting

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my arm. And I'm like holding this kid back with

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my other arm. And I'm like, you know, like kind

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of keeping them away from each other so they

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don't just like absolutely, you know, destroy

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each other. And I remember having this moment

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where I silently look up at the ceiling and I'm

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just like, God. help me and then the next day

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the whole country shut down jesus christ oh amy

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be careful what you wish for so that that space

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that i actually got of because in that moment

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i was still really struggling with like social

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anxiety and all these things It was like, everything

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was like taken off my plate. It's like, you can't

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go into work for the next two weeks and then

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two weeks. And you know how that went. And something

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about that spaciousness, honestly, of removing

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the constant, like needing to do stuff. It, it

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allowed me this space to breathe and say, Whoa,

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I actually completely want to change my life.

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my partner at the time. And I said, do you want

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to sell all of our stuff and move into a van

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with our cat? Like I've always wanted to do.

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And like, that was just a dream of mine. And

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then that just kind of led down this path of

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doing one thing, then the next and the next that

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was actually aligned with what I wanted to be

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doing. And, you know, that were like simultaneously

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scary and so exhilarating like that. Oh my God,

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I've been dreaming of this and following my joy

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is really what I started calling it. I'm just

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going to do. you know whatever it is that sparks

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that joy like in big ways and little ways and

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it was a very tumultuous ups and downs and heartbreak

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and you know all of the things in there i just

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turned into like a wacky and playful tube man

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in that i love it yeah so we did so did you actually

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end up moving into a van for a little bit or

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oh yeah we lived in a van for a year and a half

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It was great. I love that. Like, I think it was

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like a totally a little cocoon for me of like

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the version, the Amy that walked into the van

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and like walked out of the van for the last time

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were two very different people because I, I mean,

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Hey, you just change your environment and like

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the people that you're with and how your date,

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like your habits are constantly changing that

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it's, it's a highway to changing into maybe who

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you want to be if you are really like growth

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oriented, but. Definitely you're going to become

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a new person and you're really gonna have an

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opportunity to be very grateful. Like to this

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day, it's been four or five years since, you

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know, that whole time. And like literally on

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the regular, wow, I don't have to think about

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where my water comes from. There's like, I can

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take a shower every single day if I want to.

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I can like, I don't know, like all of these little

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things that we take for granted, you know, like

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when we just live in a normal house, it's like

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so. nice to just be very appreciative of these

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really micro little things that I think honestly

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does help just fill that little joy cup of like

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wow okay there's a lot of things that are going

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really well right now actually yeah but I think

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there is something to be said for like this idea

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of like I it comes to like from cocooning for

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some people but I think like there's like this

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thing of like I just have to shed like all of

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the stuff and like I have to like I have to like

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do something because like I need some kind of

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like radical fundamental change in my life and

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like you it's like it forces you to get back

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to basics almost right where it's like I think

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oh god I think it was Casey Rose Wilson on Bitch

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Sesh was her podcast and she was talking about

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how like I think it was shortly after her mom

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passed and she I could be telling the story completely

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wrong like but what I remember is like she went

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into her closet for like two weeks and she's

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really good friends with like June Diane Raphael

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and like June Diane was like I'm very worried

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about you like and then she like came out like

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a different person like it's like the butterfly

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emerges a little bit so I think there's probably

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something to that. And I think Marie Kondo, because

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you said sparking joy, and Marie Kondo's whole

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thing is you have to let go of the stuff. We

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have to simplify our space, and it has to come

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to a place of almost breaking everything down

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to its simplest form and getting back to, okay,

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how do we get somewhere with what we know we

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have to work with? So what did like the earliest

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versions of like this iteration of finding joy

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look like for you, like after you came out of

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living in a van? Yeah. Okay. First off, I love

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that metaphor of it as like letting go of the

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stuff, you know, like Marie Kondo's like physical

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stuffy stuff, but there's emotional, mental,

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all the other stuff. I'm like, I haven't really

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had nothing like connected that exact dot. And

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I love that. That's like so true that there,

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like I literally was like getting rid of all

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the physical stuff. all of like the masks and

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like old identities and just parts of me that

00:12:57.539 --> 00:12:59.679
I think a part of me is like, this isn't you

00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:04.240
like, just the radical changes allows it to be

00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:09.240
a little easier sometimes. Yeah. And the emotional

00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:11.139
mental noise, I think Bethany Frankel and her

00:13:11.139 --> 00:13:13.159
book, a place of yes, called it like, it's like

00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:15.559
food noise and like money noise and like all

00:13:15.559 --> 00:13:18.220
the noise. So like, I think your, your, your

00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:20.019
metaphor is perfect. And like, I think I just

00:13:20.019 --> 00:13:22.500
associated it with, with like real stuff, but

00:13:22.500 --> 00:13:25.100
like, yeah, you're, you're, stuff like your mental

00:13:25.100 --> 00:13:28.259
stuff is probably a lot heavier than like the

00:13:28.259 --> 00:13:29.919
physical stuff you're carrying around so yeah

00:13:29.919 --> 00:13:32.080
there's i mean for sure but the the noise or

00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.759
the the the mental stuff however you want to

00:13:34.759 --> 00:13:36.840
call it yeah for sure like you have to get rid

00:13:36.840 --> 00:13:38.840
of that all of that and i mean i'm like thinking

00:13:38.840 --> 00:13:40.279
like you know it's like you're you're wanting

00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:42.460
to to like almost reach towards something new

00:13:42.460 --> 00:13:44.919
sometimes certain chapters but if you're holding

00:13:44.919 --> 00:13:47.019
on to like these old bags back here and you're

00:13:47.019 --> 00:13:50.379
like i don't know why i can't grab this new thing

00:13:50.379 --> 00:13:53.080
that i want You got to let go of the old bag.

00:13:53.279 --> 00:13:55.799
You got to let go of it, Amy. You can't bring

00:13:55.799 --> 00:13:59.179
it into the new one. You're like, oh. We all

00:13:59.179 --> 00:14:01.320
have those moments time and time again where

00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:04.039
we're like, I don't want to let go. And then

00:14:04.039 --> 00:14:08.000
you do it like, oh, wow. It's such a beautiful

00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:12.320
release of a moment. But that limbo is very uncomfortable

00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:14.759
in between like, I just let go of this bag and

00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:17.620
I haven't reached the new one yet. What is happening?

00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:23.480
For sure. Yeah. But this new, like after that

00:14:23.480 --> 00:14:26.559
moment, I actually, the moment of leaving the

00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:31.059
van was a pretty huge, the big life change I'd

00:14:31.059 --> 00:14:33.320
say of my life where I broke up with my partner

00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:35.740
of 11 years. And it was like a very sudden, just

00:14:35.740 --> 00:14:38.539
like moment of clarity that I had. He's an incredible,

00:14:38.620 --> 00:14:40.460
amazing human to this day. I'm just like, wow,

00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:42.279
you're great. We're about to get married in like

00:14:42.279 --> 00:14:43.799
nine months. And that's just something I was

00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:46.159
like, wow, you're not my person. You're an incredible

00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:48.159
human. She's not my person. And like pretty much

00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:50.899
overnight, I went from we're you know living

00:14:50.899 --> 00:14:53.379
together like planning all the things to oh my

00:14:53.379 --> 00:14:58.460
god what am i doing i have to go and i just literally

00:14:58.460 --> 00:15:00.240
had my friend like drop me off in the middle

00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:02.080
of the redwoods with like a backpack full of

00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:03.700
stuff and i was just like walking through the

00:15:03.700 --> 00:15:05.919
redwoods like crying every day like what am i

00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:11.179
doing with my life yeah i just lost my like partner

00:15:11.179 --> 00:15:13.779
my cat my community my job all the things like

00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:18.509
what am i doing and but also feeling i don't

00:15:18.509 --> 00:15:21.110
know almost like uh like a movie character i

00:15:21.110 --> 00:15:23.860
think a little bit of whoa I'm about to start

00:15:23.860 --> 00:15:26.980
a grand new adventure. You know, there's, there's

00:15:26.980 --> 00:15:29.059
like this hero's journey. I think that I'm really

00:15:29.059 --> 00:15:32.120
stepping into that feels like it's divine timing

00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:34.940
almost of, all right, like do it. And the others,

00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:36.940
there's pressure there of like, wow, I literally

00:15:36.940 --> 00:15:38.820
let go of everything. Like I have to make a choice.

00:15:38.860 --> 00:15:40.279
Like I burned all my bridges. There's nowhere

00:15:40.279 --> 00:15:42.700
to go back to right now. Like I have to move

00:15:42.700 --> 00:15:44.840
forward. There's no, there's no looking back.

00:15:44.899 --> 00:15:46.879
There's no holding onto any comfort. Cause I

00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:49.929
literally just. burnt it all to the ground basically

00:15:49.929 --> 00:15:52.730
in a kind way but you know there just wasn't

00:15:52.730 --> 00:15:55.730
any going back to it which it was a painful thing

00:15:55.730 --> 00:15:59.909
but it was really like a beautiful awakening

00:15:59.909 --> 00:16:02.889
moment of okay what would bring me joy right

00:16:02.889 --> 00:16:04.289
now and that was the moment where I was like

00:16:04.289 --> 00:16:06.289
wow for the past seven or eight years I've said

00:16:06.289 --> 00:16:08.750
I want to be a yoga teacher I'd look like I've

00:16:08.750 --> 00:16:11.070
been dreaming of it I'd been sat in so many different

00:16:11.070 --> 00:16:12.990
yoga classes like wow that just seems really

00:16:13.970 --> 00:16:16.309
incredible like I was totally pedestalling all

00:16:16.309 --> 00:16:18.169
of my yoga teachers being like they are like

00:16:18.169 --> 00:16:20.649
a different species I don't know how I would

00:16:20.649 --> 00:16:23.730
ever do that I feel the same way though honestly

00:16:23.730 --> 00:16:25.809
like anytime I go to a yoga class I'm like who

00:16:25.809 --> 00:16:28.549
is this wonderful creature talking to me like

00:16:28.549 --> 00:16:31.330
right I'm like are they just like angels like

00:16:31.330 --> 00:16:34.389
descended down like how who are they how who

00:16:34.389 --> 00:16:36.929
am I to think that I could you know become one

00:16:36.929 --> 00:16:40.590
of those So I said, I'm going to, so I looked

00:16:40.590 --> 00:16:42.690
online and I found one that I was like, wow,

00:16:42.809 --> 00:16:45.370
that one seems really resonant with me. I booked

00:16:45.370 --> 00:16:47.629
a one -way ticket and this, you know, pretty

00:16:47.629 --> 00:16:51.149
much long story. So I started booking one -way

00:16:51.149 --> 00:16:52.570
tickets after that. Cause I got to this yoga

00:16:52.570 --> 00:16:55.110
teacher training and day one, I said, well, I

00:16:55.110 --> 00:16:57.190
don't think I'm actually meant to be a yoga teacher,

00:16:57.269 --> 00:17:00.460
but it was this like full body chills. i'm meant

00:17:00.460 --> 00:17:03.360
to be here in this seat right now and whatever

00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.200
i'm learning here which i think was really just

00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:07.079
a comfort zone of learning to share my voice

00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.240
because my journey of like i'm so scared to say

00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.500
anything to anyone i have horrible social anxiety

00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:15.099
like i'm just gonna like zip it like never be

00:17:15.099 --> 00:17:18.259
heard to you know god the universe whatever you

00:17:18.259 --> 00:17:20.339
want to call it being like hey here's a little

00:17:20.339 --> 00:17:23.359
here's a little you know uh journey of you can

00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:25.099
be yoga teacher because as you're teaching yoga

00:17:25.099 --> 00:17:26.619
you're moving around the room you're breathing

00:17:26.619 --> 00:17:28.559
you're like regulating your nervous system you

00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:30.880
got like a you know like a format of like these

00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:32.380
are the things that you're saying to the people

00:17:32.380 --> 00:17:34.859
you know it's like pretty rhythmic and i fell

00:17:34.859 --> 00:17:37.519
in love with it and i was like i just the time

00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:39.319
and then I started teaching yoga and I was like

00:17:39.319 --> 00:17:41.839
up there and I just wanted to get people dancing

00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:43.619
so then I kind of like start I called it flow

00:17:43.619 --> 00:17:45.960
gun I get people like dancing on the mat a little

00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.519
bit and then from there I just want to get people

00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:51.279
playing and you know it just kind of was this

00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:55.599
whole I don't know very I feel like a lot of

00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:58.880
times in life growth is you know slower but for

00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.640
whatever reason this year it was like i don't

00:18:01.640 --> 00:18:03.380
know if it was just like backlogged and all of

00:18:03.380 --> 00:18:04.740
a sudden it was like rocket fuel and it was like

00:18:04.740 --> 00:18:07.440
every month i was just like i don't know who

00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:09.779
i'm gonna be i'll be in bali next month teaching

00:18:09.779 --> 00:18:11.920
a yoga teacher training and then i'll you know

00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:14.579
be like learning the ukulele and now i'm a singer

00:18:14.579 --> 00:18:17.259
and i like lead song circles and i was just like

00:18:17.259 --> 00:18:19.400
doing all of these different things and following

00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:22.259
my joy along the whole way being absolutely terrified

00:18:22.259 --> 00:18:26.359
very constantly but also having like the highest

00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:29.480
of highs in the most like grounded wholesome

00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:31.960
way not like a i don't know yeah drug you know

00:18:31.960 --> 00:18:36.880
kind of like oh my god no i think you were probably

00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:39.559
experiencing flow state where it's like okay

00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:42.859
like i'm like there's there's like confidence

00:18:42.859 --> 00:18:44.579
right that like you're you're gaining from like

00:18:44.579 --> 00:18:46.460
okay like i can share my voice like my voice

00:18:46.460 --> 00:18:49.430
is valid and then like I think you were building

00:18:49.430 --> 00:18:51.210
momentum. I don't think it was, I mean, it could

00:18:51.210 --> 00:18:53.309
have like backlogged maybe, but like, I think

00:18:53.309 --> 00:18:56.410
more so is like, it's like, oh, I can do this.

00:18:56.450 --> 00:18:59.150
Let's fucking go. The fact that you called it

00:18:59.150 --> 00:19:01.309
a flow state. I love that. I don't know if you

00:19:01.309 --> 00:19:03.369
know, Dr. Stuart Brown, he's done a lot of research

00:19:03.369 --> 00:19:06.130
on play and he, I don't even know how, he's been

00:19:06.130 --> 00:19:08.509
doing it for decades and he's found like fascinating

00:19:08.509 --> 00:19:10.549
stuff. He wasn't, I don't think even like trying

00:19:10.549 --> 00:19:12.890
to get into the work of play. He was just kind

00:19:12.890 --> 00:19:15.250
of like. researching i think prisoners and then

00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:17.670
he found this like fascinating statistic somehow

00:19:17.670 --> 00:19:19.829
and like by we're interviewing all of them that

00:19:19.829 --> 00:19:22.990
all almost all of them that had like committed

00:19:22.990 --> 00:19:25.029
horrific crimes of like murdering people you

00:19:25.029 --> 00:19:27.630
know like those like really like wow almost all

00:19:27.630 --> 00:19:29.690
of them barely played as children like almost

00:19:29.690 --> 00:19:34.279
all of them had like no um ability or experience

00:19:34.279 --> 00:19:36.299
to do that in their childhood and then he was

00:19:36.299 --> 00:19:38.039
like what's going on here and so you know it

00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:40.319
kind of like led into the curiosity of like dig

00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:41.779
deeper dig deeper and now you know he's got the

00:19:41.779 --> 00:19:44.279
whole like national institute of play and you

00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:46.559
know just like all of his research is dedicated

00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:48.799
to how is this really beneficial for not just

00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:50.500
kids but also adults and like what is this doing

00:19:50.500 --> 00:19:53.700
for our brain and one of the ways that he describes

00:19:53.700 --> 00:19:57.400
play is also really similar to flow like where

00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:59.940
time just ceases to exist and you're totally

00:19:59.940 --> 00:20:02.079
absorbed in what you're doing and then he added

00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:04.220
he adds on with play it's also like there's a

00:20:04.220 --> 00:20:05.900
sense of purposelessness to it you know it's

00:20:05.900 --> 00:20:09.380
not yeah i'm trying to get this thing done or

00:20:09.380 --> 00:20:11.380
you know get like some results out of it it's

00:20:11.380 --> 00:20:15.259
just for the sake of it in the sake of the enjoyment

00:20:15.259 --> 00:20:18.180
and the beauty of it and it's it's a fascinating

00:20:18.180 --> 00:20:21.400
thing because we do really grow so much and i'm

00:20:21.400 --> 00:20:24.940
like i think there's gosh i think it's it takes

00:20:26.069 --> 00:20:29.490
400 times to like repeat a new action to create

00:20:29.490 --> 00:20:31.569
that new neural pathway of like oh okay this

00:20:31.569 --> 00:20:33.750
is a new habit and when you're playing while

00:20:33.750 --> 00:20:36.170
you're doing it it reduces it by like i don't

00:20:36.170 --> 00:20:38.430
know you 10 to 20 times doing that thing then

00:20:38.430 --> 00:20:41.170
you're like yes this is in my bones because it's

00:20:41.170 --> 00:20:43.950
like all of those neurochemicals in your brain

00:20:43.950 --> 00:20:46.009
and the neuroplasticity you're just like yes

00:20:46.009 --> 00:20:48.789
we want to learn new things in this state whatever

00:20:48.789 --> 00:20:51.789
we're doing in this we're just like yeah that's

00:20:51.849 --> 00:20:56.609
the new me and it really is just highway to becoming

00:20:56.609 --> 00:20:59.569
a new version of yourself and it's just great

00:20:59.569 --> 00:21:03.390
it also was fun oh yeah i want to go back to

00:21:03.390 --> 00:21:06.009
the yoga thing for a second because so i've talked

00:21:06.009 --> 00:21:09.569
a lot on uh the podcast about like how i don't

00:21:09.569 --> 00:21:11.750
do organized religion like it's just not a thing

00:21:11.750 --> 00:21:15.650
for me because i don't like it um but like the

00:21:16.619 --> 00:21:18.880
Like when I go to a yoga class, that's probably

00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:21.119
the closest I've ever felt to like what people

00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:26.900
describe going to church to be. So like, I guess

00:21:26.900 --> 00:21:29.640
my question is like, how did yoga shape your

00:21:29.640 --> 00:21:33.619
approach? Because I think it, I mean, like we

00:21:33.619 --> 00:21:35.660
can get into the woo of all of it, like whatever.

00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:37.680
But like, I think there is something pretty transformative

00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:40.380
about like forcing yourself to stop and just

00:21:40.380 --> 00:21:42.519
like, listen to your voice, listen to your body.

00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:46.279
And like, there's like a whole. like i mean there

00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:48.059
is science behind like the mind -body connection

00:21:48.059 --> 00:21:50.200
but there's also something very spiritual about

00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:53.039
it like how did that kind of shape your approach

00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:55.920
yeah absolutely i mean i definitely i'm not one

00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:58.940
for like any organized religion personally but

00:21:58.940 --> 00:22:01.319
i am a very woo and spiritual person i guess

00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:03.279
you would say yeah i definitely have like a a

00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:05.500
deep connection to like that ineffable essence

00:22:05.500 --> 00:22:08.880
that's beyond any what any of us could ever imagine

00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:11.339
but not like the i don't know kind of like this

00:22:11.339 --> 00:22:14.099
is the rules and regulations yeah But, you know,

00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:15.640
if you have flexible as your boat, that's totally

00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:21.799
fine by me. And yoga is it was it was like holding

00:22:21.799 --> 00:22:23.839
hands with a lot of other like spiritual like

00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:25.359
things that I was reading. I was just kind of

00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:27.519
in this season of like, well, what is going on

00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:28.839
in the universe? I'm going to read all of the

00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:31.460
things and listen to all the podcasts and just

00:22:31.460 --> 00:22:34.319
be very curious about all of it. And I think

00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:41.809
yoga really helped open me to. just like presence

00:22:41.809 --> 00:22:44.630
like just like being okay of it you know i think

00:22:44.630 --> 00:22:47.109
that there's in like western world you know we're

00:22:47.109 --> 00:22:50.710
really like we fill every second of every day

00:22:50.710 --> 00:22:54.390
with like thoughts or doing or and there really

00:22:54.390 --> 00:22:57.589
is something to whoa what if i just did nothing

00:22:57.589 --> 00:23:01.920
and i just stopped and i just sat with the breath

00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:05.700
and I sat with whatever came up and it was okay.

00:23:05.799 --> 00:23:08.160
And the world didn't implode and close around

00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:11.380
me. And the deep moments of connection that can

00:23:11.380 --> 00:23:14.400
come through that and a million other ways. But

00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:18.440
I think that yoga can be a really beautiful bridge

00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:21.240
to having those moments of connection. You're

00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:23.940
like, wow. when there's so much noise I think

00:23:23.940 --> 00:23:25.519
it's harder for us to feel there's something

00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:28.480
bigger than all of us and sometimes I'm like

00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:31.319
wow I'm so grateful for like this connection

00:23:31.319 --> 00:23:34.420
that I feel so deeply my bones to something greater

00:23:34.420 --> 00:23:36.460
than all of us because I'm like wow I think like

00:23:36.460 --> 00:23:38.619
don't just be really freaking hard without it

00:23:38.619 --> 00:23:41.359
and yoga absolutely was a part of that path of

00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:44.380
getting back into touch and and re -healing that

00:23:44.380 --> 00:23:46.680
connection to that because i i definitely had

00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:48.440
like a lot of like god wounds and like church

00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:50.940
wounds of being like uh you know like don't ask

00:23:50.940 --> 00:23:52.539
questions and you know like that just like put

00:23:52.539 --> 00:23:54.240
a really bad taste in my mouth but when i think

00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:57.140
back to like little kid amy i always had a really

00:23:57.140 --> 00:23:59.880
deep sense of like there's something beyond all

00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:03.380
of this that didn't exactly fit the languaging

00:24:03.380 --> 00:24:05.420
of you know that i was being taught it was like

00:24:05.420 --> 00:24:07.680
wanting to ask questions that wasn't really allowed

00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:11.299
so i was like this this is you know not Not for

00:24:11.299 --> 00:24:14.059
me, but it gave a different avenue of exploration

00:24:14.059 --> 00:24:18.180
to saying, wow, there is something beyond all

00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:21.359
of this. And that was one of the keys and tools

00:24:21.359 --> 00:24:23.759
that I found to finding my purpose, which I think

00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:25.519
truly, I think all of our purpose is just to

00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:28.140
like be ourselves, like our truest self. And

00:24:28.140 --> 00:24:31.980
obviously from that space, there is a doing like,

00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:34.079
you know, there's like, there's things that create

00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:36.660
from us being ourselves. But at the end of the

00:24:36.660 --> 00:24:39.670
day, it's like. we as souls whoever it is that

00:24:39.670 --> 00:24:43.490
we came here to be came here to create some puzzle

00:24:43.490 --> 00:24:44.990
piece i always call it a puzzle it's like there's

00:24:44.990 --> 00:24:48.890
a huge puzzle in the world and every single person

00:24:48.890 --> 00:24:50.829
has one puzzle piece and it's kind of like our

00:24:50.829 --> 00:24:53.509
purpose and our job in my perspective to figure

00:24:53.509 --> 00:24:56.349
out oh this is who my puzzle piece is through

00:24:56.349 --> 00:24:59.369
who i am and when i am that then i can automatically

00:24:59.369 --> 00:25:02.750
start to find peace pieces of like people that

00:25:02.750 --> 00:25:04.750
are puzzle pieces around me. And we start to

00:25:04.750 --> 00:25:08.130
kind of click and create something new together

00:25:08.130 --> 00:25:10.869
that we couldn't on our own. And that we couldn't,

00:25:10.869 --> 00:25:13.089
if we were trying to be someone else or trying

00:25:13.089 --> 00:25:14.849
to, you know, there's some other people that

00:25:14.849 --> 00:25:17.410
I'm like, wow, I'm so glad that you love doing

00:25:17.410 --> 00:25:20.589
that because that is so not how anything in this

00:25:20.589 --> 00:25:23.549
operates, but also there's a puzzle piece that

00:25:23.549 --> 00:25:25.960
I hold that I'm like, wow. For other people,

00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:27.319
they're like, wow, that makes me want to spoon

00:25:27.319 --> 00:25:29.640
my eyeballs out if I think about holding a microphone

00:25:29.640 --> 00:25:31.940
on the streets of downtown and like walking around

00:25:31.940 --> 00:25:34.799
getting people dancing. Absolutely not. But it's

00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:36.960
like my favorite freaking thing in the world.

00:25:37.220 --> 00:25:39.900
But if I also, you know, hadn't let go of all

00:25:39.900 --> 00:25:42.480
of the masks and the fears and all of the things,

00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:44.819
I never would have discovered that. And yoga

00:25:44.819 --> 00:25:47.799
was like a stepping stone in the path of discovering

00:25:47.799 --> 00:25:50.019
what that is. And now I kind of call it more

00:25:50.019 --> 00:25:52.500
like joy. I feel like the. the leading people

00:25:52.500 --> 00:25:56.279
into experiences of joy of being in that light

00:25:56.279 --> 00:25:59.259
in that presence for me i'm like you know i'm

00:25:59.259 --> 00:26:01.839
not a person of like any one way is like the

00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:04.299
way for any person like you know what some people

00:26:04.299 --> 00:26:05.720
are going to resonate with what i have to say

00:26:05.720 --> 00:26:07.740
and some people won't and that's perfect that's

00:26:07.740 --> 00:26:10.319
how i know i'm doing you know like take what

00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:12.720
resonates leave the rest you are empowered to

00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:14.980
like take what floats your boat at any point

00:26:14.980 --> 00:26:17.880
in time but if you know being in a space of joy

00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:21.059
reminds you of who you really are if you feel

00:26:21.059 --> 00:26:24.960
more connected to like whoa this is me and and

00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:28.339
that shines a light on what you want to create

00:26:28.339 --> 00:26:30.279
in this world who you want to be if it helps

00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:32.319
you just like remember that little anchor into

00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:35.599
whoa right there's there's something like deeper

00:26:35.599 --> 00:26:37.700
inside of me that i feel more connected to if

00:26:37.700 --> 00:26:40.059
it's like a why for what you want to create in

00:26:40.059 --> 00:26:42.039
the world or whatever it is that's kind of the

00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:45.019
whole purpose like deeper beyond i guess just

00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:49.880
spreading joy of like sunshine and rainbows for

00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:54.000
sure every good yoga class i've ever been to

00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:55.700
because i don't know that i've ever been to a

00:26:55.700 --> 00:26:57.539
bad one but like the ones that really stand out

00:26:57.539 --> 00:26:59.980
to me are like the ones where the i almost call

00:26:59.980 --> 00:27:02.869
my the yoga teacher the professor my yoga professor

00:27:02.869 --> 00:27:07.049
but the but where the yoga teacher was like yeah

00:27:07.049 --> 00:27:09.430
take what serves you and like if this doesn't

00:27:09.430 --> 00:27:12.789
feel right to you don't do it and like I think

00:27:12.789 --> 00:27:14.289
there's something there because I think this

00:27:14.289 --> 00:27:16.109
like and I think it comes back to like what we

00:27:16.109 --> 00:27:18.509
were saying earlier about like you you were in

00:27:18.509 --> 00:27:21.690
the flow state where like I think this thing

00:27:21.690 --> 00:27:23.710
of like okay like connecting to yourself and

00:27:23.710 --> 00:27:27.430
like getting getting back into like the core

00:27:27.430 --> 00:27:30.410
of you it like really opens you up to like okay

00:27:30.410 --> 00:27:33.589
like what comes next almost because I think that

00:27:33.589 --> 00:27:35.849
you're like when you're like defining that sense

00:27:35.849 --> 00:27:38.329
of I'm like I'm kind of making this up as I go

00:27:38.329 --> 00:27:40.049
but like when you're defining like that sense

00:27:40.049 --> 00:27:43.269
like the foundation of you like I think it opens

00:27:43.269 --> 00:27:45.650
you up to like okay like what what more can I

00:27:45.650 --> 00:27:47.049
do what else can I do because like I want to

00:27:47.049 --> 00:27:50.519
keep chasing this like feeling but it's not like

00:27:50.519 --> 00:27:52.500
chasing the dragon because you're building something

00:27:52.500 --> 00:27:55.299
you know what it like does that oh no absolutely

00:27:55.299 --> 00:27:57.640
I feel like to me what I'm hearing you say is

00:27:57.640 --> 00:28:00.420
almost describing the skill of discernment that

00:28:00.420 --> 00:28:02.660
we we have to build along that way because you

00:28:02.660 --> 00:28:04.140
because there's like comes this point where like

00:28:04.140 --> 00:28:07.160
oh my god no one else is gonna no one else is

00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:09.680
gonna and can tell me you know not even like

00:28:09.680 --> 00:28:11.539
a guru or whatever you want to say like no one

00:28:11.539 --> 00:28:13.839
no one can tell me what is the next step for

00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:16.240
me except for me what that's like exhilarating

00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:19.130
and that's also really terrifying and yeah build

00:28:19.130 --> 00:28:20.990
like you know because no one teaches us this

00:28:20.990 --> 00:28:23.390
for the most part of this is what a yes feels

00:28:23.390 --> 00:28:25.390
like and this is what a no feels like and this

00:28:25.390 --> 00:28:28.170
is and so we just do it basically trial and error

00:28:28.170 --> 00:28:29.829
and it's messy and it's like throwing spaghetti

00:28:29.829 --> 00:28:31.470
at the wall and seeing what sticks and you do

00:28:31.470 --> 00:28:33.829
that you're like wow okay that's what it feels

00:28:33.829 --> 00:28:35.569
like when i do it something and it's actually

00:28:35.569 --> 00:28:38.410
a no and i don't want to do that so we're gonna

00:28:38.410 --> 00:28:41.650
we're gonna fine tune you know getting able to

00:28:41.650 --> 00:28:44.109
kind of slow down sometimes because i think sometimes

00:28:44.109 --> 00:28:47.319
you know we can overthink also and be like oh

00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:48.859
my god like i don't want to make the wrong choice

00:28:48.859 --> 00:28:50.599
and i'm gonna like make all the pro and con lists

00:28:50.599 --> 00:28:52.420
i'm gonna you know think about it for the next

00:28:52.420 --> 00:28:55.660
42 days and all the things and you know the answers

00:28:55.660 --> 00:28:57.319
are all definitely within and there's no shape

00:28:57.319 --> 00:28:59.680
of that i definitely have them still i'm thinking

00:28:59.680 --> 00:29:01.099
of the decision right now that i've been doing

00:29:01.099 --> 00:29:05.019
that with i'm like wow okay make a choice yeah

00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:08.819
it's it's uh i'm like i think if we could teach

00:29:08.819 --> 00:29:12.079
that in schools younger this is like like let's

00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:15.200
like hold people's hands of learn how to know

00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:18.099
what a yes is and a no is so that you can understand

00:29:18.099 --> 00:29:20.880
actually this is my next step and this is not

00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:22.640
and obviously there's so many other complicated

00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.200
things because you know when somebody says like

00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:27.640
actually your no is a yes and your yes is a no

00:29:27.640 --> 00:29:29.599
and this isn't a safe space and you know then

00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:31.779
it gets all complicated and there's a lot of

00:29:31.779 --> 00:29:35.119
courage and all kinds of things in there yeah

00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:40.680
but yeah so i kind of want to talk about like

00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:48.160
so A lot of this comes to learning a lot about

00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:50.160
yourself. And I think with learning, there's

00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:56.019
also the growing. But something that I think

00:29:56.019 --> 00:29:58.079
a lot of people are going to listen to this or

00:29:58.079 --> 00:30:00.839
watch this, however they consume it. And they're

00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:02.839
going to say, okay, so this is something for

00:30:02.839 --> 00:30:07.259
kids. Play is something we associate with childhood.

00:30:07.539 --> 00:30:11.740
And you talked about how these violent criminals,

00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.619
thing that they pretty consistently didn't do

00:30:15.619 --> 00:30:18.859
as children was play so like as we grow up we

00:30:18.859 --> 00:30:21.039
kind of stop playing and we lose that sense of

00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:23.500
like wonder and like childhood and imagination

00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:26.799
or whatever what else do we lose when we like

00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:30.920
stop playing as grown -ups yeah i mean there's

00:30:30.920 --> 00:30:34.619
so much i think that there absolutely is some

00:30:34.619 --> 00:30:37.200
correlation because we're the burnout you know

00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:41.390
like huge wave sensation that's sweeping the

00:30:41.390 --> 00:30:44.289
nation right now. It's like everyone and their

00:30:44.289 --> 00:30:46.549
mother and brother are like, wow, I'm burnt out.

00:30:46.710 --> 00:30:48.690
And, you know, it's like, no one needs to talk

00:30:48.690 --> 00:30:50.730
about that. And I've definitely burnt out myself

00:30:50.730 --> 00:30:54.069
enough times. And I think that there's like more

00:30:54.069 --> 00:30:55.990
and more and more that we keep having to put

00:30:55.990 --> 00:30:58.369
on our plates almost, you know, and I think part

00:30:58.369 --> 00:31:01.089
of that sometimes in my experience also is there

00:31:01.089 --> 00:31:05.589
becomes the like 72 item to do list of like self

00:31:05.589 --> 00:31:07.309
-care things that you also need to start doing

00:31:07.309 --> 00:31:09.940
now in addition. all of your work things in addition

00:31:09.940 --> 00:31:12.180
to like trying to have a life, but like, you

00:31:12.180 --> 00:31:13.660
know, you're like, and then like also sleeping

00:31:13.660 --> 00:31:17.619
and all of these things. And when we start to

00:31:17.619 --> 00:31:20.880
play that, like when we're not playing, we lose

00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:24.079
these like deep social bonds. Cause you know,

00:31:24.099 --> 00:31:25.779
we're also the loneliness epidemic. We're all

00:31:25.779 --> 00:31:30.259
like so isolated. There is so much depth of connection.

00:31:30.380 --> 00:31:32.940
And so like, you know, kids, they become friends

00:31:32.940 --> 00:31:35.440
like that. because I mean there's lots of different

00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:37.200
reasons but one of the reasons is they start

00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:38.920
playing together and they're just immediately

00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:41.779
like laughing and giggling and I used to travel

00:31:41.779 --> 00:31:44.720
the world and it would shock me where I would

00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:46.940
meet people that you know we don't speak the

00:31:46.940 --> 00:31:48.980
same language but we do laugh in the same language

00:31:48.980 --> 00:31:51.059
because all like it's like just human nature

00:31:51.059 --> 00:31:53.319
to be like wow you're you're laughing like I'm

00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:54.960
laughing too I don't even really know what you're

00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:56.980
laughing about but because you're laughing I'm

00:31:56.980 --> 00:32:00.180
laughing and almost having these silly playful

00:32:00.180 --> 00:32:02.420
moments i would have with people because i can

00:32:02.420 --> 00:32:04.279
i don't know i'm very like animated and how i

00:32:04.279 --> 00:32:06.500
talk so i would kind of amp it up to try and

00:32:06.500 --> 00:32:08.920
communicate with people that I don't know. And

00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:10.480
you're having this moment, you're like, wow,

00:32:10.599 --> 00:32:12.839
I actually feel connected to, and we haven't

00:32:12.839 --> 00:32:15.819
even really exchanged any words yet. And that

00:32:15.819 --> 00:32:19.059
started planting these little seeds of, oh, there's

00:32:19.059 --> 00:32:21.339
something really here. And then you start looking

00:32:21.339 --> 00:32:24.740
at the research and it's just like the neurochemicals

00:32:24.740 --> 00:32:26.000
and all of the things, you know, it's like you

00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:28.619
get all this like oxytocin and dopamine and serotonin

00:32:28.619 --> 00:32:31.220
and endorphins and all of this helps regulate

00:32:31.220 --> 00:32:35.450
your emotions. it is really helps strengthen

00:32:35.450 --> 00:32:37.890
your bonds so the people that you're already

00:32:37.890 --> 00:32:39.910
in relationship with you feel closer to them

00:32:39.910 --> 00:32:42.190
and because you feel closer to them you can feel

00:32:42.190 --> 00:32:45.289
more courageous in your life there's like so

00:32:45.289 --> 00:32:47.910
much to that of when you feel alone you it's

00:32:47.910 --> 00:32:50.069
like it almost like stacks the negativity when

00:32:50.069 --> 00:32:52.049
you feel like you have like a tribe behind you

00:32:52.049 --> 00:32:54.190
even if they're not physically with you you can

00:32:54.190 --> 00:32:58.059
feel a lot more bravery to do the things that

00:32:58.059 --> 00:33:00.799
you really want to do but that feel really scary

00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:02.680
because you're like okay i got people that are

00:33:02.680 --> 00:33:07.180
behind me and it's also it really helps us become

00:33:07.180 --> 00:33:11.440
a new version of ourself we really like you know

00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:13.319
like there's obviously it's just like it's nice

00:33:13.319 --> 00:33:17.759
to be to play to like feel joyful and like connective

00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:21.019
but it also is a really beautiful way for us

00:33:21.019 --> 00:33:24.039
to start stepping into a new identity of ourself

00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:26.579
of like it kind of helps just like make our brain

00:33:26.579 --> 00:33:29.880
that malleable neuroplasticity is like amped

00:33:29.880 --> 00:33:32.240
up and you're like all right i'm priming myself

00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:37.579
to have a better day to have better connections

00:33:37.579 --> 00:33:40.079
like we're constantly priming ourselves like

00:33:40.079 --> 00:33:42.180
little tiny things like you could have like a

00:33:42.180 --> 00:33:44.940
a you know negative conversation with someone

00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:46.980
in the morning and that's priming you to have

00:33:46.980 --> 00:33:49.079
more negative conversations throughout the day

00:33:49.079 --> 00:33:52.099
there was like a study like a cup of coffee it

00:33:52.099 --> 00:33:55.099
was a cup of coffee this one blew my mind they

00:33:55.099 --> 00:33:58.339
handed a stranger uh uh half of them got a hot

00:33:58.339 --> 00:34:00.359
cup of coffee half of them got a cold cup of

00:34:00.359 --> 00:34:02.420
coffee and then they you know like what they

00:34:02.420 --> 00:34:03.720
were like oh excuse me could you hold this while

00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:05.220
i tie my shoe and then they would you know tie

00:34:05.220 --> 00:34:06.740
their shoe And then they'd be like, thank you

00:34:06.740 --> 00:34:09.219
so much. And they'd walk away. And then 10 minutes

00:34:09.219 --> 00:34:11.960
later, another person walked up and said. Would

00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:16.679
you mind if I read you a story for one minute

00:34:16.679 --> 00:34:18.400
and then you just answered a couple questions

00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:20.579
about it in the study that we're doing? And they

00:34:20.579 --> 00:34:23.420
were like, sure. And the people who got handed

00:34:23.420 --> 00:34:25.599
the hot cup of coffee 10 minutes before to hold,

00:34:25.699 --> 00:34:28.780
just holding a hot cup of coffee, were way more

00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:30.699
likely to say that the main character was warm,

00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:35.340
nice, he was funny, he was charismatic. And the

00:34:35.340 --> 00:34:37.380
people who got the cold cup of coffee a few minutes

00:34:37.380 --> 00:34:39.820
before said that he was like. I don't know, you

00:34:39.820 --> 00:34:42.860
know, like unkind and he was impatient and all

00:34:42.860 --> 00:34:44.980
of these like much more negative attributes.

00:34:45.099 --> 00:34:48.519
I'm like, wow, that's literally just a cup of

00:34:48.519 --> 00:34:50.340
freaking coffee that we're holding. And obviously,

00:34:50.440 --> 00:34:53.360
you know, it's like all of other factors, but

00:34:53.360 --> 00:34:57.159
there's so much that I think if we just lean

00:34:57.159 --> 00:35:00.019
into playing a little more, even just in our

00:35:00.019 --> 00:35:01.739
relationships, you know, I think that there's

00:35:01.739 --> 00:35:04.820
so much that I've learned about, you know, I'm

00:35:04.820 --> 00:35:07.699
very into like, let's like. communicate vulnerably

00:35:07.699 --> 00:35:09.519
like with our emotions and like it can get so

00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:11.539
serious but if you bring a little sense of playfulness

00:35:11.539 --> 00:35:16.000
to something it it just makes so many conversations

00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:23.380
so much more like connective people start to

00:35:23.380 --> 00:35:25.619
feel safe when you're feeling like oh whoa like

00:35:25.619 --> 00:35:27.820
this isn't this like really serious thing that

00:35:27.820 --> 00:35:29.059
you're bringing you're bringing like a sense

00:35:29.059 --> 00:35:32.219
of levity to it in a sense of oh wow like i can

00:35:32.219 --> 00:35:33.840
actually take this harder thing that you're telling

00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:37.260
me right now a lot better and obviously there's

00:35:37.260 --> 00:35:42.739
you know a line to tow with that yeah so i guess

00:35:42.739 --> 00:35:45.500
let's talk about that line so like i mean in

00:35:45.500 --> 00:35:48.320
and like how this applies to the real world you've

00:35:48.320 --> 00:35:52.920
got i mean consumer confidence is not great right

00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.500
now you've got the economy that i mean we're

00:35:55.500 --> 00:35:58.699
it is hard for like the everyday person to like

00:35:58.699 --> 00:36:04.179
survive in this economy um you've got a uh i

00:36:04.179 --> 00:36:06.239
mean you've got a presidential administration

00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:09.880
who is hellbent on punishing everyone that's

00:36:09.880 --> 00:36:12.820
not completely loyal to them and it's it's it's

00:36:12.820 --> 00:36:15.739
making and i mean beyond beyond like you know

00:36:15.739 --> 00:36:19.340
government like you've got i mean like you've

00:36:19.340 --> 00:36:22.519
got violence that's not great right now you've

00:36:22.519 --> 00:36:24.820
got like i mean it's every single day on the

00:36:24.820 --> 00:36:27.159
news it's like where it's like a barrage of like

00:36:27.159 --> 00:36:30.000
oh my christ what is coming next like what like

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:33.420
what is actually happening in the world and like

00:36:33.420 --> 00:36:36.880
that's all very real and like so for someone

00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:38.400
who's like dealing with that and like i think

00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:40.500
a lot of people are more sensitive to it than

00:36:40.500 --> 00:36:43.760
than others like how does someone that's like

00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:45.760
really dealing with like the impacts of like

00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:48.519
all that and how like the societal implications

00:36:48.519 --> 00:36:50.760
of all that how does someone invite play into

00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:53.820
their life when they're like look what's going

00:36:53.820 --> 00:36:57.099
on and i'm my christ australia last like what

00:36:57.099 --> 00:36:59.760
two two three days ago like what how do you do

00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:02.920
that like absolutely i want to say like first

00:37:02.920 --> 00:37:05.880
off i was completely that person for a very long

00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:08.880
time that was absolutely totally swept up in

00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:13.280
the overwhelm of all of it and just feeling quite

00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:16.340
frankly hopeless just like what is But what is

00:37:16.340 --> 00:37:17.820
the point of all of this? Like, how do you even

00:37:17.820 --> 00:37:19.980
do any of this? And that was like pushing me

00:37:19.980 --> 00:37:22.599
to a point because part of me, I guess, was feeling

00:37:22.599 --> 00:37:24.940
hopeless. And a part of me deeply has always

00:37:24.940 --> 00:37:28.079
felt this sense of like, no, there is hope. I

00:37:28.079 --> 00:37:31.159
don't know what it is. There is hope. And I think

00:37:31.159 --> 00:37:33.059
that's just like a beautiful, deeper part of

00:37:33.059 --> 00:37:35.539
me that I can connect to. But, you know, there's

00:37:35.539 --> 00:37:38.320
always been those moments that I can definitely

00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:42.139
deeply resonate with. And I can definitely say

00:37:42.139 --> 00:37:46.340
that. When I tune in to people that are like

00:37:46.340 --> 00:37:48.500
overwhelmed by it, it's because they care. Like

00:37:48.500 --> 00:37:52.380
you deeply care, deeply like care and probably

00:37:52.380 --> 00:37:55.460
can feel a lot of what's going on in the world.

00:37:55.500 --> 00:37:58.940
You feel like mad and frustrated and like out

00:37:58.940 --> 00:38:01.199
of control, like, you know, like a sense of like,

00:38:01.260 --> 00:38:04.139
what am I supposed to do? And first off, like

00:38:04.139 --> 00:38:08.039
we're literally not. designed to be able to know

00:38:08.039 --> 00:38:10.300
like our nervous systems weren't designed to

00:38:10.300 --> 00:38:12.380
know like like what is going on in my community

00:38:12.380 --> 00:38:14.599
what is going on in Australia what is going on

00:38:14.599 --> 00:38:16.539
like in every single corner of the world and

00:38:16.539 --> 00:38:19.000
then simultaneously get barraged with it you

00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:21.940
know like during all of our waking hours like

00:38:21.940 --> 00:38:25.280
we're literally not designed for that so I think

00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:29.340
the first step that's really helpful to me is

00:38:29.340 --> 00:38:33.000
to design my phone because it's designed in like

00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:36.889
my screen life like pocket like kind of make

00:38:36.889 --> 00:38:40.289
a a moment in your day where you can get informed

00:38:40.289 --> 00:38:42.829
and have a at least one day a week where you're

00:38:42.829 --> 00:38:45.110
not informed where you're like i'm either off

00:38:45.110 --> 00:38:48.769
screens or like i am checked out for like i am

00:38:48.769 --> 00:38:51.510
just a human freaking being and i'm not like

00:38:51.510 --> 00:38:54.280
like Because I think that that's also part of

00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:56.719
our responsibility. I think that because we care

00:38:56.719 --> 00:38:59.380
so much, we want to create a new world. I think

00:38:59.380 --> 00:39:01.820
we can all agree that we're like, we want things

00:39:01.820 --> 00:39:04.440
to change. And we have a vision of, I want things

00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:07.519
to look like this. I dream of a world where we

00:39:07.519 --> 00:39:09.780
can all get along together. I dream of a world

00:39:09.780 --> 00:39:12.719
where we can create, you know, climate change

00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:14.739
regulations and all these other different environmental

00:39:14.739 --> 00:39:17.239
things where people can just be like safe walking

00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:18.920
in the streets, being themselves. We're like,

00:39:18.940 --> 00:39:21.159
we're not bombing people, all of these things.

00:39:21.710 --> 00:39:26.110
But if I'm in a state of fear, I know, I know

00:39:26.110 --> 00:39:28.969
from a fact that I will not create any of those

00:39:28.969 --> 00:39:31.570
things in the world. Cause I don't like personally,

00:39:31.650 --> 00:39:33.969
I don't think any of us really have the power

00:39:33.969 --> 00:39:35.769
to be like, yes, this will change. This will

00:39:35.769 --> 00:39:38.329
change. But we do have power in like our immediate

00:39:38.329 --> 00:39:41.289
communities and the change that we can, like,

00:39:41.309 --> 00:39:42.690
this is where like kind of the ripple effect

00:39:42.690 --> 00:39:46.769
starts to come in of, okay, I can't change what's

00:39:46.769 --> 00:39:50.099
happening on a macro level in this world. This

00:39:50.099 --> 00:39:53.130
is not something that I'm responsible for. i

00:39:53.130 --> 00:39:57.130
can change what's happening in my community right

00:39:57.130 --> 00:39:59.769
here and we each get to you know hold our own

00:39:59.769 --> 00:40:02.789
puzzle piece but the more that we say okay i

00:40:02.789 --> 00:40:04.929
can a put my there's a difference between selfish

00:40:04.929 --> 00:40:06.630
and self -first one of my mentors she taught

00:40:06.630 --> 00:40:09.269
me this and it was hugely revolutionary for me

00:40:09.269 --> 00:40:11.429
she's like selfish people they don't know what

00:40:11.429 --> 00:40:13.309
they need to fill their cup they have a void

00:40:13.309 --> 00:40:15.010
and they're just like i'm gonna take anything

00:40:15.010 --> 00:40:16.929
and everything to try and like fill this void

00:40:16.929 --> 00:40:19.110
and i don't know what it is self -first people

00:40:19.110 --> 00:40:22.449
they're like actually This is what I need to

00:40:22.449 --> 00:40:24.789
fill my cup because I know I can't, I can't put

00:40:24.789 --> 00:40:26.730
your oxygen mask on. If mine's not on first,

00:40:26.829 --> 00:40:29.110
if my cup isn't overflowing, I'm actually not

00:40:29.110 --> 00:40:31.449
going to be that helpful out in the world. So

00:40:31.449 --> 00:40:34.190
if we like can kind of start to understand, wow,

00:40:34.269 --> 00:40:37.730
if I'm prioritizing my joy and my play that I

00:40:37.730 --> 00:40:41.690
am not being selfish, I'm actually just seeing

00:40:41.690 --> 00:40:44.710
I can make way more impact if I'm in a resource

00:40:44.710 --> 00:40:48.269
space versus if I'm spiraling in fear, if I'm

00:40:48.269 --> 00:40:51.130
spiraling. confusion if i'm like you know and

00:40:51.130 --> 00:40:52.889
all of these overwhelmed kind of things it's

00:40:52.889 --> 00:40:56.929
a lot harder to think straight to um take action

00:40:56.929 --> 00:40:59.929
from these spaces to be grounded and then on

00:40:59.929 --> 00:41:02.190
a more like spiritual woo -woo kind of level

00:41:02.190 --> 00:41:05.090
to just embody the version of the world that

00:41:05.090 --> 00:41:06.349
we want you know like i think that there really

00:41:06.349 --> 00:41:07.929
is something to that like okay i'm gonna like

00:41:07.929 --> 00:41:10.369
walk in the world and like be the version of

00:41:10.369 --> 00:41:12.809
myself in this world that i wish other people

00:41:12.809 --> 00:41:16.039
would also do that too you know and and kind

00:41:16.039 --> 00:41:18.659
of embody that go first be the leader that goes

00:41:18.659 --> 00:41:21.119
first and and a lot of that starts to circle

00:41:21.119 --> 00:41:24.000
back to our screens because they're designed

00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:26.619
to be addictive and it's really hard because

00:41:26.619 --> 00:41:29.039
our work our social life all of it kind of revolves

00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:33.159
around it so having ways where you're kind of

00:41:33.159 --> 00:41:36.199
curating your feed so maybe there's like some

00:41:36.199 --> 00:41:39.059
place where you go to get informed, but maybe

00:41:39.059 --> 00:41:41.059
it's not like, because if you're using social,

00:41:41.119 --> 00:41:42.639
I think social media is great. I think it's a

00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.199
great tool. We get to learn things that like

00:41:44.199 --> 00:41:46.460
we would never learn about. It also has a lot

00:41:46.460 --> 00:41:50.099
of really negative, not so cool things. So, you

00:41:50.099 --> 00:41:51.840
know, if you can curate your feed to be things

00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:53.599
that actually fill your cup and like inspire

00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:55.539
you and like make you feel creative, or if you

00:41:55.539 --> 00:41:58.659
want to use it, like kind of like decide where

00:41:58.659 --> 00:42:00.960
is it that you want to get informed? How is that?

00:42:01.179 --> 00:42:04.239
Use that little corner to do that. If you're

00:42:04.239 --> 00:42:06.670
like, medias for connecting use it like that

00:42:06.670 --> 00:42:08.329
curate it like that unfollow things that you're

00:42:08.329 --> 00:42:10.409
like actually this makes me feel like you know

00:42:10.409 --> 00:42:13.070
like this makes me feel like doom and despair

00:42:13.070 --> 00:42:16.250
and then with that i have this thing is i'm not

00:42:16.250 --> 00:42:18.030
sponsored by it it just has really helped me

00:42:18.030 --> 00:42:19.789
it's called a break it's a little device that

00:42:19.789 --> 00:42:22.590
you get and it has an app that's connected to

00:42:22.590 --> 00:42:24.849
your phone and you basically like can like boop

00:42:24.849 --> 00:42:28.349
your phone to this little brick thing and based

00:42:28.349 --> 00:42:30.630
on whatever settings you put on the app on your

00:42:30.630 --> 00:42:33.369
phone it like blocks all of the things until

00:42:33.369 --> 00:42:35.150
you go back to it again so like i can like go

00:42:35.150 --> 00:42:37.250
on my phone now and i can't get on instagram

00:42:37.250 --> 00:42:39.289
i can't get on tiktok i can't get on youtube

00:42:39.289 --> 00:42:41.409
which is also like helpful for you know if you're

00:42:41.409 --> 00:42:44.010
just trying to like focus but we all like just

00:42:44.010 --> 00:42:46.449
the the absent -minded we've all caught ourselves

00:42:46.449 --> 00:42:48.909
being like wow i don't remember picking up my

00:42:48.909 --> 00:42:51.369
phone i don't remember like opening this app

00:42:51.369 --> 00:42:53.150
but i'm definitely sitting here scrolling and

00:42:53.150 --> 00:42:57.610
i am now doom scrolling and it's helpful to kind

00:42:57.610 --> 00:43:00.860
of like pause that thing um to kind of you know

00:43:00.860 --> 00:43:03.199
get it from both ends of give yourself that big

00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:05.219
why why do you want to create a better world

00:43:05.219 --> 00:43:08.920
and that helps fuel you to say okay i my joy

00:43:08.920 --> 00:43:12.659
is so important in this world i know this world

00:43:12.659 --> 00:43:15.280
is absolutely crazy and it's like the most radical

00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:18.480
freaking act to say the world is freaking falling

00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:23.559
apart around me and i'm gonna say okay and joy

00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:26.670
matters because if i could even like connect

00:43:26.670 --> 00:43:29.369
to somebody that i actually disagree with hugely

00:43:29.369 --> 00:43:32.250
on big things but if i can connect with them

00:43:32.250 --> 00:43:35.670
on a human way in a joyful way before they were

00:43:35.670 --> 00:43:37.489
like even like about to like go into like a meeting

00:43:37.489 --> 00:43:41.690
say they would most likely like study show make

00:43:41.690 --> 00:43:43.869
different choices in that room than if they're

00:43:43.869 --> 00:43:47.789
like i'm all pissed off and i'm whatever that

00:43:47.789 --> 00:43:49.730
is like you just make different choices in those

00:43:49.730 --> 00:43:51.789
two different we all do like every single human

00:43:51.789 --> 00:43:53.909
makes a different choice often when they're in

00:43:53.909 --> 00:43:55.349
a pissed off state than when they're in there

00:43:55.349 --> 00:44:00.099
yeah Well, I think this kind of brings me to

00:44:00.099 --> 00:44:02.059
my next point where like, I mean, the science

00:44:02.059 --> 00:44:04.739
is there, there've been real studies on this

00:44:04.739 --> 00:44:07.260
where like, it's like this, this idea of like

00:44:07.260 --> 00:44:09.559
joy or flow state or like what, whatever we're

00:44:09.559 --> 00:44:11.360
calling it, because I think this shows up differently

00:44:11.360 --> 00:44:15.239
for different people. Like it shows that people

00:44:15.239 --> 00:44:18.719
end up having more effective coping mechanisms.

00:44:19.059 --> 00:44:21.599
They have better, like improved physical and

00:44:21.599 --> 00:44:23.699
mental health outcomes. Like, and then there's

00:44:23.699 --> 00:44:26.780
just like, on a scale of it there's just like

00:44:26.780 --> 00:44:29.119
a greater overall satisfaction with like your

00:44:29.119 --> 00:44:32.840
life so i i mean the the body and the nervous

00:44:32.840 --> 00:44:35.960
system really reacts to exactly what you're talking

00:44:35.960 --> 00:44:39.400
about i completely agree with you yeah yeah and

00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:41.960
you know i i'm like we can like chicken and egg

00:44:41.960 --> 00:44:44.519
it a little bit, you know, like, I think I definitely

00:44:44.519 --> 00:44:47.159
have caught myself being like, wow, I'll be happy

00:44:47.159 --> 00:44:51.019
when I'll be joyful when I will, you know, like,

00:44:51.099 --> 00:44:52.619
and like, when my environment's different, when

00:44:52.619 --> 00:44:54.780
the, you know, and I think we can all start playing

00:44:54.780 --> 00:44:57.199
that game, you know, like, till the day we die,

00:44:57.300 --> 00:44:59.739
pretty much. And I think that joy is something

00:44:59.739 --> 00:45:02.039
that will like knock on our door, or that it

00:45:02.039 --> 00:45:04.860
is like, well, I can't be joyful because of this.

00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:07.559
I can't. And understanding, at least for myself,

00:45:07.659 --> 00:45:09.679
I personally think that like, there is a moment

00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:12.940
of okay, joy isn't always going to be knocking

00:45:12.940 --> 00:45:15.159
on my door. Like life is going to be life and

00:45:15.159 --> 00:45:16.659
life is going to be chaotic. There's going to

00:45:16.659 --> 00:45:18.460
be things that happen, but I can choose how I

00:45:18.460 --> 00:45:20.639
move through different moments and the meaning

00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:22.679
that I give different moments. And, you know,

00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:25.260
cause you can like kind of frame how you're seeing

00:45:25.260 --> 00:45:28.139
things and understanding, wow. Okay. If I'm,

00:45:28.139 --> 00:45:29.739
you know, not that we have to be joyful all the

00:45:29.739 --> 00:45:31.639
time. Like I'm a big, you know, like I feel all

00:45:31.639 --> 00:45:34.019
the emotions. I'm like, that's when people are

00:45:34.019 --> 00:45:35.800
like, are you sure? I'm like, yes, I do. I'm

00:45:35.800 --> 00:45:42.800
a big feeler. big proponent of the joy gym i

00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:44.000
call it you know it's like you go to the gym

00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:45.900
to like build your like muscle muscles it's like

00:45:45.900 --> 00:45:48.820
we gotta we haven't been practicing our joy muscles

00:45:48.820 --> 00:45:51.760
we have to practice what is it like to choose

00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:55.260
joy when i'm not feeling like it when i feel

00:45:56.039 --> 00:46:00.059
bored or sad or stressed or am in a worry spiral

00:46:00.059 --> 00:46:02.679
or i'm overwhelmed i can't even tell you the

00:46:02.679 --> 00:46:05.400
number of times that i have looked like a little

00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:09.219
sad sack like dragging my giant speaker to downtown

00:46:09.219 --> 00:46:12.199
being like oh i don't want to do this i'm not

00:46:12.199 --> 00:46:14.599
feeling very and then i'm like no like we committed

00:46:14.599 --> 00:46:17.360
to this a like that's very helpful but like and

00:46:17.360 --> 00:46:19.019
then noticing okay within like three to five

00:46:19.019 --> 00:46:21.199
minutes i feel like a completely different person

00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:23.579
of just yeah singing and dancing with a bunch

00:46:23.579 --> 00:46:27.300
of people and just having a joyful time and setting

00:46:27.300 --> 00:46:29.019
the intention. I just want to like make someone's

00:46:29.019 --> 00:46:30.440
day right now. I just want to spread some. Yeah.

00:46:31.539 --> 00:46:34.920
Well, and I think that like, there's kind of

00:46:34.920 --> 00:46:39.309
this. there's something to be said for like just

00:46:39.309 --> 00:46:41.969
just go do it like just just go do it's the same

00:46:41.969 --> 00:46:43.510
thing with like going to the gym where it's like

00:46:43.510 --> 00:46:45.110
i right now i'm trying to teach myself how to

00:46:45.110 --> 00:46:47.570
swim and it's like and it's been an ongoing journey

00:46:47.570 --> 00:46:49.389
and it's like there are days where it's like

00:46:49.389 --> 00:46:51.349
do i actually want to get in this pool and have

00:46:51.349 --> 00:46:53.730
this man like in the middle of lifetime fitness

00:46:53.730 --> 00:46:57.250
watching me like like flounder around in the

00:46:57.250 --> 00:46:59.590
water and then it's like just go do it just just

00:46:59.590 --> 00:47:02.860
go do it like and like it like you feel better

00:47:02.860 --> 00:47:04.719
at the end of it and like there's like when you

00:47:04.719 --> 00:47:07.260
start to prioritize like okay like and i think

00:47:07.260 --> 00:47:09.780
you know you're you're to your point of like

00:47:09.780 --> 00:47:12.260
you committed to yourself to do this because

00:47:12.260 --> 00:47:15.460
like you're not like answering to like a board

00:47:15.460 --> 00:47:17.000
of directors saying yeah i'm gonna go take a

00:47:17.000 --> 00:47:19.119
speaker downtown and i'm gonna like dance in

00:47:19.119 --> 00:47:22.559
like on the corner of like meridian in washington

00:47:22.559 --> 00:47:24.880
and like go do this no but like there is something

00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:27.519
to be said of like no i said i'm gonna do this

00:47:27.519 --> 00:47:30.039
and i'm gonna do it because i know at the end

00:47:30.039 --> 00:47:32.139
of the road like i'm gonna feel good about it

00:47:32.139 --> 00:47:33.760
so i think there's a hundred percent like something

00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:38.659
there too yeah you gotta i mean it it isn't just

00:47:38.659 --> 00:47:41.699
like i'm like the spark's always gonna be there

00:47:41.699 --> 00:47:45.420
you just kind of have to do it absolutely and

00:47:45.420 --> 00:47:47.440
and there like really is something like what

00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:48.900
do you have to lose like if you're already feeling

00:47:48.900 --> 00:47:51.219
like not so good and then you do it and you still

00:47:51.219 --> 00:47:54.000
feel not so good like all right, whatever. But

00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:57.300
like, if you do it and you do feel, wow, I believe

00:47:57.300 --> 00:48:00.179
in like 50 % better, not like my full best self,

00:48:00.219 --> 00:48:06.320
but that's a huge win. Yeah. So for the besties

00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:08.380
that are listening right now out there that are

00:48:08.380 --> 00:48:10.940
like exhausted with like everything we've got

00:48:10.940 --> 00:48:13.239
going on in the world and everything that like,

00:48:13.239 --> 00:48:16.079
like every, every responsibility that like every

00:48:16.079 --> 00:48:20.119
person has, I guess, what is the first step like

00:48:20.119 --> 00:48:26.360
to like in this journey? I mean, there's so many

00:48:26.360 --> 00:48:28.800
steps. I'm like, who knows what anyone's like,

00:48:28.800 --> 00:48:31.739
there's not like any one way of this is the first

00:48:31.739 --> 00:48:34.460
step. But honestly, a really huge thing for me,

00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:37.260
I know that it can feel counterintuitive. But

00:48:37.260 --> 00:48:40.400
personally, in my schedule, I like to plan something

00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:43.900
fun before I fill every other second of my day

00:48:43.900 --> 00:48:46.579
in my calendar, because I will do that. i will

00:48:46.579 --> 00:48:49.960
do that like i will put all the little boxes

00:48:49.960 --> 00:48:52.320
in my google calendar until there's like zero

00:48:52.320 --> 00:48:57.619
spaces left i mean the same way yeah right so

00:48:57.619 --> 00:49:00.260
saying okay before all of the little spaces are

00:49:00.260 --> 00:49:03.420
gone can i prioritize my joy in my play can i

00:49:03.420 --> 00:49:05.820
say okay like i'd like to go to choir or i like

00:49:05.820 --> 00:49:07.500
to go to dance at this time or i want to like

00:49:07.500 --> 00:49:10.039
invite my friends over this night for a pop -up

00:49:10.039 --> 00:49:12.639
or whatever it is that you like to do there's

00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:14.719
no one right or wrong answer and if you're so

00:49:14.719 --> 00:49:16.940
like I don't even remember what I like, Amy.

00:49:17.019 --> 00:49:19.519
I don't know what brings me joy. I mean, the

00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:21.840
quintessential thing of what did you love doing

00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:24.019
as a kid? It doesn't have to be tit for tat.

00:49:24.159 --> 00:49:27.099
You know, if you're like, I liked playing, I

00:49:27.099 --> 00:49:29.719
don't know, wizards in the forest. You don't

00:49:29.719 --> 00:49:32.920
have to go play wizards in the forest. I don't

00:49:32.920 --> 00:49:34.500
know why that was first. I didn't play wizards

00:49:34.500 --> 00:49:35.980
in the forest, but maybe somebody listening is

00:49:35.980 --> 00:49:39.340
like, sure. I did. I played with Harry Potter.

00:49:39.440 --> 00:49:43.199
Yeah. Maybe you don't need to do that. Exactly.

00:49:43.239 --> 00:49:44.860
You totally could. I think it'd actually be really

00:49:44.860 --> 00:49:47.179
fun. Maybe it's just like, Oh, I could go for

00:49:47.179 --> 00:49:50.659
a hike. I could like go for a hike and look for.

00:49:51.539 --> 00:49:54.400
a huge difference that i've made i have started

00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:57.099
i go on like a morning walk and recently i started

00:49:57.099 --> 00:49:59.539
saying okay i'm gonna go for this walk and i'm

00:49:59.539 --> 00:50:01.480
gonna try and find three miracles and it really

00:50:01.480 --> 00:50:03.880
has expanded what my definition of miracle is

00:50:03.880 --> 00:50:05.860
that's for sure because otherwise i'll be walking

00:50:05.860 --> 00:50:07.760
for all time if i'm looking for like i don't

00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:10.320
know a leprechaun to appear out of nowhere um

00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:15.809
but it really has expanded the way that I'm looking

00:50:15.809 --> 00:50:19.389
at the world and just noticing, wow, like I felt

00:50:19.389 --> 00:50:22.030
like a little tiny eggshell that had like fallen

00:50:22.030 --> 00:50:24.789
out of a tree the other day. I'm like, wow, that's

00:50:24.789 --> 00:50:27.309
incredible. And it just creates a sense of awe

00:50:27.309 --> 00:50:29.610
and wonder. It doesn't have to be this whole

00:50:29.610 --> 00:50:32.510
big, like I'm like Amy and I'm playing on the

00:50:32.510 --> 00:50:35.230
streets, but creating little pockets of joy that

00:50:35.230 --> 00:50:38.489
you can even stack onto, you know, little moments.

00:50:38.610 --> 00:50:40.570
I think I noticed for myself, even, you know,

00:50:40.590 --> 00:50:42.550
I'll be like ordering a coffee say, and I'll

00:50:42.550 --> 00:50:45.230
be in. I don't know. I kind of have like two

00:50:45.230 --> 00:50:47.690
modes sometimes. Like one of them is like, Amy's

00:50:47.690 --> 00:50:49.590
big and she's expensive. And then other ones

00:50:49.590 --> 00:50:52.050
like focus productive mode. And I'm like, who

00:50:52.050 --> 00:50:53.530
does, I'll be ordering my coffee. And I'm like,

00:50:53.530 --> 00:50:55.329
kind of like already onto the next thing. And

00:50:55.329 --> 00:50:57.110
I'm not paying attention at all to this human

00:50:57.110 --> 00:50:58.829
in front of me. Or I'm like trying to like maximize

00:50:58.829 --> 00:51:00.530
my time and be like, let me scroll through my

00:51:00.530 --> 00:51:02.190
phone and like trying to answer an email while

00:51:02.190 --> 00:51:04.610
I'm like, you know what I'm saying? And recognizing

00:51:04.610 --> 00:51:07.409
that I can kind of use these pockets where it's

00:51:07.409 --> 00:51:10.010
like, what, two minutes of my day to say, okay,

00:51:10.070 --> 00:51:12.679
let me like take a deep breath. And actually

00:51:12.679 --> 00:51:16.159
just connect with this person like for two seconds.

00:51:16.179 --> 00:51:19.539
And it feels so great to actually just connect

00:51:19.539 --> 00:51:21.840
with human beings, like genuinely connect, not

00:51:21.840 --> 00:51:24.099
the, Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you?

00:51:24.440 --> 00:51:26.639
You know, that like autopilot, like that's good

00:51:26.639 --> 00:51:28.420
too. You know, I love that too. But the, like,

00:51:28.420 --> 00:51:30.579
you get curious about someone like, or like,

00:51:30.579 --> 00:51:33.059
wow, like what's the story behind this jacket

00:51:33.059 --> 00:51:34.500
you're wearing? It's really interesting. Like,

00:51:34.539 --> 00:51:36.500
did you make that? Like what's going on? Whatever

00:51:36.500 --> 00:51:40.440
it is, you know, just kind of. allowing a moment

00:51:40.440 --> 00:51:44.219
to get out of your routine and take a deep breath

00:51:44.219 --> 00:51:48.179
to rest, to see where we can work smarter, not

00:51:48.179 --> 00:51:50.380
harder is also one in terms of like the people

00:51:50.380 --> 00:51:52.300
that are feeling real burnt out. I'm learning

00:51:52.300 --> 00:51:54.239
a lot about that right now. I'm reading the one

00:51:54.239 --> 00:51:57.300
thing in essentialism, work smarter, not harder,

00:51:57.400 --> 00:51:59.880
work to add something to that. That's like obviously

00:51:59.880 --> 00:52:01.940
a very different topic, but there is, I'm learning

00:52:01.940 --> 00:52:04.679
to something to, we often fill our days with

00:52:04.679 --> 00:52:07.820
like little mini tasks that aren't actually moving.

00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:09.840
needle forward in the way that we think it is

00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:11.820
there's like that one thing that we often avoid

00:52:11.820 --> 00:52:16.039
we got that done it would like move our productivity

00:52:16.039 --> 00:52:22.920
forward in a whole new level yeah nice um so

00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:24.619
something i've been i don't know if this has

00:52:24.619 --> 00:52:26.659
like bothered you to no end like in this like

00:52:26.659 --> 00:52:28.840
in our conversation but um it's something i've

00:52:28.840 --> 00:52:31.960
been very kind of intentional about is avoiding

00:52:31.960 --> 00:52:36.579
like defining what like what ways you can go

00:52:36.579 --> 00:52:37.920
about finding joy. Cause I think it does look

00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:39.420
different for everyone. Like, and that's something

00:52:39.420 --> 00:52:42.659
that like reading your book, I was like, there's

00:52:42.659 --> 00:52:44.199
a lot of stuff in here. I'm just never, I'm simply

00:52:44.199 --> 00:52:49.099
never going to do, but, but I was like, there

00:52:49.099 --> 00:52:51.400
is some, so you're going down to the middle of

00:52:51.400 --> 00:52:53.320
like an intersection or not an intersection,

00:52:53.440 --> 00:52:55.119
but like a street corner and you're, and you're

00:52:55.119 --> 00:52:57.300
doing like a dance and I'm not going to do that,

00:52:57.320 --> 00:52:59.039
but I love that for you. But I'm like, Oh, but

00:52:59.039 --> 00:53:02.500
I could do like, I could like make a playlist

00:53:02.500 --> 00:53:05.789
for like, like people at work or like whatever

00:53:05.789 --> 00:53:07.670
so i think there's something there that's like

00:53:07.670 --> 00:53:13.010
you you can take away a lot of things but i think

00:53:13.010 --> 00:53:16.909
that there's something that like something that

00:53:16.909 --> 00:53:20.730
you talked about uh in the book was like joyful

00:53:20.730 --> 00:53:23.190
risks because some of it does feel like you're

00:53:23.190 --> 00:53:25.630
it's like oh like can i take a jump can i do

00:53:25.630 --> 00:53:29.429
something can i can i like i think it comes back

00:53:29.429 --> 00:53:32.590
to this thing of like oh what like how do i like

00:53:32.989 --> 00:53:36.190
find like this person that i'm meant to be what

00:53:36.190 --> 00:53:40.130
is a joyful risk that you took where it like

00:53:40.130 --> 00:53:42.949
healed something in you or like it it kind of

00:53:42.949 --> 00:53:47.119
like changed you in some way so many constantly

00:53:47.119 --> 00:53:51.239
all the time I I recognize I mean I don't know

00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:53.320
if you've heard like the rejection therapy kind

00:53:53.320 --> 00:53:55.480
of thing going on yeah internet where people

00:53:55.480 --> 00:53:57.599
are like I'm gonna like I don't know scribble

00:53:57.599 --> 00:53:59.340
all over my face with like a marker and then

00:53:59.340 --> 00:54:01.019
I'm gonna like order my coffee and like do like

00:54:01.019 --> 00:54:03.179
a ridiculous thing and like see like like just

00:54:03.179 --> 00:54:06.929
be like oh wow like people don't really care

00:54:06.929 --> 00:54:09.210
every like most people are just like thinking

00:54:09.210 --> 00:54:11.809
okay it's it's been like it's like a fascinating

00:54:11.809 --> 00:54:13.849
thing or like this one woman she like was doing

00:54:13.849 --> 00:54:16.150
that and she had somehow like it was like i'm

00:54:16.150 --> 00:54:18.289
gonna like apply to like a bunch of you know

00:54:18.289 --> 00:54:19.949
colleges that i think i'll like never get into

00:54:19.949 --> 00:54:21.670
and she ended up like getting into like an ivy

00:54:21.670 --> 00:54:22.969
league or something and now she's got like a

00:54:22.969 --> 00:54:24.610
seven figure business and she's like doing all

00:54:24.610 --> 00:54:27.489
these like like 22 and we're like whoa it's wild

00:54:27.489 --> 00:54:30.389
um but there's like some similarities there i've

00:54:30.389 --> 00:54:34.739
recognized of leaning into joy i think particularly

00:54:34.739 --> 00:54:37.440
sometimes when we're we are feeling so disconnected

00:54:37.440 --> 00:54:40.239
from each other and we are so isolated it can

00:54:40.239 --> 00:54:42.920
feel risky it can feel vulnerable it can feel

00:54:42.920 --> 00:54:46.320
like oh my gosh like my comfort zone is not to

00:54:46.320 --> 00:54:49.860
do the joyful thing like because the joyful thing

00:54:49.860 --> 00:54:52.739
is pretty countercultural like it's pretty it's

00:54:52.739 --> 00:54:54.820
not the norm for most people and i think that's

00:54:54.820 --> 00:54:57.760
why it feels risky and vulnerable you know because

00:54:57.760 --> 00:55:00.820
it's okay it's not it's not like i don't think

00:55:00.820 --> 00:55:02.320
anything that would like most people be like

00:55:02.320 --> 00:55:05.960
offended by um for the most part you know i'm

00:55:05.960 --> 00:55:07.820
sure there's always you know the odd bird they'll

00:55:07.820 --> 00:55:10.280
be like i am already joyful those people are

00:55:10.280 --> 00:55:12.760
really humans to me when they say that to me

00:55:12.760 --> 00:55:17.739
cool you don't seem like it but it's all good

00:55:17.739 --> 00:55:23.000
you like it i love it yeah you're doing great

00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:29.719
job's done cool see you later there's um i think

00:55:29.719 --> 00:55:32.260
that that moment to notice okay like this is

00:55:32.260 --> 00:55:34.760
feeling like you look like in the sea of people

00:55:34.760 --> 00:55:36.360
you know i'm thinking like i don't know i go

00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:38.219
to like my co -working space where there's you

00:55:38.219 --> 00:55:41.300
know like 50 different people all just like zombies

00:55:41.300 --> 00:55:43.260
in front of their computer and you know you want

00:55:43.260 --> 00:55:45.500
to like create a connection and you know that

00:55:45.500 --> 00:55:47.940
risky moment that was like okay i'm gonna like

00:55:47.940 --> 00:55:50.440
try and like create a connection with a stranger

00:55:50.440 --> 00:55:52.800
right now. Like that feels, it feels like a social

00:55:52.800 --> 00:55:54.739
risk because they could say no. And like, we're

00:55:54.739 --> 00:55:56.559
all kind of scared of rejection and we want belonging.

00:55:56.639 --> 00:55:59.440
And there's so much less of that. I think that

00:55:59.440 --> 00:56:01.760
we don't like, we're not like consciously thinking

00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:04.139
like, I'm scared to do the joyful thing because

00:56:04.139 --> 00:56:06.519
I'm scared of rejection. And it seems a little

00:56:06.519 --> 00:56:10.840
scary to face a fear of non -belonging that lives

00:56:10.840 --> 00:56:14.639
deep within my body. Yeah. The more that we do

00:56:14.639 --> 00:56:17.230
it, the more that it. feels more normal and it

00:56:17.230 --> 00:56:19.650
feel like kind of expands our comfort zone you

00:56:19.650 --> 00:56:21.130
know and I think that's a huge way that I've

00:56:21.130 --> 00:56:24.510
just grown all along the the whole journey of

00:56:24.510 --> 00:56:27.409
I mean I used to like I would just like kind

00:56:27.409 --> 00:56:31.090
of make myself like do it all the time like I

00:56:31.090 --> 00:56:32.309
would literally to the point where I would like

00:56:32.309 --> 00:56:34.809
wear my ukulele everywhere with me and like walk

00:56:34.809 --> 00:56:38.670
around singing and playing my ukulele just like

00:56:38.670 --> 00:56:43.090
being like oh people don't care like yeah nobody

00:56:43.090 --> 00:56:47.420
is like oh my god That woman is singing down

00:56:47.420 --> 00:56:50.900
the street with ukulele. We must like, I don't

00:56:50.900 --> 00:56:54.420
know, sing new things to her. Well, no, I think

00:56:54.420 --> 00:56:56.900
that like, and people are going to look at that

00:56:56.900 --> 00:56:58.179
in one of two ways. It's like, they're either

00:56:58.179 --> 00:57:00.039
going to recognize like, oh, this person wants

00:57:00.039 --> 00:57:01.719
to add a little bit of joy to someone's day,

00:57:01.840 --> 00:57:05.119
or they're going to be like, look at that. Like,

00:57:05.159 --> 00:57:07.639
look at her just like having a time. And I think

00:57:07.639 --> 00:57:09.659
either way you look at it is fine. Cause like,

00:57:09.679 --> 00:57:13.219
I think that like going back to the rejection

00:57:13.219 --> 00:57:16.719
therapy of like, like marking all over your face

00:57:16.719 --> 00:57:19.179
with like a crayola marker like i'm simply not

00:57:19.179 --> 00:57:21.400
gonna do that but like at the same time like

00:57:21.400 --> 00:57:23.920
if someone came up to me and like had marker

00:57:23.920 --> 00:57:27.599
all over their face like i'd be like okay like

00:57:27.599 --> 00:57:29.980
some of this stuff is just not that deep and

00:57:29.980 --> 00:57:33.539
i think yeah like or like it can feel like i'm

00:57:33.539 --> 00:57:35.719
like this like radical groundbreaking thing and

00:57:35.719 --> 00:57:37.800
i'm like okay diva like mark on your fate like

00:57:37.800 --> 00:57:40.659
because like like i mean if like if i like get

00:57:40.659 --> 00:57:43.570
into it i'm like yeah this person probably needed

00:57:43.570 --> 00:57:46.010
to mark on their face with the marker because

00:57:46.010 --> 00:57:47.769
they were having a bad day and they're dealing

00:57:47.769 --> 00:57:49.250
with everything that's going on in the world

00:57:49.250 --> 00:57:51.710
like and i think it like you you like you get

00:57:51.710 --> 00:57:55.650
there somehow of like whatever like it's okay

00:57:55.650 --> 00:57:58.010
like i'm gonna be people you know i mean there's

00:57:58.010 --> 00:57:59.889
florida man out there you know doing all the

00:57:59.889 --> 00:58:02.969
florida man stuff so i'm like like we're not

00:58:02.969 --> 00:58:06.710
that strange yeah and i gotta tell you like they're

00:58:06.710 --> 00:58:12.840
like it's it's it's a sliding scale i think florida

00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:14.820
man is like the best the best one though where

00:58:14.820 --> 00:58:18.179
it's like yeah he's like that that man's taking

00:58:18.179 --> 00:58:22.619
the cake like he's doing it yeah but we were

00:58:22.619 --> 00:58:24.500
looking for an award i don't know if anyone else

00:58:24.500 --> 00:58:27.019
was like competing for it but you got it you

00:58:27.019 --> 00:58:32.039
got it um i have some rapid fire questions for

00:58:32.039 --> 00:58:35.329
you ready uh what's the number one song on your

00:58:35.329 --> 00:58:39.110
joy playlist oh number one okay well in terms

00:58:39.110 --> 00:58:41.230
of like joy playlists that i share out in the

00:58:41.230 --> 00:58:46.170
world um people love who let the dogs out i didn't

00:58:46.170 --> 00:58:49.289
know it but people love that song they love it

00:58:49.289 --> 00:58:51.170
like if i play it in the streets like people

00:58:51.170 --> 00:58:57.099
will like really gather and be like okay yeah

00:58:57.099 --> 00:59:01.139
i did scare a group of um non i didn't realize

00:59:01.139 --> 00:59:02.619
it at the time they were a bunch of teenage boys

00:59:02.619 --> 00:59:04.840
i'm like oh they're gonna love this um and i

00:59:04.840 --> 00:59:06.380
was like why are they looking scared of me and

00:59:06.380 --> 00:59:08.199
then i realized because they didn't know what

00:59:08.199 --> 00:59:10.739
the song was no they didn't speak english so

00:59:10.739 --> 00:59:17.179
this random woman comes up like barking got it

00:59:17.179 --> 00:59:23.699
another language beautiful okay wow amy what

00:59:23.699 --> 00:59:27.119
are the first Sorry. What are the first three

00:59:27.119 --> 00:59:29.199
words that come to mind when you hear the word

00:59:29.199 --> 00:59:37.119
joy? Oh, uplifting, fun, inspirational. Cool.

00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:40.179
What's something that made you smile this week?

00:59:41.099 --> 00:59:45.679
Oh, something that made me smile this week. Let's

00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:47.900
see. Oh, you know, I had a really sweet conversation

00:59:47.900 --> 00:59:50.559
with someone yesterday where they just like totally

00:59:50.559 --> 00:59:55.920
saw me. They just really saw like, who i am and

00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:58.400
what i'm doing and like reflected it back like

00:59:58.400 --> 01:00:00.179
to a point where i was like i'm gonna literally

01:00:00.179 --> 01:00:03.440
start crying right now like this is so sweet

01:00:03.440 --> 01:00:08.940
i love it um last one if the besties on here

01:00:08.940 --> 01:00:12.420
listening take away just one thing from our conversation

01:00:12.420 --> 01:00:17.639
today what do you want it to be your joy makes

01:00:17.639 --> 01:00:19.639
a difference in this world i know that sometimes

01:00:19.639 --> 01:00:22.389
it can feel like it doesn't and that it feels

01:00:22.389 --> 01:00:24.789
i don't know like it's all for nothing or for

01:00:24.789 --> 01:00:27.909
like selfish reasons but that our joy i truly

01:00:27.909 --> 01:00:30.710
do believe from the bottom of my heart can slowly

01:00:30.710 --> 01:00:33.150
start to change the world i i really believe

01:00:33.150 --> 01:00:35.309
that it can create ripples of impact beyond what

01:00:35.309 --> 01:00:38.030
we can ever imagine whatever we can see like

01:00:38.030 --> 01:00:42.110
you know you you can never even fathom how what

01:00:42.110 --> 01:00:44.909
corners of the world the ripple from the ripple

01:00:44.909 --> 01:00:47.650
from the ripple of something that you do in someone's

01:00:47.650 --> 01:00:50.230
day can create out there in the world and that

01:00:50.349 --> 01:00:53.889
It's so it's so worth it. It's it's it's so worth

01:00:53.889 --> 01:00:56.969
any like moments of like risk and fear and discomfort

01:00:56.969 --> 01:00:58.989
or, you know, the discomfort of having to break

01:00:58.989 --> 01:01:01.590
old patterns of like being yourself and like

01:01:01.590 --> 01:01:03.170
ways that you're like, I don't want to be this

01:01:03.170 --> 01:01:05.409
overwhelmed or miserable or whatever it is version

01:01:05.409 --> 01:01:07.550
that I definitely am constantly still breaking

01:01:07.550 --> 01:01:11.130
to this day. It's not always comfy, but it's

01:01:11.130 --> 01:01:16.000
worth it. I love it. this has been really fun

01:01:16.000 --> 01:01:17.940
i've like i've actually really enjoyed talking

01:01:17.940 --> 01:01:20.000
to you like it's been a wild week and like i'm

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:22.139
glad that like we got here uh tell the people

01:01:22.139 --> 01:01:24.239
where they can find you Yeah, you can find me

01:01:24.239 --> 01:01:27.659
at my website, livejoyfullyyou .com. You can

01:01:27.659 --> 01:01:30.940
find the first 10 pages to my book for free on

01:01:30.940 --> 01:01:32.440
there. If you're like, I don't know if I want

01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:34.480
to go the full shaboosie and buy it on Amazon.

01:01:34.659 --> 01:01:36.360
You're like, I'm going to try it out. You can

01:01:36.360 --> 01:01:38.599
get it for free and it'll go to your inbox. And

01:01:38.599 --> 01:01:40.519
if you're watching, this is what the book, this

01:01:40.519 --> 01:01:42.360
is the new cover. I had to make a new cover so

01:01:42.360 --> 01:01:44.079
that it could go into bookstores because I didn't

01:01:44.079 --> 01:01:45.960
realize there were certain things and regulations.

01:01:46.380 --> 01:01:49.440
It's a first time author that now I know. It's

01:01:49.440 --> 01:01:51.440
slightly different as you might see from your

01:01:51.440 --> 01:01:53.969
copy. it literally just came in yesterday but

01:01:53.969 --> 01:01:56.630
yeah you can get this on amazon um or if you're

01:01:56.630 --> 01:01:59.769
like social media is my jam at the amy dickens

01:01:59.769 --> 01:02:02.010
on all the socials you can find me just being

01:02:02.010 --> 01:02:04.849
an absolute goof you're like i need to totally

01:02:04.849 --> 01:02:09.650
revamp my social media page now to like be uplifting

01:02:09.650 --> 01:02:15.679
i'm your girl i love it Amy's new book, 101 Ways

01:02:15.679 --> 01:02:18.059
to Spread Joy, is out now. Grab it at the link

01:02:18.059 --> 01:02:21.260
that I'm going to throw in the show notes. Thank

01:02:21.260 --> 01:02:22.699
you for being here. Thank you for listening.

01:02:22.920 --> 01:02:25.579
Follow the pod everywhere. Follow Amy. She's

01:02:25.579 --> 01:02:28.139
been really cool. This conversation has been

01:02:28.139 --> 01:02:33.239
a bright spot in my week. And share us with your

01:02:33.239 --> 01:02:36.159
messiest friend from Indie to wherever you're

01:02:36.159 --> 01:02:38.360
spreading joy. We love you, and we'll see you

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next time. See you. Oh, cool. That was fun. So

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fun.